In the debut episode of their new segment Hard Pass, co-hosts Hindi Kalmenson and Chayale Tzukernik take a critical look at the popular piece of advice: “Fake it ‘til you make it.” With their signature blend of warmth, clarity, and Torah-rooted insight, they unpack why this seemingly harmless mindset can actually create confusion, resentment, and emotional disconnection—both within ourselves and in our closest relationships. From well-meaning encouragement to “just dress up and you’ll feel better” to misguided marital guidance around pretending satisfaction, Hindi and Chayale challenge the deeper implications of inauthenticity. Instead of advocating for performance, the hosts emphasize the importance of self-awareness and genuine expression, especially in marriage. They explain how faking respect or contentment—no matter how subtly—can be felt by a spouse and ultimately erodes trust and intimacy. The key, they argue, is cultivating internal clarity first, whether with a coach or a trusted friend, so that honest communication can flow without being harsh or performative. This thoughtful conversation offers a fresh, empowering perspective on what it really means to show up authentically in our relationships.

In this episode of Hard Pass, Hindi and Chayale take on the well-meaning but often unhelpful advice: “That’s just bochur behavior—he’ll grow out of it.” While it’s true that some adjustment is natural when a man transitions from yeshiva life to marriage, the hosts explore why waiting for your husband to “mature out” of habits like staying up late, spending hours at farbrengens, or joking like he's still in the dorm isn’t always fair—or accurate. Labeling certain behaviors as “bochurish” can unintentionally dismiss core parts of your husband’s personality, culture, or values. Instead of approaching marriage with the mindset of “he’ll change eventually,” Hindi and Chayale advocate for embracing who your spouse is now. They unpack the dangers of creating a hierarchy in the relationship—where one partner sees themselves as more evolved or sophisticated—and how that mindset can erode connection and trust. With their usual warmth and insight, they offer a more empowering approach: one that values authenticity, encourages growth through acceptance, and honors the person you chose to marry—not the one you’re waiting for him to become.

In this thought-provoking Hard Pass episode, Hindi and Chayale explore the all-too-common advice given to women: “If you don’t like how your husband dresses, just dress him.” While it may come from a place of love—or social pressure—the hosts unpack the deeper message this sends and the unintended consequences it can create. From issues of control and respect to circles of ownership and individuality, they highlight why a man’s clothing choices are more than just fabric—they're tied to his autonomy and self-expression. With their signature nuance and humor, Hindi and Chayale challenge the idea that a wife should manage her husband's appearance, especially when it crosses into subtle (or not-so-subtle) disrespect. They offer healthier, more empowering alternatives rooted in acceptance, admiration, and mutual communication. If you’ve ever felt tempted to “fix” your husband’s wardrobe, this episode is your gentle—but clear—reminder to step out of his closet and into a more authentic connection.

In this candid episode of Hard Pass, Hindi and Chayale take on the oft-repeated advice: “Don’t go to sleep angry.” While the phrase may sound romantic or wise, the hosts explain why this kind of black-and-white thinking can actually backfire in real relationships. Drawing from both personal experience and the emotional realities of marriage, they reveal how forcing a resolution in the heat of exhaustion can lead to more frustration, not connection. Instead, Hindi and Chayale advocate for emotional honesty, self-awareness, and—most importantly—rest. They discuss the importance of giving yourself and your partner the space to process, recalibrate, and return to a conversation with greater clarity. With their signature blend of empathy and Torah-rooted wisdom, this episode is a gentle permission slip to press pause, go to sleep, and try again with a clearer heart and mind.

In this heartfelt and deeply inspiring episode of Your Relationshift, Hindi Kalmenson sits down with fellow Relationshift coach Michal Harel for an intimate conversation about the winding path that led her to emotional healing, spiritual renewal, and a thriving marriage. Michal opens up about her journey, from being expelled from a Bais Yaakov high school in Jerusalem to navigating single motherhood and religious disconnection in Miami. Through powerful anecdotes, she reflects on the painful lessons of her first marriage, the raw vulnerability of rebuilding her life, and the surprising moments of Divine guidance that gently steered her back toward Yiddishkeit and Chassidus. With honesty and insight, Michal shares how embracing all parts of her story, including her most challenging experiences, allowed her to rediscover her wholeness. As the conversation unfolds, Michal describes how finding the Relationshift principles gave her the language, tools, and spiritual framework to transform not only her relationship with her husband but also her sense of personal purpose. From the subtle energy of control to the power of essential value, she and Hindi explore what it means to be a co-creator in one’s life and relationships, anchored in emunah and Hashem’s design. Listeners will walk away moved by Michal’s resilience, empowered by her wisdom, and reminded that true transformation often begins with radical honesty, quiet surrender, and the courage to hold space for both the vision and the process.

In this compelling Hard Pass episode, Hindi and Chayale unpack the common piece of advice given to many women: “Always be ready for your husband.” Whether it’s about emotional availability, physical appearance, or stopping everything to prioritize his needs, the hosts explore how this mindset—though often rooted in traditional ideals—can lead to imbalance, burnout, and resentment. They challenge the assumption that devotion means self-erasure, and instead advocate for a model of marriage that honors both partners’ experiences and boundaries. With clarity and compassion, Hindi and Chayale explore the deeper dynamics at play, including the misconception that constantly serving your husband fosters peace. They share how orienting your entire life around your spouse can disrupt the natural flow of a healthy mashpia–mekabel relationship, and offer a powerful reframe: your marriage should be the priority—not one individual within it. Listeners will walk away with practical language, emotional permission, and a refreshing perspective on how mutual respect, presence, and balance can truly strengthen a relationship.

In this special episode of the Your Relationshift podcast, Hindi Kalmenson sits down with Menucha Schochet, a beloved teacher of Chassidus, high school educator, and fellow Relationshift coach. Together, they explore the powerful intersection between Tanya study and relationship coaching, uncovering how the principles of Chassidus enhance personal growth and connection. Menucha shares her journey from being a passionate teacher of Tanya to discovering how concepts like respect, compassion, and divine design profoundly deepen both her relationships with others and her service to Hashem. Through heartfelt reflections, she explains how learning to truly “see” another person, hold space without judgment, and embrace life’s challenges as part of Hashem’s loving design transforms not only our relationships but our inner world. Listeners will be inspired by Menucha’s vivid storytelling, including her favorite medrashim, personal teaching experiences, and insights from coaching sessions. She highlights the transformative power of concepts like yirah (respect and awe), rachamim (compassion), and authentic ownership, showing how these principles create deeper connection in marriage, with students, and in one’s spiritual journey. With warmth, humor, and vulnerability, this conversation offers practical wisdom for embracing life’s “jagged stones,” uncovering hidden treasures in our struggles, and ultimately building a more joyful and authentic relationship with Hashem and the people we love.

In this powerful and deeply nuanced episode of Your Relationshift, Chayale Tzukernik sits down with fellow Relationshift Coach Fraidy Gerlitzky for a heartfelt and eye-opening conversation about a hidden struggle many women face when internalizing the principles of relationship work. Together, they explore how the journey of growth—though rooted in empowerment—can sometimes lead to unintentional self-blame, perfectionism, and pressure. Fraidy shares what she’s been noticing in her own life and with clients: that when women learn to take ownership in their marriage, they can unknowingly carry the weight of the entire relationship on their shoulders, leading to a loss of self-value and an inability to receive love freely. Through relatable stories, examples, and deep Torah insight, Chayale and Fraidy guide listeners back to the foundational truth: our worth is essential and unchanging, and the love and connection in a relationship can—and must—be mutual, human, and safe. They discuss how trusting the connection isn’t about earning love through perfect behavior, but about resting in the security of unconditional love—both from Hashem and from our husbands. Whether you’re newer to Relationshift or have been on this path for a while, this conversation offers a much-needed reframing that brings immense relief, clarity, and the reminder that growth and connection can come from a place of trust, not tension.

In this deep and nuanced episode of Your Relationshift, Hindi Kalmenson and Chayale Tzukernik explore the often misunderstood concept of hard work within the feminine experience. Drawing on Chassidic teachings and personal stories, they unpack what it really means to live and create from a place of mahus—the essential state of being that is both receptive and expressive. The hosts highlight the difference between working from a place of depletion versus working from a state of alignment, showing how a woman’s true creative flow can emerge not in spite of effort, but because of it. This isn’t about hustle or burnout—it’s about intentionality, desire, and the sacred work of bringing one’s inner vision into reality. Together, Hindi and Chayale candidly reflect on their own journeys from opposite ends of the spectrum—one from over-functioning, the other from under-engaging—to discover a balanced, feminine approach to productivity. They emphasize that malchus is not about avoidance or passivity, but about meaningful creation rooted in clarity, connection, and self-trust. Whether you find yourself burnt out or unsure where to begin, this episode offers a powerful reframing of effort as something beautiful and holy, inviting women to embrace the power of conscious, values-based hard work as a deeply feminine and spiritually aligned expression.

In this powerful solo bonus episode for Shavuos, Hindi Kalmenson shares a heartfelt workshop exploring the deeper spiritual themes of the Yom Tov and their relevance to our inner lives and relationships. Drawing from Torah insights and Chassidic teachings, she weaves together the core ideas of Torah, harvest, and the story of Rus—all centered around the mystical concept of “the third way.” Hindi explains how the number three represents not just peace and harmony, but the divine purpose of creation: the synthesis of opposites to birth something entirely new. Whether it’s the giving of the Torah, the miraculous partnership behind the harvest, or the selfless love between Rus and Boaz, each points to the possibility of unity through humility and self-awareness. Hindi gently guides listeners toward applying this concept in real life—starting with the necessity of owning one’s own value. Before connection or giving can happen in a relationship, she explains, we must first become whole within ourselves. Through vivid metaphors and relatable examples (like the deeper meaning behind making supper), Hindi illustrates how true relationships—whether with a spouse, a child, or Hashem—are born not from obligation or ego, but from mutual recognition and sacred space. This episode is both a spiritual preparation for Shavuos and a timeless roadmap for building meaningful relationships from a place of wholeness and divine purpose.