A conversation about the gritty, messy experience of faith when the things you want are not a "not yet" but a "no", life as a mother of five adopted children while grieving a permanent infertility diagnosis, why sometimes we need to stop waiting for a miracle, trying again and being told “no” again by God after 20 years of accepting, the impact of life setbacks on marriage and being willing to get support, the spiritual framework that makes Chavie's faith possible, and choosing to live with joy even when life doesn’t go as planned. Chavie Bruk is the host of Totally Unexpected!, a podcast featuring long-form interviews that uncover the one unexpected moment that shaped her guests’ lives. She is the author of a weekly blog on Substack, a sought-after public speaker, and a passionate advocate for adoption and infertility awareness. She and her husband are the directors of Chabad-Lubavitch of Montana, where they have spent nearly two decades building Jewish life out west and are the parents of five adopted children. She is an avid reader, traveler, fitness and health enthusiast, and endlessly curious about this messy ride we all call life. Listen to Totally Unexpected! wherever you get your podcasts and read her blog at www.totallyunexpected.blog. Chavie can be reached on Instagram @chaviebruk or by email at [email protected] To inquire about sponsorship & advertising opportunities, please email us at [email protected] To support our work, visit humanandholy.com/sponsor. 00:00 Introducing Chavie Bruk 02:52 Chavie introduces herself 04:23 Seasons of family vs. seasons of community service 08:39 Why she lets her community see the harder parts of her life 10:42 Permanent infertility diagnosis 15:33 Choosing to live fully inside the hardest years instead of just surviving them 17:22 The "why me" question — and how it eventually became "how" 20:11 Acceptance isn't linear — re-accepting the same grief at a deeper layer, years later 22:50 Holding grief and gratitude at the same time 23:09 Her unconventional relationship to miracles — the decision she made on her 30th birthday 26:02 When spiritual belief becomes spiritual bypassing — and how to tell the difference 29:12 On waiting: traveling with a child with special needs instead of waiting for "someday" 34:00 Living in the thick of life — why she started her podcast without waiting for it to be easier 35:25 The toll hard circumstances take on a marriage — and the stigma around therapy 40:24 Learning your couple's "trigger dance," and the tools that actually hold a marriage together 51:04Turning a canceled marriage-counseling slot into a standing weekly coffee date 53:16What it actually looks like to grieve a life that didn't turn out how you expected 54:11 The twinge she feels when someone close to her gets pregnant — and giving it room instead of shame 58:56 The story she's never said out loud before: a new fertility possibility reopens after 20 years 1:00:09 Saying no, then yes, then the test — and the result 1:02:20 "Why did You do that?" — wrestling openly with Hashem after the door closed again 1:04:38 What her therapist helped her see: this wasn't a setback, it was another layer of healing 1:07:07 "That's not my story" — choosing what this experience gets to mean 1:11:14 Not every "not yet" is a not-yet — sometimes it's a no, and that's its own form of faith 1:13:33 Faith isn't feeling good when things go well — it's staying okay when they don't 1:14:22 Why she teaches Tanya — the mechanics of the spiritual world as grounding, not platitude 1:17:18 Living in the present moment as the antidote to shame about the past and fear of the future 1:22:36 Real bitachon isn't toxic positivity — Hashem wants your anger too, not just your best behavior 1:24:47 What "messy" actually looks like behind a polished, recorded conversation 1:26:35 Knowing your own constitution — why she's "fire," not Zen, and why that's not a flaw to fix 1:28:03 Rapid fire & outro

An honest, joyful, and deeply practical conversation about Jewish parenting. We talk about how to genuinely infuse your home with love of Judaism, what to do when you want to teach a value you don't fully keep yourself, the difference between an inherited Judaism and discovered Judaism, how to see every child as an individual, and what to do when your child doesn't fit the school system. We explore confidence-building for kids who struggle academically or socially, the balance between school and home, and why the home is more powerful than we give it credit for. We also talk about technology and eye contact, parenting without controlling, and how to stay open to who your child is actually becoming. * * * * * * * Mrs. Elisheva Segelman is a respected educator, mentor, and community leader whose warmth, wisdom, and dedication have impacted students, families, and community members across a wide range of settings. She currently serves as the Program Director at Yavneh Hebrew Academy in Los Angeles and as the Mashgicha Ruchanit for the middle school girls, where she is known for her ability to inspire meaningful personal growth, cultivate strong relationships, and help students develop a deep connection to Torah and Jewish values. Mrs. Segelman also serves as the Rebbetzin of the Young Israel of Hancock Park, where she plays an active role in supporting and enriching the spiritual life of the community. A highly sought-after kallah teacher, she has guided countless brides with sensitivity, wisdom, and genuine care. During the summer months, she serves as the Director of Orah Day Camp in Far Rockaway, New York, where she oversees a thriving camp program and mentors both campers and staff. Together with her husband, Rabbi Elan Segelman, Mrs. Segelman has served Jewish communities in both New York and Los Angeles. Since moving to Los Angeles in 2021, she has become a beloved presence in the community, known for her dedication to Torah, education, chesed, and helping others navigate life's opportunities and challenges with confidence and faith. Rabbi and Mrs. Segelman are the proud parents of six children. * * * * * * * To inquire about sponsorship & advertising opportunities, please email us at [email protected] To support our work, visit humanandholy.com/sponsor. Find us on Instagram @humanandholy & subscribe to our channel to stay up to date on all our upcoming conversations ✨ Human & Holy podcast is available on all podcast streaming platforms. New episodes every Sunday & Wednesday on YouTube, Spotify, Apple Podcasts, and Google Podcasts. * * * * * * * TIMESTAMPS: 0:00 Host's Intro 1:44 Introducing Elisheva Segelman 4:22 Parenting with the long view — seeing your child as a future adult 6:58 Transparency and authenticity at home 9:19 What if you hate Pesach? Finding the Jewish joy you actually feel 13:23 Is it hypocrisy? Teaching a value you don't fully keep yourself 17:39 The Finding Nemo story: what we expose children to leaves a mark 21:00 The power of your home: what you fill it with is yours to choose 23:18 Family pride and identity as a vessel for Judaism 27:11 Inherited Judaism vs. discovered Judaism 30:17 Seeing past your child's grades and struggles 32:36 The teacher who changed everything 35:10 "Just because you failed a class doesn't mean you're a failure as a human" 38:42 Choosing the right school for your specific child 45:14 "You are fingerprinting the world with the next generation of humans" 52:37 School vs. home — where does the real education happen? 57:13 Social struggles — what every child needs to know 59:32 Eye contact, technology, and what our children are actually asking for 1:02:56 Staying open to who your child becomes 1:05:31 Three practical things to infuse your home with Judaism 1:10:52 It's never too late to change course 1:12:32 Building your support system as a parent 1:15:01 Soul to soul message 1:16:00 The "feel good folder" and surrounding yourself with the right people

The Torah opens up with failure after failure, we have laws of repair (teshuvah) baked into our Judaism, and yet many who live a value-driven life live in enormous fear of failing. Why are we harder on ourselves than G-d is? Today, we talk about the Jewish perspective on failure, along with Karen's own experiences. How do you hold your mistakes seriously without becoming them? Does forgiving yourself mean letting yourself off the hook? We get into the Rambam's laws of teshuva, Rav Soloveitchik's framework of fate versus destiny, and a seminary interview answer that always made Karen uncomfortable. * * * * * * * With more than 25 years of dedicated experience in Jewish education, Karen Hochhauser brings a deep passion for learning and leadership to her role as Co-Director of the Miriam Glaubach Center. In this senior leadership position she helps guide the Center’s mission of supporting, educating and certifying Yoatzot Halacha—women trained as halachic advisors—and of strengthening communities across North America and beyond. Prior to this appointment, Karen spent 17 years at Tiferet, a thriving seminary in Ramat Beit Shemesh, both as a teacher and an administrator. During that time she developed expertise in mentoring young adults, designing and implementing enriching programs, and cultivating vibrant educational communities.She holds a B.A. in English Literature and an M.A. in Jewish Education from Yeshiva University. Karen lives in Beit Shemesh with her husband. Dr. Carl Hochhauser, and their five children. Find her on instagram @torahwithmymother. Karen can be reached at [email protected] To inquire about sponsorship & advertising opportunities, please email us at [email protected] To support our work, visit humanandholy.com/sponsor. Find us on Instagram @humanandholy & subscribe to our channel to stay up to date on all our upcoming conversations ✨ Human & Holy podcast is available on all podcast streaming platforms. New episodes every Sunday & Wednesday on YouTube, Spotify, Apple Podcasts, and Google Podcasts. * * * * * * * TIMESTAMPS: 0:00 — We are much harder on ourselves than G-d is 1:16 — Why the Torah begins with a series of human catastrophes 2:46 — "Failure is almost a four-letter word in my house" 5:04 — Adam, Kayin, Noach: what the Torah's biggest stumbles have in common 8:55 — Failure is inevitable. So why did Hashem design it that way? 9:01 — The Rambam's radical idea: return is always possible 10:53 — Asking for forgiveness vs. granting it, which is actually harder? 11:18 — The mirror exercise: what it really means to forgive yourself 12:38 — The seminary interview answer Karen couldn't stand 13:51 — The difference between shame that destroys and accountability that heals 15:26 — Chapter one of Tanya: why calling yourself a rasha is dangerous 17:32 — Rav Soloveitchik's fate vs. destiny 21:10 — From "why is this happening to me" to "what am I going to do with this" 22:01 — Can failure be fate? 23:59 — The missed train on the way to a lecture about failure 25:22 — "You don't have to do it alone" 26:22 — Was your worst mistake destined? 28:41 — The responsibility to respond 44:23 — Why letting your kids fail at small things is an act of love 45:59 — When the suffering isn't your fault at all 46:00 — The rabbi of the Warsaw Ghetto, what he wrote in his final year 48:50 — "G-d is right next to us, crying" 50:50 — What it means to not be alone in your pain 52:37 — "Hashem believes in you. So you need to believe in yourself."

Join our virtual Tanya class here: https://humanandholy.mykajabi.com/tanyaclass Chana Bennet grew up in the religious system, but found herself searching for something from a young age. With nowhere to turn, she turned to God. In this conversation, Chana discusses the concept of devekut (attachment to God), the role of a Tzadik in awakening the soul, and what it actually looks like to live in daily relationship with Hashem. * * * * * * * To inquire about sponsorship & advertising opportunities, please email us at [email protected] To support our work, visit humanandholy.com/sponsor. Find us on Instagram @humanandholy & subscribe to our channel to stay up to date on all our upcoming conversations ✨ Human & Holy podcast is available on all podcast streaming platforms. New episodes every Sunday & Wednesday on YouTube, Spotify, Apple Podcasts, and Google Podcasts.

A live Human & Holy Women's Open Mic Night in Jerusalem, exploring the theme "I Am a Dreamer". A deeply moving evening of poetry, prose and song about dreams fulfilled and dreams shattered, on the dreams laid to rest and the ones held onto with quiet persistence, on the courage to keep dreaming. Listen for an expansive, heart opening hour of soulful art that will dare you to your own dreams. Thank you to Sara & Joel Halpern for hosting this evening in Jerusalem. Featured in this episode (in order of appearance): Mazal Zaikin Zeesy Gurevitch Rivka Mazal Tauber Chanah Rothberg Hindel Swerdlow Estee Silberberg (30:07) Name Missing (32:28) Name Missing Ariella Seltzer Shani Pollack Miriam Sebbag Leah Katz Keren Vardi Devorah Rutner Chana Bennett Tonia Chazanow * * * * * * * To join our virtual Tanya class, click here: https://humanandholy.mykajabi.com/tanyaclassTo inquire about sponsorship & advertising opportunities, please email us at [email protected] To support our work, visit humanandholy.com/sponsor. Find us on Instagram @humanandholy & subscribe to our channel to stay up to date on all our upcoming conversations ✨ Human & Holy podcast is available on all podcast streaming platforms. New episodes every Sunday & Wednesday on YouTube, Spotify, Apple Podcasts, and Google Podcasts.

I recently opened a box of my middle school journals, and found the question that has followed me for nearly twenty years: could I honestly call myself a chossid of a Rebbe I had never met? In honor of Gimmel Tammuz, the anniversary of the Lubavitcher Rebbe's passing, I explore some of the questions that have gnawed at me for as long as I can remember: Should my relationship to the Rebbe be defined by longing? Am I fundamentally missing out on a nostalgic, golden age of Chabad if I never met him? What distinct message did the Rebbe have for a generation with a strong emphasis on the self? Is our determination to feel deeply "aligned" with our life choices a flaw, or a gift? Was the Rebbe passing on the baton, and if yes, to who? Drawing on a community survey and a close reading of V'atah Tetzaveh, this episode explores the generational shift the Rebbe himself outlined, what a relationship shaped by ignition, not loss, might look like, and how the Rebbe encouraged each person to step into their mission, to embrace the specificity of their identities and be the unique, unrepeatable messengers of Hashem the world is waiting for. * * * * * * * To inquire about sponsorship & advertising opportunities, please email us at [email protected] To support our work, visit humanandholy.com/sponsor. Find us on Instagram @humanandholy & subscribe to our channel to stay up to date on all our upcoming conversations ✨ Human & Holy podcast is available on all podcast streaming platforms. New episodes every Sunday & Wednesday on YouTube, Spotify, Apple Podcasts, and Google Podcasts. * * * * * * * TIMESTAMPS: 00:00 Finding my middle school journals 01:33 "Do we have the right to call ourselves a Chossid?" 04:00 Should I yearn for the physical presence of a Rebbe I never met? 06:00 Growing up on shlichus in Houston, TX 08:30 The enormous grief of Gimmel Tammuz 10:30 The community survey about the Rebbe 12:00 The message from the Rebbe that changed people's lives 13:15 Would you call yourself a chossid? 14:30 The final piece of the Torah the Rebbe distributed 15:30 Generation of self-sacrifice vs. religious freedom 17:55 Exploring V'atah Tetzaveh 19:30 What is higher than self-sacrifice? 21:36 Why connect to a Tzadik? 24:00 This generation's power 27:00 The specificity of who you are is your mission 30:00 Every person can be a Rebbe 33:00 When the Rebbe passed on the baton 35:58 Am I a follower of the Lubavitcher Rebbe? 37:48 The vision of Moshiach 38:50 Outro

Orthodox Jewish singer Shaindy Plotzker discusses her journey within the music industry, using our talents and voices for the sake of a higher purpose, performing for women’s only crowds and the blessings she’s seen come of it, seeing G-d as the source of both our successes and hardships, learning how to rest, elevating other women in her industry, advice for aspiring artists, and the deep intention that guides her every move. Discover more from Shaindy Plotzker at shaindyplotzker.com and by streaming her music on Youtube, Spotify and all music streaming platforms. Connect with her on instagram via @shaindyplotzkermusic. Episode Partners: TOVEEDO: An online children's streaming subscription featuring exclusive Jewish content created and sourced by Toveedo. Use code HH10 for 10% off at Toveedo.com. ZELDA HAIR: A wig company that champions the holistic process of hair covering for Jewish women. Shop Zelda Hair at zeldahairshop.com and discover the heart behind the brand on Instagram @zeldahair.To inquire about sponsorship & advertising opportunities, please email us at [email protected] support our work, visit humanandholy.com/sponsor.Find us on Instagram @humanandholy & subscribe to our channel to stay up to date on all our upcoming conversations ✨Human & Holy podcast available on all podcast streaming platforms. New episodes every Sunday on Youtube, Spotify, Apple Podcasts, and Google Podcasts. 0:15 Toveedo Sponsorship 1:06 Host's Introduction 2:20 Welcome Shaindy Plotzker  3:00 What Makes Shaindy Who She Is? 5:17 Shaindy's Journey into the Music World 8:02 What Do I Want to be Known For? 9:50 Putting the Spotlight on Others 11:00 The Spiritual Significance of Women's Concerts 14:20 The Challenges & Rewards of Singing for Women Only  15:45 Getting Halachic Guidance on Her Career 18:10 Seeing Open Blessings from Doing the Right Thing 20:00 I Am Not Motivated by Self Expression 25:00 My Talent is a Vessel for G-d 27:28 How Does Faith in G-d Impact Her Business? 30:26 Put Your Trust in G-d, Not People 31:30 The Jewish People's Story (Kol Isha) 35:35 Advice On Faith When Business is Hard 38:00 My Voice Doesn't Define Me 39:30 Defining Yourself Beyond Success 42:12 Lifting Up Fellow Artists in Her Industry 49:16 Can Jewish Music Hold Sorrowful Emotion? 54:55 Music Writing Process 56:15 Joy and Sadness Can Coexist 58:35 Being Intentional About How I Share  59:42 A Moving Concert in Israel After Oct. 7th 1:06:27 Hold Onto Hope  1:08:54 Knowing When to Say No to an Opportunity 1:12:04 Learning How to Rest 1:21:18 Advice to Jewish Women With Unique Talents 1:25:08 Stop Being a Perfectionist and Start Somewhere 1:30:00 Rapid Fire Questions and Closing Thoughts 1:37:12 Zelda Hair Sponsorship & Host's Outro

A conversation with a practicing marriage and family therapist about the limits of therapeutic language. Fraida establishes the enormous gifts of therapy in giving people the ability to come face to face with their humanity and inner healing, and suggests that as Jews, we don't have to stop there. We can weave the reality of our divine souls and infinite potential into the story of our vulnerability and humanity. The women's siddur is back in stock and available for purchase on humanandholy.com/shop. We love hearing your feedback! Email us at [email protected] sponsor an episode, reach out to us via email or visit ⁠humanandholy.com/sponsor⁠.Become a monthly supporter of the podcast on ⁠patreon.com/humanandholy⁠.

When nothing is large enough to hold the enormity of your emotions, where do you go? This episode is Chani's story of finding solace in the weekly Parsha, how the emotional wisdom of the Torah became her mirror and comfort as she grieved the loss of her older sister, Raizel. A moving reflection on what it means to bring the full emotional range of our inner experiences to our study of the Torah. The women's siddur is back in stock and available for purchase on humanandholy.com/shop. We love hearing your feedback! Email us at [email protected] to get in touch. To sponsor an episode, reach out to us via email or visit ⁠⁠humanandholy.com/sponsor⁠⁠. Become a monthly supporter of the podcast on ⁠⁠patreon.com/humanandholy⁠⁠. You can find us on instagram @humanandholy.