Resources: ⁠Join the Shana Rishona Challenge on WhatsApp⁠⁠Check out the First Year Married Course 💞 Shana Rishona Challenge Day 2: Get Some Oxygen! 💞 Think about your young marriage like a preemie. Why do we put these tiny babies into incubators? We want to protect them from germs and we want to make sure they get high-quality oxygen. Your new marriage needs the same. It needs protection from germs. While most people immediately jump to boundaries and in-laws, the primary issue I've been seeing is BUSYNESS. Being too distracted or busy or stressed to give your marriage the attention it deserves is a germ. (Once your marriage is a nice strong, healthy kid--which doesn't mean you've been married a long time, it means you've actually DONE THE WORK--you'll be able to weather busy seasons without catching those germs.) But yes, unhealthy relationships or enmeshed relationships can also be germs. If you're turning to your girlfriends for emotional support and NEVER turning to your husband, make sure those girlfriend relationships are healthy and appropriate for this stage of life. If your mother wants to hear every detail about how you're adjusting to being a wife, it's time to get some incubator protection (this is NOT a ticket to cut your family members out of your life--just to be more conscientious about where the those conversations are going). What's the oxygen? The oxygen is paint night. The oxygen is figuring out his favorite dinner and actually making it. The oxygen is learning his Myers Briggs, Enneagram, DISC type, soul type, and love language (or just one of those unless you're a geek on this stuff like me!) so you can learn how to work with his nature and think outside the box of how you've always thought things should be done. Oxygen is a love note written with whiteboard marker on the bathroom mirror, a hot coffee delivery to the bedroom, or simply being present to give him a smile and your attention at the end of the day. In Class 2 of the First Year Married course, I teach you how to design a shana rishona that is nourishing to your marriage AND to you. Start today with some oxygen.

💞 Shana Rishona Challenge Day 6: What Do You Need? Have you ever wished your husband would get you a drink/tell you to get some sleep/bring you something to eat so that you could feel like he really cared? Good. That's what you're supposed to feel like during shana rishona. At the beginning of a marriage (I'm talking the first decade), it's about her feeling totally secure that she's a priority. And it's about him learning how to make her a priority. Where we get stuck is when we forget that we actually can go get ourselves something to eat 🥪, a glass of water 🥤, and put ourselves to bed 🛌🏻. Because we are smart, grown women who know how to do these things. 💪 What happens next? She's hangry and whining that he doesn't care and he's honestly not really sure what just happened. 😣😳 It's funny now but it's not funny in the moment! One of the best ways to invest in your marriage is to invest in YOURSELF. YES, you want acts of love from him, but they don't need to be for your basic functioning. You don't have to be drowning for him to show he cares. The damsel in distress is so not a Jewish thing. Today's challenge is a fun one: do something for you! Resources:Class 6 in FYM is about Self Care-designing a life for yourself that you love despite all the changes of shana rishona. Check it out at kaylalevin.com/newlywedWant to be part of the WhatsApp challenge? Join us at bit.ly/4shalom

💞 Shana Rishona Challenge Day 6: What Do You Need? Have you ever wished your husband would get you a drink/tell you to get some sleep/bring you something to eat so that you could feel like he really cared? Good. That's what you're supposed to feel like during shana rishona. At the beginning of a marriage (I'm talking the first decade), it's about her feeling totally secure that she's a priority. And it's about him learning how to make her a priority. Where we get stuck is when we forget that we actually can go get ourselves something to eat 🥪, a glass of water 🥤, and put ourselves to bed 🛌🏻. Because we are smart, grown women who know how to do these things. 💪 What happens next? She's hangry and whining that he doesn't care and he's honestly not really sure what just happened. 😣😳 It's funny now but it's not funny in the moment! One of the best ways to invest in your marriage is to invest in YOURSELF. YES, you want acts of love from him, but they don't need to be for your basic functioning. You don't have to be drowning for him to show he cares. The damsel in distress is so not a Jewish thing. Today's challenge is a fun one: do something for you! Resources:Class 6 in FYM is about Self Care-designing a life for yourself that you love despite all the changes of shana rishona. Check it out at kaylalevin.com/newlywedWant to be part of the WhatsApp challenge? Join us at bit.ly/4shalom

💞 Shana Rishona Challenge Day 5: The Male Mind & You I feel like I could talk for a year about the male mind and not lose interest. If I could go back and talk to MYSELF as a newlywed, this is what I'd share with her first: Listen to what he's saying. I don't mean listen to what he seems to be saying. Or listen to what he's implying. Or listen to what he means. I mean the actual words. Men are refreshingly, amazingly, brilliantly direct. I can't tell you how many times a woman I was coaching was telling me about the disapproval/frustration/judgment she was getting from her husband. When I asked her for the actual WORDS he said, she paused. And thought. And asked, "wait... do you think he really meant... what he was saying?" He did. Phew. 😅 💬 Your challenge today: Listen to the actual words. If you think he means more than he's saying, just ask. He'll tell you. It's such a treat to be married to a man! ➡ Class 4 is a deep dive into what makes your brains tick differently--PLUS an entire Communication Masterclass--waiting for you inside (along with a chance to say goodbye to misunderstandings, unnecessarily hurt feelings, and missed opportunities). Have you joined us? kaylalevin.com/newlywed Resources:Want to be part of the WhatsApp challenge? Join us at ⁠bit.ly/4shalom Episode 179 Purim Your Brain Episode 143 Purim Thoughts Episode 65 Purim - He's not a reflection of you

Shana Rishona Challenge Day 4: A Day in Unconditional Unconditional love, by definition, is loving someone when they're not meeting your conditions. Loving someone who's doing it all "right" is easy. Unconditional love can ONLY be practiced when he's not doing what you wanted or expected. Sometimes the answer IS more communication or understanding. And sometimes it's deciding--this is the part where I practice unconditional love. That's your challenge for today: choose one area where he's a bit outside of your conditions--the part that's not so easy to love. And focus on letting it go and loving him anyway. Just for today. Resources:Class 4 in First Year Married covers Intimacy--both emotional and physical. To go deeper, check it out at kaylalevin.com/newlywedWant to be part of the WhatsApp challenge? Join us at bit.ly/4shalom

Resources: ⁠⁠Join the Shana Rishona Challenge on WhatsApp⁠⁠⁠⁠Check out the First Year Married Course 💞 Shana Rishona Challenge Day 3: Your Values Audit! Today I'm talking about values, especially when you feel your husband isn't exactly living up to the values in some (large or small) way. We can often get so stuck in feeling we either have to "accept" what he's doing or figure out a way to change him. I want you to know there's a third way. You go straight to the value. Is tefilah important to you? Great. Live it. Focus on YOUR davening. Get a chevrusah and study the meaning in depth. Value HIS davening--even if it isn't happening quite how you thought it would--not so your positivity will "train" him to want to daven more, but because it's a value you want in your home. This week's challenge is to look that the values that you want in your home--yes, even the ones you feel you or he aren't doing so great with--and step back and consider what's the best way to create an environment that nurtures those values?

Want to make ANY changes in your life or relationship? The first step is self-awareness. No, I don't mean you need to go meditate on a grassy hill. You need to know what's driving you. What you're thinking. What's that inner monologue going through your head all day--and where's it taking you? Today I'm talking about the basics of getting yourself from self-centered (our default state) to self-aware. PS Are you joining us for the next First Year Married course? Register now at kaylalevin.com/newlywed or get on the waitlist for our next round!Married longer? Check out my advanced monthly coaching group, How to Glow at kaylalevin.com/coaching

Shana Rishona Challenge Day 7: Communication Upgrade It wasn't easy for me to pick which communication hack to use, but yesterday someone told me that after DECADES of marriage, this tool gave her a new insight into her husband. That's enough HP for me. Here's the idea: women talk back-and-forth. We interrupt to show we get it. We finish each other's sentences. Men don't. Men talk until the idea is finished. If they see they won't get to finish the idea, they might not bother to start it. It's tricky, because when he IS talking, we might feel disengaged--after all, we're not used to being so passive. On the other hand, we might not know he even HAS much to say, because he's never really had the chance. So here's your challenge today: at some point today, listen to your husband AD HA SOF. Until he's done. No interruptions, agreements, disagreements, sentence-finishers, "here's what you're probably trying to say"s. Enjoy the gift of seeing more and more of him. The full Communication Masterclass (basically a course in and of itself) is inside the First Year Married program. Check it out at kaylalevin.com/newlywed Looking for more support? Book a call to learn more about private coaching availability.