Your Relationshift Podcast

1

The Outlaws

Jan 13, 2026

32:58

In this powerful episode of Your Relationshift, Hindi Kalmenson and Chayale Tzukernik tackle a deeply relatable challenge sent in by a listener: what happens when your husband seems more emotionally connected to his mother and sisters than to you? With compassion, honesty, and wisdom drawn from Torah and Chassidic teachings, they explore the emotional undercurrents of feeling sidelined in marriage, the pain it can trigger, and how this dynamic can shake a woman’s sense of value and connection. They reflect on the symbolic meaning of breaking the glass under the chuppah, highlighting the transition a man undergoes from being a receiver in his family of origin to becoming a mashpia (giver) in his new home.Rather than offering blame or simple fixes, Hindi and Chayale empower listeners to view these situations through the lens of growth, abundance, and self-awareness. They discuss how perception—how we choose to receive and interpret a mother-in-law’s presence—can shift an entire dynamic. They introduce practical tools like trusting the connection, reinforcing your essential value, and cultivating respect for the mitzvah of kibud av v’eim (honoring parents). This episode is a heartfelt invitation to look inward, embrace personal agency, and transform a place of pain into an opportunity for deepening both marriage and self.

2

Hard Pass: "Marriage is 50-50"

Dec 30, 2025

7:54

In this Hard Pass episode, Hindi and Chayale take on the well-intentioned but ultimately misleading idea that marriage should be 50/50. While the concept of equal partnership sounds fair and modern, they unpack why this mindset often leads to disappointment, resentment, and even control. From keeping score to unrealistic expectations of sameness, the hosts explain how striving for a strict 50/50 split in roles, responsibilities, or emotional investment can erode the very connection couples are trying to build.Instead, they offer a healthier, Torah-rooted alternative: each partner should bring 100% of themselves to the marriage—not just meet halfway. Hindi and Chayale explore how differences in masculine and feminine energy, parenting styles, and strengths are meant to create a flow, not a checklist. They remind us that true partnership isn’t about perfect balance—it’s about presence, appreciation, and the willingness to show up fully, even when things aren’t “even.”

3

Hard Pass: "Feed That Man"

Dec 30, 2025

4:48

In this episode of Hard Pass, Hindi and Chayale dig into the outdated and oversimplified advice: “The way to a man’s heart is through his stomach.” From the pressure to always have food cooking to the belief that feeding your husband is the key to a successful marriage, they explore how this message reduces men to basic impulses and leaves women feeling undervalued, overwhelmed, or inadequate—especially if cooking isn't their strength or passion.With their usual warmth and clarity, the hosts reframe the role of food in a relationship: nourishing your family is beautiful, but it’s not the foundation of emotional intimacy or connection. Hindi and Chayale unpack how this kind of advice can be subtly controlling, condescending, and ultimately harmful to both partners. Instead, they advocate for a more balanced, respectful view—where love isn’t earned through meals, but built through mutual understanding, communication, and genuine care.

4

Hard Pass: "Attention! Salute!"

Dec 16, 2025

11:07

In this compelling Hard Pass episode, Hindi and Chayale unpack the common piece of advice given to many women: “Always be ready for your husband.” Whether it’s about emotional availability, physical appearance, or stopping everything to prioritize his needs, the hosts explore how this mindset—though often rooted in traditional ideals—can lead to imbalance, burnout, and resentment. They challenge the assumption that devotion means self-erasure, and instead advocate for a model of marriage that honors both partners’ experiences and boundaries.With clarity and compassion, Hindi and Chayale explore the deeper dynamics at play, including the misconception that constantly serving your husband fosters peace. They share how orienting your entire life around your spouse can disrupt the natural flow of a healthy mashpia–mekabel relationship, and offer a powerful reframe: your marriage should be the priority—not one individual within it. Listeners will walk away with practical language, emotional permission, and a refreshing perspective on how mutual respect, presence, and balance can truly strengthen a relationship.

5

Hard Pass: "Bochur Behavior"

Dec 16, 2025

10:21

In this episode of Hard Pass, Hindi and Chayale take on the well-meaning but often unhelpful advice: “That’s just bochur behavior—he’ll grow out of it.” While it’s true that some adjustment is natural when a man transitions from yeshiva life to marriage, the hosts explore why waiting for your husband to “mature out” of habits like staying up late, spending hours at farbrengens, or joking like he's still in the dorm isn’t always fair—or accurate. Labeling certain behaviors as “bochurish” can unintentionally dismiss core parts of your husband’s personality, culture, or values.Instead of approaching marriage with the mindset of “he’ll change eventually,” Hindi and Chayale advocate for embracing who your spouse is now. They unpack the dangers of creating a hierarchy in the relationship—where one partner sees themselves as more evolved or sophisticated—and how that mindset can erode connection and trust. With their usual warmth and insight, they offer a more empowering approach: one that values authenticity, encourages growth through acceptance, and honors the person you chose to marry—not the one you’re waiting for him to become.

6

Hard Pass: "Dress That Man"

Dec 16, 2025

9:58

In this thought-provoking Hard Pass episode, Hindi and Chayale explore the all-too-common advice given to women: “If you don’t like how your husband dresses, just dress him.” While it may come from a place of love—or social pressure—the hosts unpack the deeper message this sends and the unintended consequences it can create. From issues of control and respect to circles of ownership and individuality, they highlight why a man’s clothing choices are more than just fabric—they're tied to his autonomy and self-expression.With their signature nuance and humor, Hindi and Chayale challenge the idea that a wife should manage her husband's appearance, especially when it crosses into subtle (or not-so-subtle) disrespect. They offer healthier, more empowering alternatives rooted in acceptance, admiration, and mutual communication. If you’ve ever felt tempted to “fix” your husband’s wardrobe, this episode is your gentle—but clear—reminder to step out of his closet and into a more authentic connection.

7

Hard Pass: "Don't You Dare Fall Asleep"

Dec 2, 2025

3:27

In this candid episode of Hard Pass, Hindi and Chayale take on the oft-repeated advice: “Don’t go to sleep angry.” While the phrase may sound romantic or wise, the hosts explain why this kind of black-and-white thinking can actually backfire in real relationships. Drawing from both personal experience and the emotional realities of marriage, they reveal how forcing a resolution in the heat of exhaustion can lead to more frustration, not connection.Instead, Hindi and Chayale advocate for emotional honesty, self-awareness, and—most importantly—rest. They discuss the importance of giving yourself and your partner the space to process, recalibrate, and return to a conversation with greater clarity. With their signature blend of empathy and Torah-rooted wisdom, this episode is a gentle permission slip to press pause, go to sleep, and try again with a clearer heart and mind.

8

Hard Pass: "Fake It 'Til You Make It"

Dec 2, 2025

6:46

In the debut episode of their new segment Hard Pass, co-hosts Hindi Kalmenson and Chayale Tzukernik take a critical look at the popular piece of advice: “Fake it ‘til you make it.” With their signature blend of warmth, clarity, and Torah-rooted insight, they unpack why this seemingly harmless mindset can actually create confusion, resentment, and emotional disconnection—both within ourselves and in our closest relationships. From well-meaning encouragement to “just dress up and you’ll feel better” to misguided marital guidance around pretending satisfaction, Hindi and Chayale challenge the deeper implications of inauthenticity.Instead of advocating for performance, the hosts emphasize the importance of self-awareness and genuine expression, especially in marriage. They explain how faking respect or contentment—no matter how subtly—can be felt by a spouse and ultimately erodes trust and intimacy. The key, they argue, is cultivating internal clarity first, whether with a coach or a trusted friend, so that honest communication can flow without being harsh or performative. This thoughtful conversation offers a fresh, empowering perspective on what it really means to show up authentically in our relationships.

9

Interview with Michal Harel

Nov 25, 2025

1:07:04

In this heartfelt and deeply inspiring episode of Your Relationshift, Hindi Kalmenson sits down with fellow Relationshift coach Michal Harel for an intimate conversation about the winding path that led her to emotional healing, spiritual renewal, and a thriving marriage. Michal opens up about her journey, from being expelled from a Bais Yaakov high school in Jerusalem to navigating single motherhood and religious disconnection in Miami. Through powerful anecdotes, she reflects on the painful lessons of her first marriage, the raw vulnerability of rebuilding her life, and the surprising moments of Divine guidance that gently steered her back toward Yiddishkeit and Chassidus. With honesty and insight, Michal shares how embracing all parts of her story, including her most challenging experiences, allowed her to rediscover her wholeness.As the conversation unfolds, Michal describes how finding the Relationshift principles gave her the language, tools, and spiritual framework to transform not only her relationship with her husband but also her sense of personal purpose. From the subtle energy of control to the power of essential value, she and Hindi explore what it means to be a co-creator in one’s life and relationships, anchored in emunah and Hashem’s design. Listeners will walk away moved by Michal’s resilience, empowered by her wisdom, and reminded that true transformation often begins with radical honesty, quiet surrender, and the courage to hold space for both the vision and the process.

10

Can Hard Work Be Feminine?

Nov 11, 2025

49:36

In this deep and nuanced episode of Your Relationshift, Hindi Kalmenson and Chayale Tzukernik explore the often misunderstood concept of hard work within the feminine experience. Drawing on Chassidic teachings and personal stories, they unpack what it really means to live and create from a place of mahus—the essential state of being that is both receptive and expressive. The hosts highlight the difference between working from a place of depletion versus working from a state of alignment, showing how a woman’s true creative flow can emerge not in spite of effort, but because of it. This isn’t about hustle or burnout—it’s about intentionality, desire, and the sacred work of bringing one’s inner vision into reality.Together, Hindi and Chayale candidly reflect on their own journeys from opposite ends of the spectrum—one from over-functioning, the other from under-engaging—to discover a balanced, feminine approach to productivity. They emphasize that malchus is not about avoidance or passivity, but about meaningful creation rooted in clarity, connection, and self-trust. Whether you find yourself burnt out or unsure where to begin, this episode offers a powerful reframing of effort as something beautiful and holy, inviting women to embrace the power of conscious, values-based hard work as a deeply feminine and spiritually aligned expression.

11

Unlearning the Pressure: A Conversation About Real Safety in Marriage

Oct 21, 2025

37:44

In this powerful and deeply nuanced episode of Your Relationshift, Chayale Tzukernik sits down with fellow Relationshift Coach Fraidy Gerlitzky for a heartfelt and eye-opening conversation about a hidden struggle many women face when internalizing the principles of relationship work. Together, they explore how the journey of growth—though rooted in empowerment—can sometimes lead to unintentional self-blame, perfectionism, and pressure. Fraidy shares what she’s been noticing in her own life and with clients: that when women learn to take ownership in their marriage, they can unknowingly carry the weight of the entire relationship on their shoulders, leading to a loss of self-value and an inability to receive love freely.Through relatable stories, examples, and deep Torah insight, Chayale and Fraidy guide listeners back to the foundational truth: our worth is essential and unchanging, and the love and connection in a relationship can—and must—be mutual, human, and safe. They discuss how trusting the connection isn’t about earning love through perfect behavior, but about resting in the security of unconditional love—both from Hashem and from our husbands. Whether you’re newer to Relationshift or have been on this path for a while, this conversation offers a much-needed reframing that brings immense relief, clarity, and the reminder that growth and connection can come from a place of trust, not tension.

12

Elul and Rosh Hashana

Sep 18, 2025

38:55

As Rosh Hashanah approaches, co-hosts Hindi Kalmenson and Chayale Tzukernik dive deep into the core relationships that shape our connection with Hashem—king and subject, parent and child, and husband and wife. Through the lens of Chassidus and their own lived experiences, they explore the theme of surrender, focusing especially on the idea of Hashem as our King. Drawing on powerful imagery from the lives of Dovid HaMelech and Shaul HaMelech, they reflect on how awe, humility, and trust are essential ingredients for entering the New Year with clarity and purpose. The discussion also touches on the deeper emotional and somatic practices that can help us internalize these spiritual concepts—like bowing in prayer or opening our hands in tefillah—as ways of embodying surrender and acceptance.In a world preoccupied with self-definition and control, this conversation brings a refreshing shift: embracing the freedom and peace that comes from letting go and trusting fully in Hashem. The co-hosts reflect on how Rosh Hashanah is a time not just for teshuvah or repair, but for affirming the most essential relationship of all—our identity as part of Hashem. With themes of divine design, feminine identity, and emotional surrender threaded throughout, this episode offers a soulful roadmap for preparing your mind and heart for the Yamim Noraim. Whether you're feeling spiritually ready or emotionally distant, this heartfelt discussion will help you realign and reconnect with the deeper meaning of the High Holidays.

13

Interview with Mushka Kesselman

Sep 11, 2025

52:04

Chayale sits down with her sister-in-law and fellow educator Mushka Kesselman as an exclusive RelationShift interview to explore the complex dynamic that arises when spouses are not aligned in their religious or Chassidic values. Drawing from her own experience as a teacher and coach, Mushka shares powerful principles that help women navigate the pain and confusion of spiritual disconnect in marriage — without judgment, blame, or pressure. The conversation emphasizes the importance of emotional space, self-responsibility, and the transformative impact of focusing on one’s own joy and connection in Yiddishkeit.Together, they delve into what it really means to support a spouse without controlling them, how Shalom Bayis is not just a value but a Torah mandate, and why honoring each other’s spiritual autonomy creates room for true connection and growth. With relatable examples, including how to handle Pesach standards or fears around chinuch when values differ, this episode offers both clarity and comfort to anyone feeling spiritually alone in their marriage. Whether you're in that space yourself or supporting someone who is, this conversation is an empowering reminder that peace, love, and divine purpose are still fully possible — even when you're not on the same page.

14

Workshop: How to glow from Within: Guest Speaker Hindi on Chayale’s Dating Workshop

Aug 26, 2025

50:36

In this special bonus episode of Your Relationshift, we’re invited into the heart of Chayale Tzukernik’s “Dating for Success” workshop, where guest speaker Hindi Kalmenson delivers an intimate, powerful session titled “How to Glow from Within.” This solo workshop, offered as part of Chayale’s transformative four-week dating course, dives into the inner work that enables women to show up to relationships with confidence, openness, and a deep connection to their essential selves. Hindi gently unpacks the internal barriers many women encounter while dating, such as fear, defensiveness, or self-doubt, and reframes them as coping mechanisms rooted in beliefs that no longer serve us. Through vivid examples, she demonstrates how self-awareness and belief work can lead to more feminine, receptive energy in relationships, helping women create genuine connection.At the heart of the conversation are two divine attributes from Chassidic teachings: Malchus (royalty) and Hod (splendor/humility), which Hindi translates into a practical blueprint for embodying inner dignity and joyful vulnerability. She encourages listeners to explore their essential wholeness and align with what truly brings them joy, reminding us that femininity is not just about how we look but about the energy we carry. Whether it’s receiving a compliment with grace, allowing someone to help with your suitcase, or expressing your desires without shame, each moment becomes an opportunity to live from a place of strength and softness. Hindi offers real-world tools for accessing these qualities: contemplating your soul’s inherent worth, identifying your inner resources, and practicing self-affirming thoughts to counter old narratives.Throughout the session, listeners are gently called to embody the kind of feminine energy that doesn’t need to be earned or performed; it’s already within. With occasional banter and supportive reflection from Chayale, the episode offers a masterclass in showing up to dating (and life) with grace, confidence, and spiritual alignment. Whether you're navigating the world of dating or simply seeking to deepen your self-worth, this episode offers a roadmap to becoming more open, receptive, and radiant, inside and out.

15

Bonus Interview with Menucha Schochet (Kol Isha)

Aug 5, 2025

57:35

In this special episode of the Your Relationshift podcast, Hindi Kalmenson sits down with Menucha Schochet, a beloved teacher of Chassidus, high school educator, and fellow Relationshift coach. Together, they explore the powerful intersection between Tanya study and relationship coaching, uncovering how the principles of Chassidus enhance personal growth and connection. Menucha shares her journey from being a passionate teacher of Tanya to discovering how concepts like respect, compassion, and divine design profoundly deepen both her relationships with others and her service to Hashem. Through heartfelt reflections, she explains how learning to truly “see” another person, hold space without judgment, and embrace life’s challenges as part of Hashem’s loving design transforms not only our relationships but our inner world.Listeners will be inspired by Menucha’s vivid storytelling, including her favorite medrashim, personal teaching experiences, and insights from coaching sessions. She highlights the transformative power of concepts like yirah (respect and awe), rachamim (compassion), and authentic ownership, showing how these principles create deeper connection in marriage, with students, and in one’s spiritual journey. With warmth, humor, and vulnerability, this conversation offers practical wisdom for embracing life’s “jagged stones,” uncovering hidden treasures in our struggles, and ultimately building a more joyful and authentic relationship with Hashem and the people we love.

16

Boundaries: Keeping The World At Arms Length

Jul 22, 2025

52:49

In this deeply resonant episode of Your Relationshift, co-hosts Hindi Kalmenson and Chayale Tzukernik explore the complex and often misunderstood concept of boundaries—reframing it through the lens of Torah values and feminine energy. Rather than viewing boundaries as defensive walls built from fear or control, they invite listeners to consider a more empowering perspective: creating a clear, internal structure rooted in self-knowledge and essential value. Through relatable anecdotes, parenting moments, and examples from Torah and Halacha, Hindi and Chayale show how true “boundaries” come from clarity—knowing who you are, what you want, and what your values are.The conversation highlights how orienting around Hashem as the true center of our existence allows us to step into our rightful place with confidence and humility. Whether discussing people-pleasing, motherhood, marriage, or the fear of being taken advantage of, the hosts guide listeners back to ownership, honesty, and abundance. If you've ever struggled to define your space or feared that honoring your own needs makes you selfish, this episode offers a powerful shift—from managing others to deeply knowing and embodying yourself.

17

Shana Rishona

Jul 8, 2025

29:31

In this heartfelt and eye-opening episode of Your Relationshift, co-hosts Hindi Kalmenson and Chayale Tzukernik take a deep dive into the realities of Shana Rishona—the first year of marriage. Drawing from personal experiences, client stories, and Torah wisdom, they explore the emotional spectrum that newlyweds often face, from blissful connection to unexpected struggle. Hindi and Chayale unpack the complexity of adjusting to a new partner, the vulnerability of building trust from scratch, and the silent pressure many women feel to present a picture-perfect start to married life—even when the inside reality feels confusing and isolating.The conversation also touches on deeply relatable themes like comparison, fear, and the unspoken anxiety around fertility timelines, highlighting how these internal tensions can amplify during the earliest stages of marriage. With warmth and honesty, Hindi and Chayale remind listeners that beginnings are objectively hard—as the Torah teaches—and that every couple’s journey is uniquely theirs. This episode is a powerful validation for anyone navigating the complexities of Shana Rishona, offering clarity, compassion, and a reminder that growth often starts in discomfort.

18

Married to the Myth

Jun 24, 2025

48:54

In this profound and honest episode of Your Relationshift, co-hosts Hindi Kalmenson and Chayale Tzukernik explore the heavy and often hidden burden of expectations in our personal lives and relationships. With clarity and compassion, they unpack how subconscious beliefs about how things should be—whether in marriage, parenting, or self-image—can lead to deep frustration and disappointment. Drawing from Torah and Tanya, the hosts illuminate the emotional and spiritual toll of unrealistic standards and offer a liberating shift: embracing human imperfection with humility and self-acceptance.Through powerful anecdotes and relatable scenarios, Hindi and Chayale challenge listeners to confront the "God complex"—the pressure to control, perfect, and perform—and instead cultivate inner peace by recognizing what is truly within our power. They offer thoughtful strategies to identify, examine, and release unrealistic expectations, creating space for authentic connection and growth. This episode is a compassionate call to reimagine what it means to be enough, to make room for real life, and to live with more gentleness—toward ourselves and those we love.

19

Bonus for Shavuous

Jun 1, 2025

21:09

In this powerful solo bonus episode for Shavuos, Hindi Kalmenson shares a heartfelt workshop exploring the deeper spiritual themes of the Yom Tov and their relevance to our inner lives and relationships. Drawing from Torah insights and Chassidic teachings, she weaves together the core ideas of Torah, harvest, and the story of Rus—all centered around the mystical concept of “the third way.” Hindi explains how the number three represents not just peace and harmony, but the divine purpose of creation: the synthesis of opposites to birth something entirely new. Whether it’s the giving of the Torah, the miraculous partnership behind the harvest, or the selfless love between Rus and Boaz, each points to the possibility of unity through humility and self-awareness.Hindi gently guides listeners toward applying this concept in real life—starting with the necessity of owning one’s own value. Before connection or giving can happen in a relationship, she explains, we must first become whole within ourselves. Through vivid metaphors and relatable examples (like the deeper meaning behind making supper), Hindi illustrates how true relationships—whether with a spouse, a child, or Hashem—are born not from obligation or ego, but from mutual recognition and sacred space. This episode is both a spiritual preparation for Shavuos and a timeless roadmap for building meaningful relationships from a place of wholeness and divine purpose.

20

Deep Listening

May 27, 2025

51:48

In this heartfelt and practical episode of Your Relationshift, co-hosts Hindi Kalmenson and Chayale Tzukernik explore the transformative power of deep listening in relationships. Drawing from Torah principles and personal experiences, they unpack what it truly means to listen—not just with our ears, but with our presence, patience, and openness. Through honest role-playing and relatable anecdotes, they reveal how internal chatter, pre-existing beliefs, and even well-intentioned reactions can block true connection. Instead, they offer insight into how a quiet, receptive stance—one that suspends judgment and ego—can pave the way for emotional intimacy and genuine understanding.The episode challenges listeners to reflect on their own listening habits and introduces deep listening not just as a skill, but as a way of being. From interactions with a spouse to exchanges with children or friends, the hosts emphasize that receptivity and space-making are core aspects of feminine energy and authentic connection. Whether you’ve struggled with feeling unheard or are realizing how often you interrupt, this conversation offers compassionate guidance and tangible steps toward creating more meaningful, grounded relationships—one quiet moment at a time.

21

S.T.O.P.

May 13, 2025

36:59

In this thoughtful and deeply relatable episode of Your Relationshift, co-hosts Hindi Kalmenson and Chayale Tzukernik unpack the emotional rollercoaster that often follows the intensity of Pesach and introduce powerful tools for navigating the quieter, introspective period of Sefiras HaOmer. Drawing from Torah wisdom and therapeutic insights, they explore the concept of regulation as a prerequisite for real self-awareness and growth. With humor, honesty, and vulnerability, they dive into what it means to transition out of survival mode and into a space where intentionality and ownership become possible. From acknowledging how dysregulation affects our ability to be present, to recognizing that sometimes the first step is simply being gentle with ourselves, this episode offers both comfort and clarity.Listeners are introduced to practical and memorable tools like the acronyms STOP, HALT, and PASTA—each offering a framework for pausing, checking in, and moving forward with compassion and purpose. Whether it's stepping into the bathroom for a moment of calm or realizing that your anger might just be hunger in disguise, Hindi and Chayale normalize the messiness of the human experience while pointing the way to growth rooted in self-honesty and divine connection. Perfect for anyone feeling overwhelmed or seeking alignment after Yom Tov, this episode is a soothing and empowering guide for getting back in the driver’s seat of your emotional and spiritual life.

22

Live with Sara Gita

Apr 15, 2025

55:58

In this profound and thought-provoking episode of Your Relationshift, hosts Hindi Kalmenson and Chayale Tzukernik are joined by a very special guest—Sara Gita Soble, the founder of Relationshift. Together, they dive deep into the complexities of feminine desire, exploring the nuanced differences between Taava (craving or lust) and Ratzon (higher will). Through the lens of Chassidic wisdom, they uncover how our desires can either be a reflection of our deepest self or a distraction imposed by external influences. The discussion touches on the interplay between Ratzon and Taanug (delight), the challenges of discerning between superficial wants and true inner calling, and the way our desires shape not only our personal lives but also our relationships and connection with Hashem.Throughout the conversation, the hosts and Sara Gita share personal anecdotes and powerful insights, offering practical guidance on how to navigate the often-messy process of understanding what we truly want. They also explore the importance of embracing abundance, how recognizing our desires can deepen our sense of self, and how women, in particular, are uniquely connected to Ratzon and Taanug as part of their spiritual identity. Whether you’ve struggled to acknowledge your own wants or have felt tension between material and spiritual aspirations, this episode provides a fresh, inspiring perspective on how to channel desire in a meaningful, intentional, and fulfilling way.

23

Preparing for Pesach

Apr 1, 2025

41:49

In this heartfelt and humorous Pesach edition of Your Relationshift, co-hosts Hindi Kalmenson and Chayale Tzukernik open up about the unique pressures and emotional complexity that come with preparing for Passover. With their signature honesty and wit, they tackle everything from Pesach pajamas and peeling vegetables to deeper questions around stress, intention, and spiritual values. Whether you're hosting, going to family, or just trying to keep up with the unspoken standards of the holiday, this episode offers a refreshingly honest look at the often-overwhelming experience many women face during this season. The hosts remind us that freedom—the theme of Pesach—also includes emotional freedom, and that begins with reclaiming your own mindset and expectations.Hindi and Chayale dive into practical and powerful tools to help you approach Pesach with more ownership, calm, and connection. They explore the dynamics of differing standards between spouses, how to deal with judgment (especially internal judgment), and the importance of curiosity, communication, and self-regulation. They also discuss how to ask for help in a way that opens up partnership instead of frustration, and how to let go of martyrdom in favor of empowerment. Whether you're knee-deep in cleaning or just starting to plan, this episode offers a compassionate, relatable, and spiritually grounded guide to shifting your experience of Pesach—from survival to meaningful celebration.

24

When The Line Gets Disconnected

Mar 18, 2025

45:44

In this episode of Your Relationshift, Hindi Kalmenson and Chayale Tzukernik dive into a pressing and deeply relatable topic—navigating phone usage in marriage. When a husband’s screen time feels excessive, it can trigger feelings of loneliness, frustration, and even resentment, especially when it seems to encroach on family time and connection. Drawing from both personal experience and their coaching expertise, Hindi and Chayale explore why common responses—like pleading, controlling, or personalizing the issue—often backfire, and instead, they offer a radically different approach. They discuss the power of shifting focus away from frustration and toward creating an inviting, engaging presence that naturally draws connection, rather than forcing it.With their signature warmth and wisdom, the hosts emphasize the importance of stepping out of a fear-based, control-driven mindset and into one of trust, empowerment, and creativity. They unpack the concept of being "the most interesting woman in the room" and explain how to cultivate an energy that makes space for a husband to engage—without pressure or resentment. Whether it's at the dinner table, in the bedroom, or during everyday interactions, this episode is a must-listen for women seeking to shift their dynamic from conflict to connection, using practical insights grounded in Torah principles and the beauty of feminine influence.

25

Mom Knows Best

Mar 4, 2025

35:11

In this thought-provoking episode of Your Relationshift, Hindi Kalmenson and Chayale Tzukernik dive into the complexities of parenting and the distinct roles that mothers and fathers play in raising children. They explore a common yet unspoken dynamic—many women feel the weight of parenting falls almost entirely on them, while their husbands are either uninvolved or perceived as not fully capable. Through personal stories and Torah insights, they challenge this belief, introducing the transformative principle that a father is just as indispensable to a child's well-being as a mother. By shifting perspectives and creating space for a husband's unique parenting style—one rooted in the masculine traits of chochma, chessed and netzach—mothers can alleviate their own burden while giving their children the security that comes from having two actively involved parents. Hindi and Chayale also unpack the deep fears that arise when a father's approach to parenting differs from a mother's structured and intuitive style. They discuss the impact of perception—how viewing a husband as incapable can subtly reinforce that reality, and how shifting that lens can create powerful change. Through humor, honesty, and real-life examples, they highlight the importance of Shalom Bayis (marital harmony) as the foundation for raising healthy, balanced children. Tune in for a paradigm-shifting conversation that will challenge, inspire, and leave you with practical takeaways for embracing your husband’s role in parenting.

26

Meet the Founder

Feb 18, 2025

29:14

In this season 2 bonus interview for the "Your Relationshift Podcast", hosts Hindi Kalmenson and Chayale Tzukernik welcome Sara Gita Soble, the founder of Relationshift and the visionary behind the 13 Principles that have transformed countless relationships and personal lives. Sara Gita shares the inspiring story of how the Relationshift model was born—from her early days as a high school teacher and kallah instructor to her transition into private coaching. She reveals how a late-night realization led to the articulation of core principles rooted in Torah and Chassidic teachings, offering not just advice but timeless truths about human connection and growth. The discussion explores how these principles, once integrated, provide a foundation for transforming not only marriages but every aspect of personal and relational well-being. Throughout the conversation, Sara Gita emphasizes the importance of embracing one's human experience with compassion and empathy, highlighting concepts like Divine Design and the profound impact of recognizing Hashem's presence in every moment of life. She also shares how feminine leadership, modeled after biblical figures like Devorah, has shaped her nurturing and empowering approach to guiding women in their personal journeys. Listeners will be captivated by the deep insights into how living by these Torah-rooted truths can create lasting change, and they'll gain a deeper understanding of how Relationshift principles foster both personal transformation and stronger, more authentic relationships.

27

Is it a Happy Birthday?

Feb 4, 2025

41:15

In this insightful first episode of season two of the "Your Relationshift" podcast, co-hosts Hindi Kalmenson and Chayale Tzukernik take on the often fraught topic of birthdays and anniversaries. Through the lens of Chassidic teachings and their relationship coaching expertise, Hindi and Chayale explore why these occasions can bring up a mix of emotions—ranging from excitement to disappointment—and how they can often feel like a "litmus test" for our relationships. From setting unrealistic expectations to grappling with our own inner turmoil about milestones, they break down the dynamics at play and explain how adopting a mindset of ownership, receptivity, and intention can transform these special days into truly meaningful experiences.Listeners will find practical strategies for shifting from a scarcity mindset to one of abundance, learning how to celebrate from a place of essential self-worth and spiritual connection. Hindi and Chayale also delve into how to approach birthdays and anniversaries in a way that strengthens marital relationships, including letting go of control, trusting your partner, and embracing the idea that every day can be a celebration of connection and growth. Packed with wisdom and practical takeaways, this episode sets the stage for a new season full of transformative insights into navigating relationships with clarity and joy.

28

Listener Feedback (Bonus)

Jan 21, 2025

7:45

In this heartwarming bonus episode of the Your Relationshift podcast, Hindi Kalmenson and Chayale Tzukernik share listener feedback and messages, highlighting how the podcast’s principles have deeply resonated and impacted lives. From shluchos to newly engaged bochurim, listeners open up about the real-life shifts they’ve experienced by applying the tools and teachings discussed in previous episodes. Whether it's navigating feelings of resentment through "Mirror Work," redefining expectations in marriage with "Trust the Connection," or addressing fear-based decision-making through the lens of "Mashpia/Mekabel," these personal stories reveal the transformative power of the podcast’s relatable and practical approach to relationships.Hindi and Chayale celebrate the courage and accountability of their listeners, who are actively applying these Torah-based principles to their daily lives. With a mix of humor, vulnerability, and heartfelt insights, the episode reflects on the beauty of shifting perspectives and embracing personal growth. As they wrap up the season, the co-hosts express their gratitude for the community they’ve built and the feedback they’ve received, promising even more thought-provoking conversations in season two. Tune in to be inspired by the stories of real people making meaningful changes and strengthening their relationships.

29

Divine‎ Design‎

Jan 11, 2025

27:21

In the powerful season finale of the "Your Relationshift" podcast, Hindi Kalmenson and Chayale Tzukernik explore the foundational principle of "Divine Design" in relationships and life. Drawing from Torah wisdom, they discuss how every detail of our lives is intentionally orchestrated by Hashem for our ultimate good - a concept rooted in Hashgacha Pratis (Divine Providence). The co-hosts delve into the profound shift that occurs when we embrace this truth, moving from a mindset of victimhood to empowerment, recognizing that life's circumstances are divinely designed to help us grow and fulfill our unique mission. Through personal insights, stories, and examples from the Torah, including the life of Yosef HaTzadik, they illustrate how trust in Hashem’s goodness can transform challenges into opportunities for connection, clarity, and purpose.Listeners are invited to reflect on where they may be resisting their reality and to explore how cultivating a relationship with Hashem can bring comfort, openness, and perspective. Hindi and Chayale share practical approaches for integrating this principle, from daily conversations with Hashem to recognizing His hand in the details of our lives. As they conclude the first season, the hosts express gratitude for their listeners and give a glimpse of the exciting new direction for season two. This heartfelt and introspective episode is a fitting finale, offering timeless wisdom and actionable steps to deepen both faith and relationships.

30

Mirror Work Examples

Dec 25, 2024

29:46

In this powerful episode of the "Your Relationshift" podcast, co-hosts Hindi Kalmenson and Chayale Tzukernik tackle the sensitive yet universal issue of expectations around a spouse's religious observance. Drawing from real-life examples and Torah-based principles, they explore the pain and tension that can arise when a wife feels her husband isn’t meeting her spiritual expectations—whether it’s attending minyan, learning, or leading a Jewish home in a specific way. Through heartfelt discussion, they share practical strategies grounded in the concept of "mirroring," guiding listeners to turn inward and reflect on their own spiritual journey before focusing on their partner's.Hindi and Chayale emphasize the importance of ownership, self-compassion, and creating space for authenticity within relationships. By shifting from judgment to admiration, they illustrate how embracing each partner's unique spiritual path can cultivate safety, trust, and deeper connection in the home. This episode not only offers a roadmap for navigating religious dynamics in marriage but also inspires a broader appreciation for the beauty of individual journeys with God. Listeners will walk away with actionable insights and a renewed perspective on creating a home filled with love, acceptance, and spiritual abundance.

31

Mirror Work

Dec 10, 2024

35:04

In this episode of the Relationshift Podcast, Hindi Kalmenson and Chayale Tzukernik explore the transformative concept of "mirror work," a principle rooted in the teachings of the Baal Shem Tov. They discuss how the negative qualities we notice in others are often reflections of unresolved aspects within ourselves, and how this awareness can inspire profound self-growth. Using the analogy of a mirror, the hosts unpack how Hashem orchestrates every interaction to guide us toward greater introspection and accountability. Through relatable examples—like receiving a triggering email from a school—Hindi demonstrates how applying this principle can shift our energy from judgment to compassion and create opportunities for personal transformation.The discussion also highlights how mirror work can improve relationships, particularly in marriage, where the dynamic is often the "biggest mirror." By taking ownership of our reactions and addressing the root of our triggers, we can foster healthier interactions and develop a more expansive sense of self. The hosts emphasize the importance of humility, honesty, and support when embarking on this journey, and they encourage listeners to reflect on their own experiences. This episode offers practical tools for cultivating a more compassionate and empowered perspective, helping us create a ripple effect of positive change within ourselves and our communities.

32

The Third Way

Nov 26, 2024

49:07

In this transformative episode of the "Your Relationshift" podcast, Hindi Kalmenson and Chayale Tzukernik dive deep into one of their most nuanced principles: "The Third Way." This groundbreaking approach to conflict resolution offers a unique alternative to the common dynamic of compromise by encouraging couples to create space for both perspectives, honor each other's values, and discover a solution that transcends both individual desires. Drawing from Torah teachings, the co-hosts unpack the components of respect—space and value—while sharing practical insights on how to open up conversations, break down defensiveness, and embrace curiosity and trust in relationships. Through role-playing exercises and relatable anecdotes, Hindi and Chayale vividly illustrate how shifting your perspective can lead to a deeper connection and the "birth" of something new and greater than either party originally imagined.Listeners will gain powerful insights into how respect and honoring oneself work hand in hand to create harmony, even in seemingly irreconcilable situations. The episode features a powerful example from Sara Gita Scheinberg’s workshops, highlighting how a wife learned to value her husband's suggestions, only to discover a creative solution that neither had initially considered. Hindi and Chayale challenge listeners to reflect on their own communication dynamics and invite them to share personal "third way" wins and challenges for discussion in future episodes. Whether you're navigating marital disagreements or looking to strengthen your ability to see and honor the best in others, this episode is packed with wisdom, practical advice, and inspiration to deepen your relationships.

33

Trust the Connection - Part 3

Nov 12, 2024

35:16

In this episode of the Your Relationshift podcast, hosts Hindi Kalmenson and Chayale Tzukernik respond to their listeners' questions. One dilemma opens the door to a deep conversation about identity, self-worth, and the essential desire for connection within marriage. Hindi and Chayale explore the common fear many women experience of being seen primarily as a mother rather than a partner. They discuss how triggers like this one can serve as indicators, guiding us to look within and understand our own unspoken needs and desires.Through practical advice and real-life examples, Hindi and Chayale emphasize the importance of "trusting the connection"—the foundational belief that a couple is inherently bonded, even in moments of doubt. They share insights on how to express desires from a place of security rather than neediness, enabling a more genuine and fulfilling connection. With compassion and humor, they encourage listeners to cultivate self-trust and a sense of ownership over their roles within the relationship, shifting the focus from seeking validation to fostering a true partnership. This episode offers a refreshing and empowering perspective on navigating the complexities of marriage while remaining rooted in self-awareness and growth.

34

Trust the Connection - Part 2

Oct 15, 2024

36:19

In this episode of the "Your Relationshift" podcast, co-hosts Hindi Kalmenson and Chayale Tzukernik dive into the powerful principle of "Trust the Connection" within relationships, offering practical techniques to strengthen emotional bonds through trust, intention, and receptivity. Hindi and Chayale emphasize how this principle is not just about blindly trusting, but rather about building a foundation of connection that emerges from working on earlier concepts like self-worth, ownership, and honesty. Using real-life examples, they discuss common relationship dynamics, such as defensiveness in communication, and demonstrate how recognizing the "Love, Care, and Intention" (LCI) behind a spouse's actions can shift interactions from disconnection to deeper understanding and closeness.Throughout the episode, they provide relatable scenarios, from a husband's offhand comment about the state of the house to suggestions about personal appearance, and show how embracing the LCI technique can transform seemingly critical moments into opportunities for growth and connection. They also explore how women can cultivate their inner strength by using their natural feminine qualities of intuition and discipline to receive love and care in healthy, constructive ways. This thoughtful discussion encourages listeners to choose the "hard" work of connection over the harder experience of disconnection, offering a roadmap to greater intimacy and harmony in their relationships.

35

Trust the Connection - Part 1

Oct 2, 2024

38:40

In this episode of the "Your Relationshift" podcast, co-hosts Hindi Kalmenson and Chayale Tzukernik delve into the essential relationship principles of trusting the connection and the power of creating with thoughts, words, and intention. Drawing inspiration from the teachings of the Torah, they explore how often we question the strength of our connections, particularly in marriage, and how this questioning can actually undermine the relationship. By choosing to trust the connection instead of constantly assessing it, a person can feel more grounded and secure. Hindi and Chayale emphasize the importance of focusing on the commitment that already exists, rather than searching for external proof of connection. They share insights from their own experiences, reminding listeners that connection is built on trust and commitment, even in the small, everyday acts that are often overlooked.The hosts also introduce the powerful concept of how we create with our thoughts, words, and intentions. In a relationship, what we choose to focus on grows, and by intentionally nurturing positive thoughts and recognizing the existing commitment, we can enhance and expand the connection. The episode is filled with practical examples and thought-provoking questions, encouraging listeners to reflect on their own relationships. Hindi and Chayale's heartfelt conversation serves as a guide to fostering deeper connections and embracing a more empowered role in relationships, rooted in trust and intentional creation.

36

Abundance

Sep 17, 2024

32:54

In this episode of the Your Relationshift podcast, co-hosts Hindi Kalmenson and Chayale Tzukernik explore the powerful principle of abundance and how shifting from a mindset of limitation to one of abundance can transform every aspect of life. They discuss how abundance manifests spiritually, emotionally, and materially, and highlight how celebrating the abundance already present in our lives opens up even more possibilities. Drawing from personal stories, Hindi and Chayale delve into how viewing life through a lens of abundance creates greater openness to opportunities, fostering deeper appreciation and gratitude for what is, instead of focusing on what's missing.They also discuss the impact of an abundance mindset on relationships, including how this shift can reshape the way we experience love, using the example of the Five Love Languages. Chayale beautifully illustrates how embracing a broader view of love, beyond narrow definitions, allows us to recognize deeper forms of connection, such as commitment, that often go unnoticed. Together, Hindi and Chayale offer thought-provoking insights on how a mindset of abundance invites us to fully embrace the present, fostering a more fulfilling and expansive approach to life and relationships.

37

Mashpia / Mekabel Part 3

Sep 3, 2024

54:56

In this engaging episode of the "Your Relationshift" podcast, co-hosts Hindi Kalmenson and Chayale Tzukernik delve into the complexities of the Mashpia-Mekabel dynamic within relationships, particularly how women can unknowingly disrupt the natural flow of giving and receiving. Through the lens of real-life scenarios, the hosts explore how well-intentioned actions like nurturing, correcting, or even disapproving can unintentionally stifle a husband's ability to step into his role as a provider, leading to feelings of frustration and disconnection. Hindi and Chayale thoughtfully discuss how these behaviors often stem from deep-seated fears or insecurities, offering listeners practical advice on how to shift their approach to create a healthier, more balanced dynamic in their marriages.Listeners are encouraged to recognize the subtle ways they may be overstepping boundaries, such as through constant correction or by taking on too much responsibility, and to consider the impact these actions have on their relationships. By learning to trust, respect, and give space to their husbands, women can foster a more harmonious and fulfilling partnership. This episode offers profound insights into the importance of self-awareness and the power of trust in creating a thriving marital dynamic, making it a must-listen for anyone looking to deepen their understanding of their role within their relationship.

38

Mashpia / Mekabel Part 2

Aug 20, 2024

36:27

In this episode of the "Your Relationshift" podcast, Hindi Kalmenson and Chayale Tzukernik explore the complex dynamics that women often face in their personal lives, focusing on the themes of fear, martyrdom, entitlement, and the pursuit of true femininity. They discuss how these mindsets can hinder a woman's ability to be receptive, find joy, and live authentically. The conversation delves into how the societal expectations placed on women can lead them to either adopt a martyrdom mentality—where they sacrifice themselves for others—or swing to the opposite extreme of entitlement, where they feel compelled to assert their rights forcefully. Both approaches, they argue, stem from a misunderstanding of true femininity and the divine energy known as "Hod," which encompasses humility, acknowledgment, and splendor.Through personal anecdotes and deep reflections, Hindi and Chayale unpack the significance of cultivating humility and gratitude as pathways to reclaiming a more balanced, joyful, and authentic feminine energy. They emphasize the importance of self-awareness, experimenting with what brings true joy, and recognizing the gifts and support that come from others and from G-d. By embracing these principles, women can move away from unhealthy extremes and step into a more empowered and harmonious state of being, where they can truly shine. This episode offers valuable insights for women seeking to break free from limiting beliefs and cultivate a more vibrant, spiritually aligned life.

39

Mashpia / Mekabel Part 1

Aug 6, 2024

54:30

In this enlightening episode of the "Your Relationshift" podcast, co-hosts Hindi Kalmenson and Chaya Tzukernik (Chayale) delve into the profound dynamics of "Mashpia" (giver) and "Makabel" (receiver) within relationships. This fundamental concept, rooted deeply in Torah principles, offers a framework for understanding the natural energies of masculinity and femininity. Hindi and Chayale explore the societal baggage and preconceived notions that often cloud these roles, urging listeners to approach the topic with an open mind. They emphasize the importance of viewing masculinity and femininity not as rigid gender roles but as dynamic energies that both men and women can embody.Throughout the episode, Hindi and Chayale share personal anecdotes and insights, addressing the misconceptions around femininity and how it can often be misunderstood as weakness or passivity. They highlight the significance of being a "Makabel" and the active strength it requires to trust, be open, and receive. By drawing from Kabbalistic teachings and real-life applications, the hosts guide listeners on how to embrace their natural energies, fostering healthier and more balanced relationships. This episode sets the stage for a deeper exploration into the roles of Mashpia and Makabel, with even more details coming in the next episode.

40

Essential Value

Jul 23, 2024

56:43

In this episode of the "Your Relationshift" podcast, co-hosts Hindi and Chayale delve into the profound concept of essential value. They discuss how this principle, rooted in Chassidic teachings, asserts that every person's value is inherent and unchanging, independent of external achievements or validations. Hindi and Chayale explore how this understanding contrasts with societal norms that often tie self-worth to success and performance. They emphasize the importance of recognizing and internalizing that one's value is derived from the divine gift of a soul, a core tenet that can transform personal identity and relationships.Through engaging conversation and personal anecdotes, Hindi and Chayale illustrate practical ways to integrate this principle into daily life. They highlight the impact of essential value on reducing defensiveness, enhancing openness, and fostering healthier, more genuine connections. The episode also touches on the interplay between essential value and other principles like ownership, suggesting that embracing one's inherent worth can lead to more authentic and empowered living. This episode offers listeners insightful guidance on embracing their intrinsic value and reflecting this understanding in their interactions with others.

41

Taking Ownership

Jul 9, 2024

46:39

In this conversation, Hindi and Chayale discuss the concept of ownership in relationships. They define relationship as a lifestyle that requires radical trust and deep connection. The second principle they explore is taking full ownership of oneself and the impact one has on the relationship. They emphasize the importance of self-regulation, exploring one's thoughts and beliefs, and taking care of one's physical, emotional, and spiritual well-being. They provide practical examples of how to apply ownership in daily life and highlight the power of awareness and consciousness in creating fulfilling relationships. In this conversation, the hosts discuss the principle of taking ownership and its practical application in various aspects of life. They emphasize the importance of experiencing it firsthand and not just dismissing it as superficial. They also highlight the need for education and guidance in understanding and implementing ownership in relationships and perspectives. The conversation concludes with a preview of the next principle to be discussed.

42

Welcome to Your Relationshift: Get to Know Hindi and Chayale

Jun 13, 2024

4:13

In this introductory episode of the Your Relationshift podcast, co-hosts Hindi Kalmenson and Chayale Tzukernik warmly welcome listeners and share their personal journeys to becoming relationship coaches. Chayale, originally from South Africa and now living in Crown Heights, Brooklyn, recounts how meeting Sara Gita and experiencing her supportive coaching inspired her to join the coach training program. Hindi, from Los Angeles, reflects on her transition from teaching to coaching during a challenging period in her life, emphasizing the profound impact of self-work and spiritual guidance on her journey.Both hosts express their gratitude for the transformative experiences they've had and their enthusiasm for sharing this wisdom with others. They invite listeners to join their conversations, explore Torah's perspective on relationships, and engage with them through feedback and questions. Tune in to discover the beauty and depth of relationships through the lens of Chassidic teachings.