Electric scooters have become a familiar sight in many communities. For some, they're a convenient way to get to school, shiurim, friends' houses and local activities. For others, they're a growing source of concern. In this special mini episode, Rabbi S F Zimmerman addresses one of the most discussed topics affecting children, teenagers and parents today. Are electric scooters simply a modern convenience, or is there a deeper issue at stake? How should parents respond when "everyone in the class has one"? Who bears responsibility – parents, schools, rabbonim, or the wider community? And what should a family do if a child has already spent hundreds of pounds of Bar Mitzvah money on a scooter? A concise but important discussion offering Daas Torah and practical guidance on a topic generating debate across the UK, the USA and beyond. Sponsored anonymously by someone who believes this episode could save lives.

We know what we do on Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur. But what are we actually supposed to be thinking and feeling? In the second part of this special Elul series, Mena Reisner continues his conversation with Rabbi S. F. Zimmerman, exploring the meaning behind the Yamim Noraim. Why do we celebrate on the Day of Judgment? Why is there almost no mention of teshuvah in the Rosh Hashanah tefillos? What is the shofar actually meant to achieve? What changes during Aseres Yemei Teshuvah, and what makes Yom Kippur fundamentally different from every other day? From Rosh Hashanah through Ne’ilah, a thought-provoking conversation about how to approach the most important days of the Jewish year and what we should actually be trying to achieve.   Timestamps: [00:00] – Introduction; Elul Part 2 and Rosh Hashanah focus [00:39] – Rosh Hashanah as Yom HaDin and Yom Tov; fear vs simcha [05:23] – No vidui/confession in Rosh Hashanah davening [09:08] – Being “Mamluch Hashem” and defining essence as avdei Hashem [09:40] – Personal requests on Rosh Hashanah and “Hashem’s payroll” [13:06] – What shofar accomplishes; wake-up call and the Satan [18:13] – How shofar “confuses” the Satan; teshuva me’ahavah [19:32] – Why no shofar when Rosh Hashanah is on Shabbos [23:24] – Zechroinos/Yom Hazikaron – what Hashem is “remembering” [27:05] – From Rosh Hashanah to Aseres Yemei Teshuva [28:20] – What’s unique about Aseres Yemei Teshuva and beinonim [31:07] – What makes Yom Kippur so holy (kedusha) [34:06] – How Yom Kippur teshuva differs from year-round teshuva [37:18] – Bein adam lechaveiro: mechilah before Yom Kippur [42:26] – “I’m mochel everyone” – how that works [42:48] – Kol Nidrei and the power of speech [46:41] – Ne’ilah: final opportunity and special status [51:38] – After Yom Kippur: confidence and simcha [54:28] – Final message: “Ashreichem Yisrael” and closing

Every Elul, we promise ourselves that this year will be different. We’ll change, improve and leave old habits behind. So why do we so often find ourselves back in exactly the same place? In the first of this special Elul series, Mena Reisner sits down with Rabbi S. F. Zimmerman to explore what Elul and teshuvah are actually asking of us. Is Elul meant to be a time of fear or closeness? What does genuine teshuvah look like? Why is lasting change so difficult? And if we keep repeating the same mistakes year after year, does that mean our previous teshuvah failed? A practical and thought-provoking conversation about growth, failure and what Hashem really expects from us as we approach the Yamim Noraim.   Elul opportunity: Join Vayidom’s 5-minutes-a-day Shmiras Halashon cycle and submit a name for Rabbi Zimmerman’s special tefillah at the Chofetz Chaim’s kever on his yahrzeit www.vayidom.com   Time stamps: [00:00:00] – Intro & Elul Questions [00:01:55] – Elul: Melech Basadeh or Din? [00:06:40] – Elul as 30-Day Court Summons [00:12:10] – Avodah of Elul: Honest Self-Investigation [00:17:07] – Getting “Busy” in Ruchniyus: Help or Distraction? [00:21:36] – What Teshuva Really Is (Return vs Repentance) [00:26:57] – Teshuva Me’Ahava, Me’Yirah & How It Changes Sins [00:29:19] – Why We Repeat the Same Sins Every Year [00:36:36] – Is Repeated Teshuva Still Accepted? [00:45:00] – Jewish Teshuva & Turning in the Right Direction

In a world of constant appeals, how should a person approach tzedakah with clarity and integrity? This episode explores the practical and ethical tensions behind everyday giving. Is anonymous giving always ideal, or can public donations play an important communal role? Can time, effort, and influence be considered true forms of tzedakah alongside money? Where is the line between legitimate encouragement and uncomfortable pressure? The conversation also examines modern fundraising realities, from luxury dinners to reciprocal giving, and asks whether these practices enhance or undermine the values of tzedakah. Finally, what place, if any, do segulah-based donations have within a Torah framework? A grounded discussion on how to give thoughtfully when the requests never stop. Timestamps: Timestamps: 0:00:00 — Introduction/podcast purpose 0:02:26 — Core purpose of tzedakah (Torah/Gemara/Rambam) 0:10:42 — Misconceptions about tzedakah today 0:11:09–0:13:02 — Action vs. intention in giving 0:13:10–0:15:47 — Anonymous vs. public giving / communal example-setting 0:15:47–0:16:57 — Give many small gifts vs. fewer large gifts 0:16:57–0:21:07 — Time/expertise as tzedakah (including electrician example) 0:21:07–0:24:05 — Cost-saving/bulk-buy example (schools, Pesach supplies) 0:24:05–0:29:55 — Modern campaign pressures, follow-ups, appeals history 0:29:55–0:30:13 — Online campaign mechanics / raffles / “pick a number” comment 0:31:25–0:33:14 — Dinners, luxury fundraising events, and how to apportion personal benefit 0:33:14–0:35:47 — Young families & long-term pledges / cautions about pledging 0:35:47–0:37:00 — Matching campaigns and transparency/norms 0:37:00–0:39:32 — General donor motivations, reciprocity, and not over-scrutinizing 0:39:35–0:41:12 — Using prominent rabbis/roshei yeshiva to increase pressure 0:41:45–0:45:04 — Giving linked to segulot/yeshuah and authenticity of scholars 0:45:04–0:48:39 — Organizations promising yeshuah / transactional tzedakah concerns 0:48:39–0:49:40 — Closing / outro

Chazal teach that making a shidduch is as difficult as Krias Yam Suf. but what does that mean in practice for families navigating the process today? In this episode, Dayan Posen discusses the early stages of shidduchim: how parents and singles should approach the process, the role of shadchanim, and the importance of entering shidduchim with the right expectations. The conversation explores questions such as what advice parents should hear at the outset, what “realistic expectations” actually mean, whether financial considerations can justify rejecting a suitable match, and the proper guidelines for gathering and sharing information about a prospective shidduch. This is the first part of a two-part discussion on navigating the shidduch process.   Timestamps: - 0:00 Intro & episode topic (navigating shidduchim) - 0:02 Dayan Posen; why process feels more complicated - 0:03 Factors: emotions, expectations, waiting; NW London context - 0:07 Choice/market size and cultural dating models - 0:09 Torah metaphors on challenge and gratitude - 0:13 Role/value of shadchanim; success story - 0:21 Emotional toll on shadchanim; halacha/payment issues - 0:32 Parental advice: readiness; open communication - 0:37 Must/important/bonus list; expectations vs. reality - 0:44 Compatibility, age gaps, emotional approach to dating - 1:00 Info gathering: who to ask, confidentiality, trust - 1:26 Urgency differences (boys vs girls); cultural approaches - 1:36 Close & Part 2 announced; pre-dating checklist

Once a shidduch is underway, the questions only become more complex: how long should it last, how do you navigate doubts, and how do you know when it’s right? In this episode, Dayan Posen addresses the realities of the dating stage, offering guidance on timing, clarity, and decision-making. From the role of parents and outside influence to recognising genuine compatibility, the discussion tackles the pressures and uncertainties that often arise along the way. Clear, practical, and grounded, this conversation helps bring direction and perspective to the most critical stage of the process.   Timestamps: - 0:00:00 — Intro; episode context and stage of shidduch (dating begins) - 0:01:21 — Torah/Gemara basis for seeing prospective spouse; purpose of dating - 0:04:35 — Awkwardness of dating; first/second date expectations - 0:08:01 — Dating coaches: pros/cons and when helpful - 0:13:00 — Misinterpretations on dates; examples (car stereo, phone-checking) - 0:16:07 — Discussing dates with others; confidentiality and who to consult - 0:20:37 — Parental pressure vs. giving space; response etiquette after dates - 0:25:23 — Etiquette: not saying no after one date; stages/types of dates - 0:30:55 — Different date styles (fun vs. serious) and what they reveal - 0:31:32 — Number of dates before decision; 4–6 vs. many more - 0:33:32 — Why people date more now; commitment/fear issues - 0:34:56 — Influence of friends’ opinions and peer pressure - 0:37:13 — “Not my type” / personal dealbreakers vs. societal expectations - 0:40:36 — Opposites vs. similarity in personality and compatibility - 0:42:11 — Pre-marriage independence differences (girls vs. yeshiva boys) - 0:45:34 — Impact of women’s careers/stimulation on marriage dynamics - 0:49:45 — Financial considerations, living in Eretz Yisrael, parental support - 0:52:46 — Expectation to live in Eretz Yisrael after marriage; alternatives - 0:55:47 — Discussing long-term location plans during shidduch - 0:59:17 — Anecdote re: commitments and financial changes - 1:01:15 — Compromising standards as one gets older; seek experienced advice - 1:02:18 — How to know if “the right one”: her geisha ha-leiv (heart’s feeling) - 1:06:39 — Managing anxiety before committing; leap of faith - 1:07:40 — Fear of missing a better match; practical grounding - 1:09:04 — Key qualities checklist: hashkafot, middot, smile; then chemistry - 1:11:36 — Debate on asking for photos before meeting; pros/cons - 1:14:43 — Parents seeing photos vs. children; risks of judging by pictures - 1:16:37 — Stigma of working boys vs. kollel; assessing commitment - 1:20:11 — Overall summary: challenges of the shidduch process; closing prayer

As the Three Weeks give way to the Nine Days and Tisha B'Av, Jewish life changes dramatically. The music stops, celebrations become more restrained, and we begin mourning the destruction of the Beis Hamikdash. But what are we actually meant to be feeling? Why should we mourn something that happened nearly 2,000 years ago? What was truly lost, and what is the avodah of these weeks? In this episode, Rabbi Zimmerman explores the meaning behind the Three Weeks, the real definition of sinas chinam, what it means to believe in the Geulah, how to approach Tisha B'Av, and how each of us can play a part in bringing the rebuilding of the Beis Hamikdash closer. A timely and practical conversation to help transform the Three Weeks from a period we simply observe into one we genuinely understand.   Timestamps: [0:01:46]–[0:06:31] – Three Weeks as opportunity, not just restriction [0:04:40]–[0:06:31] – Halacha as a “license” to mourn and yearn for Yerushalayim [0:06:31]–[0:09:11] – Avodah when you don’t “feel” the Churban [0:09:20]–[0:11:18] – Halachic framework of aveilus enabling everyone to mourn [0:11:28]–[0:14:27] – Churban as current reality, not only history [0:14:27]–[0:20:54] – What sinas chinam really is and how to work on it [0:23:18]–[0:28:05] – Torah: beyond “how-to” — valuing Torah itself [0:28:05]–[0:35:42] – Growing necessity and role of tefillah today [0:35:42]–[0:43:43] – Belief in and daily anticipation of Geulah/Moshiach [0:43:43]–[0:50:35] – How our broken generation can still bring Geulah [0:51:00]–[0:53:46] – Purpose of the Tisha B’Av fast: teshuvah like Yom Kippur [0:53:54]–[1:00:47] – Using kinnot and modern tragedies to understand and repair [1:00:47]–[1:02:13] – Personal bakashos and their root in geulah consciousness [1:02:33]–[1:07:24] – How to approach Tisha B’Av day; the Kaddish mashal [1:08:00]–[1:11:45] – Building ahavas Yisrael by expanding the self [1:11:45]–[1:16:12] – Shabbos Nachamu and the nature of nechama [1:16:50]–[1:18:39] – Final message: mourning as immediate kirvas Hashem

Dayan Posen examines sibling rivalry through a halachic and human lens. Why do siblings compete so intensely for parental attention? How much damage does perceived favouritism cause, even years later? What should parents be careful about at the Shabbos table, around praise, or when helping children differently? And when old grievances resurface in adulthood, is reconciliation always the goal, or are boundaries sometimes healthier? A fascinating discussion on how family dynamics shape children long after they leave the home.   Timestamps: 0:00:00 — Intro / episode overview   0:02:13 — Cause of sibling rivalry explained   0:03:35 — Comparison to peer conflicts   0:03:56 — Home as safe space / jealousy effects   0:04:53 — Parents’ limited bandwidth / favoritism question   0:06:08 — Yaakov–Yosef lesson on visible favoritism   0:09:36 — Will case causing family estrangement   0:10:20 — Halachic note on wills / differentiation   0:11:44 — Emotional vs. financial harm discussion   0:12:04 — Discreet parental help vs. public recognition   0:12:31 — Question: treat children equally day-to-day?   0:13:11 — Tailored parenting  0:13:39 — One-on-one time recommendations   0:15:18 — Practical rotation / monthly outings example   0:15:46 — Anecdote about small moments mattering   0:17:19 — Sponsor acknowledgment / dedication   0:17:40 — Remarks about the dedicatee   0:18:14 — Return to topic / impact of distractions   0:19:42 — Shabbos table as educational opportunity   0:22:30 — Managing Shabbos Q&A / tailored quizzes   0:23:26 — Guests vs. prioritizing family time   0:25:12 — Balancing parents’ needs and relationship-building   0:25:42 — Value of sharing real-life stories with children   0:27:29 — Adult grievances / moving on question   0:30:37 — Mediation: misunderstandings / “filling in the dots”   0:31:15 — When to air grievances / sleep on it advice   0:32:08 — Confrontation timing / calm approach   0:32:56 — Discussing issues with parents   0:33:57 — Children questioning favoritism / letter suggestion   0:34:30 — Writing letters as therapeutic tool   0:37:31 — Letters can facilitate dialogue / validation   0:38:44 — Spouses: can help or inflame rifts   0:41:19 — Depth of sibling wounds / impact on self-worth   0:42:07 — Report-card approach: emphasize effort first   0:44:09 — Potential for healing long-standing rifts   0:44:59 — Reconciliation depends on context / toxicity caveat   0:46:19 — Closing / episode wrap-up and call for feedback

Can you leave your job and take your clients with you? If you transform your father's business, who really owns that success? When does healthy competition cross the line, and can schools or businesses actively poach staff? In this episode of Asking for a Friend, Dayan Posen explores some of the most practical and misunderstood areas of Choshen Mishpat. From employees and employers to family businesses, partnerships and competition, we examine where halacha draws the line between legitimate business practice and unfair conduct. Whether you're an employee, employer, business owner or simply interested in Torah's approach to business ethics, this episode offers practical guidance on navigating the workplace with integrity, fairness and emunah.   Timestamps: **00:00–02:10** – Intro to the podcast, new Cheish Mishpat series, and definitions of *oni ha‑mehapech* & *hasagas gevul*.   **02:38–03:47** – Core scenario: Reuven the long‑term employee vs Shimon the employer; ultimatum of partnership or leaving with clients.   **05:58–08:10** – Employee’s mindset: “I built this; I want to own something for my family.”   **08:10–10:46** – “Partner in profits” explained as **commission, not real ownership**; crop‑share analogy.   **10:46–13:22** – Pros and cons of profit‑share: good incentive but no true security or equity.   **13:22–16:54** – Leaving and taking clients: contracts, non‑compete/non‑solicit; whose clients are they?   **16:54–22:22** – Source and nature of *oni ha‑mehapech* in Chazal; being called a *rasha*; public “naming and shaming” in theory.   **23:47–29:08** – Practical application: approaching former employer’s clients, direct vs indirect; general advertising vs targeted contact.   **29:08–32:36** – WhatsApp status, circulars, email farewell messages – what’s allowed, what’s too direct.   **32:36–35:12** – Employers’ fear of training someone who later “takes the business”; possibility of halachic contracts.   **35:12–42:08** – Poaching rabbeim/teachers; *metziah* concept; Ashkenazi vs Sefardi angles; *ba’al nefesh yachmir*.   **42:08–48:02** – Fisherman/net story; when competition crosses into destroying someone’s parnassa.   **48:02–56:22** – *Hasagas gevul* today: normal competition vs wiping out a niche business; monopolies and community benefit.   **57:25–01:04:52** – Family business case: child grows parents’ business, ownership, siblings, and inheritance tensions.   **01:04:52–01:09:07** – Children asking parents about expectations; importance of written clarity in family businesses.   **01:09:07–01:13:19** – Closing hashkafa: *nasata v’nasata be’emunah*, link to learning the halachos, business as a daily arena for emunah.

In this sixth episode of Asking for a Friend, we continue the marriage series with Dayan Hool, stepping back from day-to-day scenarios to focus on the broader foundations of marriage from a Torah perspective. Building on earlier conversations, this discussion explores what a successful marriage is meant to look like and how couples can work towards it in practice. Drawing on experience, halachic insight, and real-world guidance, the episode frames marriage not as something static, but as an ongoing process of growth and intentional effort.   Timestamps: 0:00:00 - Intro / podcast opening   0:00:30 - Topic & episode context (marriage series intro)   0:02:33 - Value of non-Jewish marriage books / Torah perspective   0:05:57 - Can spouses change each other /  0:09:55 - Women's influence vs. men's  0:11:36 - Defining a successful/happy marriage  0:13:43 - Ultimate purpose of marriage / "one flesh"   0:14:44 - Practical differences between men & women  0:19:37 - Emotional harmony vs. duties; goal of marriage  0:24:54 - Duties/needs of each spouse (functional & emotional)   0:34:38 - How husbands demonstrate love / respect leads to love   0:46:12 - Specifics: gifts, clothing, spending for wife   0:49:38 - Involving spouse in life / sharing work worries   0:50:56 - Wife’s obligations to respect husband  1:05:02 - Respect in practice  1:06:44 - Role reversals / breadwinner dynamics and maintaining leadership   1:13:49 - How a wife can change husband (reframing requests vs. instructing)   1:20:58 - Final summary / ongoing Avoda, prayer, closing advice   1:23:07 - Episode closing / call for feedback and Action Items