Popular Shows by Kayla Levin קיילה לווין
230 episodes
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Name
Release Date
Duration
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Ep. 215 - The SRC Day 7 - Communication Upgrade
Ep. 215 - The SRC Day 7 - Communication Upgrade
Mar 19, 2025
12:22
Shana Rishona Challenge Day 7: Communication Upgrade It wasn't easy for me to pick which communication hack to use, but yesterday someone told me that after DECADES of marriage, this tool gave her a new insight into her husband. That's enough HP for me. Here's the idea: women talk back-and-forth. We interrupt to show we get it. We finish each other's sentences. Men don't. Men talk until the idea is finished. If they see they won't get to finish the idea, they might not bother to start it. It's tricky, because when he IS talking, we might feel disengaged--after all, we're not used to being so passive. On the other hand, we might not know he even HAS much to say, because he's never really had the chance. So here's your challenge today: at some point today, listen to your husband AD HA SOF. Until he's done. No interruptions, agreements, disagreements, sentence-finishers, "here's what you're probably trying to say"s. Enjoy the gift of seeing more and more of him. The full Communication Masterclass (basically a course in and of itself) is inside the First Year Married program. Check it out at kaylalevin.com/newlywed Looking for more support? Book a call to learn more about private coaching availability.
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Ep. 206 - From Self Centered to Self Aware (Three Ways to Maximize Shana Rishona Part 3)
Ep. 206 - From Self Centered to Self Aware (Three Ways to Maximize Shana Rishona Part 3)
Nov 28, 2024
19:24
Want to make ANY changes in your life or relationship? The first step is self-awareness. No, I don't mean you need to go meditate on a grassy hill. You need to know what's driving you. What you're thinking. What's that inner monologue going through your head all day--and where's it taking you? Today I'm talking about the basics of getting yourself from self-centered (our default state) to self-aware. PS Are you joining us for the next First Year Married course? Register now at kaylalevin.com/newlywed or get on the waitlist for our next round!Married longer? Check out my advanced monthly coaching group, How to Glow at kaylalevin.com/coaching
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Ep. 207 - Shana Rishona is All the Things with Mushka Gopin, host of the Shana Rishona Summit
Ep. 207 - Shana Rishona is All the Things with Mushka Gopin, host of the Shana Rishona Summit
Jan 20, 2025
25:25
Mushka and I share a soapbox today about the need to widen our focus when we support women in shana rishona. Her upcoming summit does exactly that (and I hope I do the same in my online course!) and so I'm thrilled you'll get a behind-the-scenes peek into what she's offering THIS WEEK. Important links for you: Register for FREE for the Shana Rishona Summit Reach out to me on WhatsApp to tell me what your takeaways from the summit are! Get on the wait list for The First Year Married course (our next round is after Pesach, so definitely start with the summit while you're waiting!)
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Ep. 208 - Appreciation vs. Flattery
Ep. 208 - Appreciation vs. Flattery
Feb 13, 2025
17:28
If it sometimes feels strange to "give points" or "be positive" or all those other marriage tricks we're told are so vital to seeing the best in our husbands, I might have a solution for you. ---Want to make the most of shana rishona? Join the hundreds of women who are reaching for the top of what marriage can offer by learning the skills that make relationships THRIVE. Registration is open now! kaylalevin.com/newlywed
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Ep. 209 - The Shana Rishona Challenge Day 1
Ep. 209 - The Shana Rishona Challenge Day 1
Mar 4, 2025
5:18
In this episode Kayla introduces the Shana Rishona challenge, inspired by her First Year Married course. Kayla emphasizes the importance of cultivating 'newlywed energy' regardless of how long you've been married. She shares her recent experience of balancing family needs while revamping her marriage course and explains the purpose of the eight-day Shalom for Shalom challenge. Resources: Join the Shana Rishona Challenge on WhatsAppCheck out the First Year Married Course 00:00 Introduction to the Shana Rishona Challenge00:29 Personal Story and Inspiration01:04 Details of the Shalom Challenge02:04 Challenge Structure and Benefits03:17 Day One Challenge: What's Your Story?04:29 Course Information and Conclusion
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Ep. 210 - The SRC Day 2 - Get Some Oxygen!
Ep. 210 - The SRC Day 2 - Get Some Oxygen!
Mar 5, 2025
2:32
Resources: Join the Shana Rishona Challenge on WhatsAppCheck out the First Year Married Course 💞 Shana Rishona Challenge Day 2: Get Some Oxygen! 💞 Think about your young marriage like a preemie. Why do we put these tiny babies into incubators? We want to protect them from germs and we want to make sure they get high-quality oxygen. Your new marriage needs the same. It needs protection from germs. While most people immediately jump to boundaries and in-laws, the primary issue I've been seeing is BUSYNESS. Being too distracted or busy or stressed to give your marriage the attention it deserves is a germ. (Once your marriage is a nice strong, healthy kid--which doesn't mean you've been married a long time, it means you've actually DONE THE WORK--you'll be able to weather busy seasons without catching those germs.) But yes, unhealthy relationships or enmeshed relationships can also be germs. If you're turning to your girlfriends for emotional support and NEVER turning to your husband, make sure those girlfriend relationships are healthy and appropriate for this stage of life. If your mother wants to hear every detail about how you're adjusting to being a wife, it's time to get some incubator protection (this is NOT a ticket to cut your family members out of your life--just to be more conscientious about where the those conversations are going). What's the oxygen? The oxygen is paint night. The oxygen is figuring out his favorite dinner and actually making it. The oxygen is learning his Myers Briggs, Enneagram, DISC type, soul type, and love language (or just one of those unless you're a geek on this stuff like me!) so you can learn how to work with his nature and think outside the box of how you've always thought things should be done. Oxygen is a love note written with whiteboard marker on the bathroom mirror, a hot coffee delivery to the bedroom, or simply being present to give him a smile and your attention at the end of the day. In Class 2 of the First Year Married course, I teach you how to design a shana rishona that is nourishing to your marriage AND to you. Start today with some oxygen.
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Ep. 211 - The SRC Day 3 - Your Values Audit
Ep. 211 - The SRC Day 3 - Your Values Audit
Mar 6, 2025
12:20
Resources: Join the Shana Rishona Challenge on WhatsAppCheck out the First Year Married Course 💞 Shana Rishona Challenge Day 3: Your Values Audit! Today I'm talking about values, especially when you feel your husband isn't exactly living up to the values in some (large or small) way. We can often get so stuck in feeling we either have to "accept" what he's doing or figure out a way to change him. I want you to know there's a third way. You go straight to the value. Is tefilah important to you? Great. Live it. Focus on YOUR davening. Get a chevrusah and study the meaning in depth. Value HIS davening--even if it isn't happening quite how you thought it would--not so your positivity will "train" him to want to daven more, but because it's a value you want in your home. This week's challenge is to look that the values that you want in your home--yes, even the ones you feel you or he aren't doing so great with--and step back and consider what's the best way to create an environment that nurtures those values?
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Ep. 212 - The SRC Day 4 - A Day In Unconditional
Ep. 212 - The SRC Day 4 - A Day In Unconditional
Mar 9, 2025
5:42
Shana Rishona Challenge Day 4: A Day in Unconditional Unconditional love, by definition, is loving someone when they're not meeting your conditions. Loving someone who's doing it all "right" is easy. Unconditional love can ONLY be practiced when he's not doing what you wanted or expected. Sometimes the answer IS more communication or understanding. And sometimes it's deciding--this is the part where I practice unconditional love. That's your challenge for today: choose one area where he's a bit outside of your conditions--the part that's not so easy to love. And focus on letting it go and loving him anyway. Just for today. Resources:Class 4 in First Year Married covers Intimacy--both emotional and physical. To go deeper, check it out at kaylalevin.com/newlywedWant to be part of the WhatsApp challenge? Join us at bit.ly/4shalom
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Ep. 213 - The SRC Day 5 - The Male Mind & You
Ep. 213 - The SRC Day 5 - The Male Mind & You
Mar 10, 2025
3:18
💞 Shana Rishona Challenge Day 5: The Male Mind & You I feel like I could talk for a year about the male mind and not lose interest. If I could go back and talk to MYSELF as a newlywed, this is what I'd share with her first: Listen to what he's saying. I don't mean listen to what he seems to be saying. Or listen to what he's implying. Or listen to what he means. I mean the actual words. Men are refreshingly, amazingly, brilliantly direct. I can't tell you how many times a woman I was coaching was telling me about the disapproval/frustration/judgment she was getting from her husband. When I asked her for the actual WORDS he said, she paused. And thought. And asked, "wait... do you think he really meant... what he was saying?" He did. Phew. 😅 💬 Your challenge today: Listen to the actual words. If you think he means more than he's saying, just ask. He'll tell you. It's such a treat to be married to a man! ➡ Class 4 is a deep dive into what makes your brains tick differently--PLUS an entire Communication Masterclass--waiting for you inside (along with a chance to say goodbye to misunderstandings, unnecessarily hurt feelings, and missed opportunities). Have you joined us? kaylalevin.com/newlywed Resources:Want to be part of the WhatsApp challenge? Join us at bit.ly/4shalom Episode 179 Purim Your Brain Episode 143 Purim Thoughts Episode 65 Purim - He's not a reflection of you
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Ep. 214. The SRC Day 6: What Do You Need?
Ep. 214. The SRC Day 6: What Do You Need?
Mar 11, 2025
3:47
💞 Shana Rishona Challenge Day 6: What Do You Need? Have you ever wished your husband would get you a drink/tell you to get some sleep/bring you something to eat so that you could feel like he really cared? Good. That's what you're supposed to feel like during shana rishona. At the beginning of a marriage (I'm talking the first decade), it's about her feeling totally secure that she's a priority. And it's about him learning how to make her a priority. Where we get stuck is when we forget that we actually can go get ourselves something to eat 🥪, a glass of water 🥤, and put ourselves to bed 🛌🏻. Because we are smart, grown women who know how to do these things. 💪 What happens next? She's hangry and whining that he doesn't care and he's honestly not really sure what just happened. 😣😳 It's funny now but it's not funny in the moment! One of the best ways to invest in your marriage is to invest in YOURSELF. YES, you want acts of love from him, but they don't need to be for your basic functioning. You don't have to be drowning for him to show he cares. The damsel in distress is so not a Jewish thing. Today's challenge is a fun one: do something for you! Resources:Class 6 in FYM is about Self Care-designing a life for yourself that you love despite all the changes of shana rishona. Check it out at kaylalevin.com/newlywedWant to be part of the WhatsApp challenge? Join us at bit.ly/4shalom
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Ep. 214 - The SRC Day 6 - What Do You Need?
Ep. 214 - The SRC Day 6 - What Do You Need?
Mar 19, 2025
3:47
💞 Shana Rishona Challenge Day 6: What Do You Need? Have you ever wished your husband would get you a drink/tell you to get some sleep/bring you something to eat so that you could feel like he really cared? Good. That's what you're supposed to feel like during shana rishona. At the beginning of a marriage (I'm talking the first decade), it's about her feeling totally secure that she's a priority. And it's about him learning how to make her a priority. Where we get stuck is when we forget that we actually can go get ourselves something to eat 🥪, a glass of water 🥤, and put ourselves to bed 🛌🏻. Because we are smart, grown women who know how to do these things. 💪 What happens next? She's hangry and whining that he doesn't care and he's honestly not really sure what just happened. 😣😳 It's funny now but it's not funny in the moment! One of the best ways to invest in your marriage is to invest in YOURSELF. YES, you want acts of love from him, but they don't need to be for your basic functioning. You don't have to be drowning for him to show he cares. The damsel in distress is so not a Jewish thing. Today's challenge is a fun one: do something for you! Resources:Class 6 in FYM is about Self Care-designing a life for yourself that you love despite all the changes of shana rishona. Check it out at kaylalevin.com/newlywedWant to be part of the WhatsApp challenge? Join us at bit.ly/4shalom
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Ep. 205 - No Training, He's Not a Puppy (Three Ways to Maximize Shana Rishona Part 2)
Ep. 205 - No Training, He's Not a Puppy (Three Ways to Maximize Shana Rishona Part 2)
Nov 21, 2024
13:49
Today I'm sharing with you one of my PET PEEVES that I hear all over--even from those I admire and respect greatly--and that is talking about your husband like he's a puppy that needs "training." In today's episode I'm going to try to onboard you onto my mission to step away from this mindset by explaining to you the unintended consequences of this way of talking. I hope you find it convincing! :) If this episode spoke to you, I'd love to have you join me in my next round of First Year Married! Get all the details and sign up at kaylalevin.com/newlywed See you inside!
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Ep. 216 - The SRC Day 8 - In-Laws Love
Ep. 216 - The SRC Day 8 - In-Laws Love
Mar 20, 2025
13:02
A good relationship with your in-laws is possible—even if it doesn’t always feel that way. In this episode, we’re tackling one of the most common struggles I hear from newlyweds: feeling criticized or undermined by their mother-in-law. But what if the issue isn’t confidence, boundaries, or even her intentions? What if the key is simply allowing yourself to be new at this? I’ll walk you through a mindset shift that transforms interactions with your MIL from stressful to supportive—so you can embrace her advice (or let it roll off your back) with ease. This is the final day of the Shana Rishona Challenge—let’s finish strong! 🎉 Resources:Join our Shalom Challenge on WhatsApp to find out when the next challenge comes out: bit.ly/4shalomCheck out the First Year Married course, open now! kaylalevin.com/newlywedLooking for more? I have a few spots open for private coaching. Maybe one of them is yours. Book a free consult call with me and let's find out! kaylalevin.com/coaching
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Ep. 217 - The Peace of the River
Ep. 217 - The Peace of the River
Mar 27, 2025
24:56
In this week's episode I'm discussing Rav Aharon Feldman's book, The River, the Kettle, and the Bird and how we can use the concept of the peace of the river to create a foundation for growth and connection in our marriages. Resources: The First Year Married Course: kaylalevin.com/newlywed The Glow Community (limited time offer: get the FYM course included when you join the annual subscription!) kaylalevin.com/coaching Reach out for private coaching at kaylalevin.com Don't forget to send in your questions for next week's PESACH episode!! Have an awesome week!
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Ep. 218 - Your Pesach Challenges
Ep. 218 - Your Pesach Challenges
Apr 3, 2025
22:18
In this episode, we’re diving into the challenges you sent in that come up around Pesach—navigating in-law dynamics and family expectationscoming to an agreement over budgeting for yom tov clothes finding time to actually connect with your husband amidst all the chaosmanaging less-than-comfortable yuntif arrangements I’ll walk you through how to prioritize your relationship even when things feel hectic, why quality matters more than quantity, and how to start thinking long-term when it comes to family harmony. You’ll also hear some practical tips and a gentle reminder that your version of a successful Pesach might look different—and that’s okay. Mentioned in this episode: 📞 Looking for more support? Sign up for a free consult with Kayla: https://kaylalevin.com🎓 First Year Married course: https://kaylalevin.com/newlywed🎙️ Episode on improving your relationship with your mother-in-law:https://www.kaylalevin.com/post/ep-147-a-better-relationship-with-your-mother-in-law-with-rachel-glasser
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Ep. 219 - We're All a Package Deal
Ep. 219 - We're All a Package Deal
Apr 24, 2025
22:17
When you got married, you didn’t just marry him—you married his personality, his family, his past experiences… the whole package. In this episode, we’re unpacking what it really means to accept our spouses (and in-laws!) as a package deal, and how to shift from frustration to curiosity when things feel hard.You'll learn:Why every middah (character trait) comes with its own pros and consHow to handle personality clashes—like chessed vs. gevurah typesThe importance of addressing challenges early to avoid long-term resentmentA gentle reminder: you’re a package deal too Whether you’re dealing with in-law dynamics or learning to navigate your husband’s quirks, this episode will help you approach it all with more compassion and clarity. 💬 Want to go deeper? 📅 Book a free consult call to explore if private coaching is the right next step for you. 💛 kaylalevin.com/coaching 💍 Just married? Want to feel confident and connected in shana rishona? Start the First Year Married course now: 👉 kaylalevin.com/newlywed
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Ep. 220 - What do you think about your life?
Ep. 220 - What do you think about your life?
May 8, 2025
10:36
This week I've got a quick exercise for you to do some "eavesdropping" on that beautiful brain of yours. Enjoy! Other resources mentioned in the episode:First Year Married Course - kaylalevin.com/newlywedPrivate Coaching - https://www.kaylalevin.com/private-coachingThe Glow Community - https://www.kaylalevin.com/coaching
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Ep. 221 - Dating, Surrender, and Our Journeys with Jackie Glaser (Part 1)
Ep. 221 - Dating, Surrender, and Our Journeys with Jackie Glaser (Part 1)
Jun 12, 2025
24:04
In this episode, I’m joined by the amazing Jackie Glaser—psychologist, educator, and transformational coach—for a powerful conversation about dating, marriage, and emotional healing. Jackie shares her own journey from psychologist and Today Show guest in Australia to deep Torah learning in Jerusalem, and how she now helps women tune into their inner world to unlock clarity in dating and life. We explore: ✨ When a relationship goes too deep before marriage ✨ How sure someone really needs to be before they say “yes” ✨ The difference between dating to assess and dating in a relationship ✨ How these experiences might play out beyond the chuppah Jackie answers from the dating perspective, and I chime in from the newlywed side—it’s real, honest, and packed with gems for wherever you are in your relationship journey. 🔗 Mentioned in this episode: 👉 Learn more about Jackie: jackieglaser.com 👉 Follow Jackie on Instagram: @datingbyjackieg 👉 Jackie and her husband Aharon share their dating journey on Stories of Hope Youtubeyoutube.com/watch?v=7TJpGLGPRYE&pp=0gcJCdgAo7VqN5tDYoutubeyoutube.com/watch?v=7TJpGLGPRYE&pp=0gcJCdgAo7VqN5tD 👉 Explore my resources for newlyweds and beyond: kaylalevin.com 💌 Subscribe to the podcast so you don’t miss Part 2, where we dive into dating mindset, emotional triggers, surrender, and what to do when your spouse changes.
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Ep. 222 - From Trigger to Transformation: Emotional Healing for Your Marriage with Jackie Glaser (Part 2)
Ep. 222 - From Trigger to Transformation: Emotional Healing for Your Marriage with Jackie Glaser (Part 2)
Jun 26, 2025
30:26
Jackie Glaser is back to explore how surrender and emotional healing unlock deeper connection in marriage—even when things don’t go as expected. 🔗 Mentioned in this episode: 👉 Learn more about Jackie: jackieglaser.com 👉 Follow Jackie on Instagram: @datingbyjackieg 👉 Jackie and her husband Aharon share their dating journey on Stories of Hope YouTube Married at 44, Baby at 50: A Story of Faith & Resilience | Jackie & Aharon Glaser | Stories of Hope 👉 Book recommendation: Letting Go: The Pathway of Surrender by Dr. David Hawkins 👉 Explore my resources for newlyweds and beyond: kaylalevin.com 💌 Subscribe to the podcast so you don’t miss Part 2, where we dive into dating mindset, emotional triggers, surrender, and what to do when your spouse changes.
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Ep. 223 - Rebbetzin Bat-Chen Grossman
Ep. 223 - Rebbetzin Bat-Chen Grossman
Jul 23, 2025
1:09:49
I had the opportunity to sit down with Rebbetzin Bat-Chen Grossman to talk about something that so many of us are navigating: the intersection of marriage and personal ambition. What happens when you're a go-getter, you're building something big—and you also want to be the best wife and mom you can be? Do those things clash... or can they actually strengthen one another? In this honest and insightful conversation, Bat-Chen shares:Her personal story of going from resentful and overwhelmed to calm and alignedWhat happened when she finally told her husband what she really needed The expectations you might not even know you have about how marriage "has to" be--and what to do about themHer beautiful framework, the CALM Method, for creating flow in your marriage and life: C: Connect to yourself A: Ask for abundance L: Listen for the answer M: Master a higher level of consciousness We also talk about how to hear your true wants vs. the ones that have been sold to you by social media, mentors, or family expectations. 💫 Resources Mentioned:💻 Bat-Chen’s free guide: connectedforreal.com/guide🌐 Work with Bat-Chen 1:1: connectedforreal.com📱Follow her on Instagram: @connectedforreal🎧 The episode with her father that we discussed: Communication & G-d
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Ep. 224 - Taking a Sabbatical
Ep. 224 - Taking a Sabbatical
Aug 4, 2025
28:58
Taking My Sabbatical — Why Now, What’s Next, and What I’ve Learned After 3.5 beautiful, growth-filled years of How to Glow, I’m taking a full sabbatical. In this episode, I share the heart behind the decision, how it’s unfolding, and the personal and business lessons that led me here. Even if you’re not planning a sabbatical yourself, I think you'll find there’s something in here for you — about presence, priorities, and permission to pivot. 💛Whether you’re curious how I ran things behind the scenes, wondering if a big change is right for you, or just want to say goodbye (for now), I’d love for you to listen. 🖥 First Year Married course is still available at kaylalevin.com/newlywed 💬 Book a one-off session after August at kaylalevin.com/coaching 📬 Join the email list to stay in touch KaylalevinOpt-In (Workbook)
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Ep 196 - Your First Year Married - Summer Series Replay
Ep 196 - Your First Year Married - Summer Series Replay
Jul 19, 2023
15:52
This summer we're going back to basics and bringing you the oldies but goodies--our most popular and fundamental episodes. Don't stress about catching up on every past episode--if you need it, we're bringing it to you here. Want to take this work further? I would love to coach you inside my coaching program, How to Glow. It's a no-commitment monthly program where you can get coached every week and be part of an amazing community of women. Ready to give it a try? Join today at kaylalevin.com/coaching
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BONUS: Feel Better in Your Body
BONUS: Feel Better in Your Body
Apr 26, 2023
1:12
Check out what we'll be doing in May inside of the How to Glow Community. Sign Up Here: kaylalevin.com/coaching
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Ep 187 - I Was Supposed to Have A Baby - Dr. Aimee Baron
Ep 187 - I Was Supposed to Have A Baby - Dr. Aimee Baron
Apr 27, 2023
52:26
Whether infertility has personally affected you or not, it has a major impact on the Jewish community. Dr. Aimee Baron joined me to discuss the work behind her non-profit, I Was Supposed to Have A Baby, her own infertility journey, the many forms of infertility, and the ways that we can support and be sensitive to those going through this journey. Learn more from Aimee here: Website: iwassupposedtohaveababy.org Instagram: @iwassupposedtohaveababy Facebook YouTube
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Ep 188 - The Hope Paradox
Ep 188 - The Hope Paradox
May 4, 2023
19:17
Hope sounds so nice, doesn't it? Except when it gets us into trouble. This week I'm unpacking this seemingly innocent emotion that can sometimes keep us stuck--and how to know when we're in a helpful hope or a not-so-helpful hope. Want to take this work further? I would love to coach you inside my coaching program, How to Glow. It's a no-commitment monthly program where you can get coached every week and be part of an amazing community of women. Ready to give it a try? Join today at kaylalevin.com/coaching
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Ep 189 - Get Your Phone Out of The Bedroom
Ep 189 - Get Your Phone Out of The Bedroom
May 11, 2023
17:00
Hey there! In this podcast episode, I want to talk to you about why it's so important to keep your phone out of the bedroom, especially when it comes to maintaining a healthy marriage. Now, I know that there's no one-size-fits-all approach to marriage advice, but I truly believe that every couple should design their own marriage and create a relationship that works for them. In this episode, I explain that getting your phone out of the bedroom is a crucial step in maintaining your mental health and building intimacy with your partner. With social media and constant communication, it's easy to feel overwhelmed and anxious, which can disrupt your sleep and make it difficult to build strong relationships. I also discuss the challenges of giving up your phone as an alarm clock, but emphasize the importance of making conscious decisions about the values you prioritize in your marriage. Ultimately, I hope this episode helps you take a step towards a healthier, happier, and more intimate marriage. As noted in the episode, you can join How to Glow here: kaylalevin.com/coaching
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Ep 190 - Your Relationship with Yourself - Replay
Ep 190 - Your Relationship with Yourself - Replay
May 17, 2023
22:52
This week, we're all (myself included!), listening to a replay of "Your Relationship with Yourself" - episode 89. Enjoy! In this replay episode, I emphasize the importance of having a positive relationship with oneself, focusing on understanding the mechanics of developing that relationship, the concept of thought work, and its relevance to relationships. I will cover the first of three fundamentals of thought work in the context of relationships: one's relationship with oneself, one's relationship with their spouse, and one's relationship with others. Just like what ends up in our garage, our brains can contain various thoughts, including ones we intentionally put there, ones we struggle with, and ones we unknowingly adopted from others. I want to challenge the misguided notion that holding on to negative thoughts (or a really tall cabinet) will lead to growth.
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Ep 191 - Boundaries
Ep 191 - Boundaries
Jun 1, 2023
20:37
This week we're taking a deep dive into BOUNDARIES. What does it really mean to "have no boundaries" and what do we do with those people in our lives who make us crazy because they don't respect our boundaries? How do we set a boundary and, most importantly, what if our own boundaries need some work? Referenced in this episode: Facing Codependence by Pia Mellody
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Ep 192 - When Your Husband Goes on a Business Trip
Ep 192 - When Your Husband Goes on a Business Trip
Jun 15, 2023
16:14
The Business Trip Phenomenon: when your husband goes away and suddenly you are SUPER functional and do so much better than when he was home--WHY is that? Why can't you manage when he's around? And then, instead of him coming home and seeing how great you're doing, you totally fall apart. Has this ever happened to you? Listen this week to hear why this happens and what you can do to have a smoother reunion after his trips, and what you can keep from the magical wonder-woman energy from when he was away (and what you shouldn't expect to carry over into your day-to-day life.) Want to take this work further? I would love to coach you inside my coaching program, How to Glow. It's a no-commitment monthly program where you can get coached every week and be part of an amazing community of women. Ready to give it a try? Join today at kaylalevin.com/coaching
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Ep 193 - When Your Husband Needs Support
Ep 193 - When Your Husband Needs Support
Jun 21, 2023
13:47
When life is stressful, sometimes the last thing you think you can handle is supporting a struggling husband. Today I want to talk about some of the struggles I'm seeing a lot with the clients I work with and how fierce support can create a bedrock for your marriage you will be so grateful for in the decades to come. Want to take this work further? I would love to coach you in my coaching program, How to Glow. It's a no-commitment monthly program where you can get coached every week and be part of an amazing community of women. Ready to give it a try? Join today at kaylalevin.com/coaching
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Ep 194 - How Breathing Makes You Better
Ep 194 - How Breathing Makes You Better
Jun 28, 2023
10:41
Even if you have a great positive thought, if your nervous system has been hijacked and you're in fight or flight, that thought is just not going to stick. This week I'm introducing you to Nervous System 101. Our guest coach Ilana Kendal will be taking this much deeper inside of How to Glow in July! Want to join us? You can sign up today at kaylalevin.com/coaching
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Ep 195 - When Connecting Is Hard with Miriam Campbell
Ep 195 - When Connecting Is Hard with Miriam Campbell
Jul 6, 2023
43:32
This week I brought on my good friend Miriam Campbell for a fascinating discussion on how to connect to others when it's challenging. Sometimes we don't want to connect, or we are going through all the motions but we're not totally there. Listen to hear why this is all part of our process--a process we really do want to be engaged in. You can learn more about working with Miriam here: https://bookme.name/skillsforconnection
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Ep 186 - Hormones & Health with Lauren Allen
Ep 186 - Hormones & Health with Lauren Allen
Apr 20, 2023
36:06
If you're guilty of skipping meals in lieu of a coffee or regularly staying up too late but can't really get motivated to break those habits (or you can't even imagine why you'd want to), this interview is for you. I had Lauren Allen, health coach with a focus on hormonal health, come on and give us some practical, real-life tips (and share her amazing story) so we can go from post-Pesach-blah (is it just me?) to feeling more energetic and focused. Connect with Lauren: laurenallennutrition.com Instagram: @LaurenAllenNutrition To hear Lauren's guest talk in May and participate in our group challenges, join us inside my coaching program, How to Glow. It's a no-commitment monthly program where you can get coached every week and be part of an amazing community of married Jewish women. Join today at kaylalevin.com/coaching
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Ep 197 - Why You Don't Have Enough Time - Summer Series Replay
Ep 197 - Why You Don't Have Enough Time - Summer Series Replay
Jul 26, 2023
24:21
This summer we're going back to basics and bringing you the oldies but goodies--our most popular and fundamental episodes. Don't stress about catching up on every past episode--if you need it, we're bringing it to you here. Want to take this work further? I would love to coach you inside my coaching program, How to Glow. It's a no-commitment monthly program where you can get coached every week and be part of an amazing community of women. Ready to give it a try? Join today at kaylalevin.com/coaching
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Ep 198 - Your Mother-in-Law (Replay)
Ep 198 - Your Mother-in-Law (Replay)
Aug 3, 2023
29:36
This summer we're going back to basics and bringing you the oldies but goodies--our most popular and fundamental episodes. Don't stress about catching up on every past episode--if you need it, we're bringing it to you here. Want to take this work further? I would love to coach you inside my coaching program, How to Glow. It's a no-commitment monthly program where you can get coached every week and be part of an amazing community of women. Ready to give it a try? Join today at kaylalevin.com/coaching
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Ep 199 - Your Husband Doesn’t Need to Tell You How He Feels (Replay)
Ep 199 - Your Husband Doesn’t Need to Tell You How He Feels (Replay)
Aug 10, 2023
17:44
This summer we're going back to basics and bringing you the oldies but goodies--our most popular and fundamental episodes. Don't stress about catching up on every past episode--if you need it, we're bringing it to you here. Want to take this work further? I would love to coach you inside my coaching program, How to Glow. It's a no-commitment monthly program where you can get coached every week and be part of an amazing community of women. Ready to give it a try? Join today at kaylalevin.com/coaching
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Ep 200 - Newlyweds All Over Again! (Summer Replay)
Ep 200 - Newlyweds All Over Again! (Summer Replay)
Aug 17, 2023
20:30
This summer we're going back to basics and bringing you the oldies but goodies--our most popular and fundamental episodes. Don't stress about catching up on every past episode--if you need it, we're bringing it to you here. Want to take this work further? I would love to coach you inside my coaching program, How to Glow. It's a no-commitment monthly program where you can get coached every week and be part of an amazing community of women. Ready to give it a try? Join today at kaylalevin.com/coaching
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Ep 201 - Mind Management (Replay)
Ep 201 - Mind Management (Replay)
Aug 24, 2023
17:59
This summer we're going back to basics and bringing you the oldies but goodies--our most popular and fundamental episodes. Don't stress about catching up on every past episode--if you need it, we're bringing it to you here. Want to take this work further? I would love to coach you inside my coaching program, How to Glow. It's a no-commitment monthly program where you can get coached every week and be part of an amazing community of women. Ready to give it a try? Join today at kaylalevin.com/coaching
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Ep 202 - The Power of Small
Ep 202 - The Power of Small
Oct 26, 2023
11:48
When the issue seems so big it can be hard to see the value of each small action. This week we're discussing the power of making small steps--whether in response to the war, in our marriages, or any area. Also an update on the podcast, the Shalom for Shalom Project, and other ways to work on your marriage now. To join the Shalom for Shalom Project on Whatsapp: https://chat.whatsapp.com/C1hx22g7tvd9v9NY72ho8x To join by email, email me at [email protected] with Shalom for Shalom in the subject line.
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Ep. 203 - For the Love of Newlyweds
Ep. 203 - For the Love of Newlyweds
May 29, 2024
17:12
Welcome back to you and me!! Today we're talking about what shana rishona is really all about. It might not be what you think! (Plus a tool that can help you at any stage of your marriage.) The First Year Married program launches June 2! If you're a newlywed, you can sign up here: kaylalevin.com/newlywed The Glow Community to join us for Mastermind the Worst Part of Your Day: kaylalevin.com/coaching Give a gift to a newlywed or a friend who could use some extra support: kaylalevin.com/gift FREE Shalom for Shalom Challenge WhatsApp: bit.ly/shalom30 Email: bit.ly/shalom-challenge Mentor sessions coming up on the podcast! Know someone who has great ideas to offer about improving some area of our lives? Email me at kayla @ kaylalevin.com your ideas--whether it's you or someone you know! Podcast: Ep. 62 - Your Marriage Is A Baby --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/howtoglow/message
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Ep. 204 Three Ways to Maximize Shana Rishona Part 1: Get A Life
Ep. 204 Three Ways to Maximize Shana Rishona Part 1: Get A Life
Nov 10, 2024
12:41
We just opened doors for the First Year Married course and to celebrate I'm giving you a 3 part series on how to get the most out of shana rishona. This episode is mainly for my newlyweds out there, but these tools are relevant no matter how long you've been married. In today's episode, find out how getting a life is CRITICAL for a happy marriage--and how to make it happen. Want to share your coaching wins? Have a question? Thinking about joining the course and want to talk it out? I'd love to hear from you! Newlywed Course starting Dec 2 (includes Time Management course until Nov 15) kaylalevin.com/newlywed WhatsApp: https://wa.me/19739307981 Email: kaylalevin AT kaylalevin.com
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Ep 197 - Why You Don't Have Enough Time - Summer Series Replay
Ep 197 - Why You Don't Have Enough Time - Summer Series Replay
Nov 21, 2024
24:21
This summer we're going back to basics and bringing you the oldies but goodies--our most popular and fundamental episodes. Don't stress about catching up on every past episode--if you need it, we're bringing it to you here. Want to take this work further? I would love to coach you inside my coaching program, How to Glow. It's a no-commitment monthly program where you can get coached every week and be part of an amazing community of women. Ready to give it a try? Join today at kaylalevin.com/coaching
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First Year Married - Trailer
First Year Married - Trailer
Dec 18, 2018
3:41
The First Year Married Podcast lands THIS SUNDAY December 23rd. We are so excited to share it with you! Please subscribe and stay tuned for the launch.
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Ep. 1 - Your First Year Married
Ep. 1 - Your First Year Married
Dec 23, 2018
18:30
Newlyweds... this is what it's all about. Using the early days of marriage to build a strong foundation so you can ENJOY your marriage for the long-run! In this episode, I'll be letting you in on why I focus so much on the first year of marriage, what you can do to maximize the potential of this time, the challenges many people face early on in their marriages, and how you can use this material even if you have been married a while! What better way to start this podcast than to talk about that first year of marriage? That exhilarating, overwhelming, impossible, unbelievable first year of marriage. It’s the most amazing time to focus. Focus on building, focus on connecting, focus on prioritizing. I hope you enjoy. xo, Kayla
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Ep. 2 - Why You Don't Have Enough Time
Ep. 2 - Why You Don't Have Enough Time
Dec 23, 2018
26:30
In today's episode, we're gonna talk about your time and why you don't have enough of it. It's not why you think. I'll share my tool for matching your priorities to your calendar and help you deal with those feelings of busyness and overwhelm that can suck the energy out of all of us.
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Ep. 3 - Your Mother-In-Law
Ep. 3 - Your Mother-In-Law
Dec 30, 2018
31:35
If you've struggled with your relationship with your mother-in-law (or ANY family member... or really any other human), this episode is for you. I'll be talking about what makes these in-law relationships uniquely challenging, what we do to make it so much worse, and some of my own experiences using self-coaching to improve my relationships with family members.
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Ep. 4 - Your Husband Doesn't Need To Tell You How He Feels
Ep. 4 - Your Husband Doesn't Need To Tell You How He Feels
Jan 6, 2019
17:57
Communication is a hot topic when it comes to marriage and relationships. And while improving our communication is always a value, this class will help you challenge what you consider to be "good communication" and discover what major form of communication you may be missing out on entirely. Resources mentions: Why Gender Matters: https://amzn.to/2Rxfb6D Mating in Captivity: https://amzn.to/2LNBgIZ Why Gender Matters, Leonard Sax, 2005, p. 29 "In boys, as in men, the part of the brain where emotions happen is not well connected to the part of the brain where verbal processing and speech happens--unlike the situation in teenage girls and women. " The above are affiliate links
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Ep. 5 - Your Invisible Cape
Ep. 5 - Your Invisible Cape
Jan 13, 2019
19:25
You're ready to grow, you're ready to move on to the next level.... but everyone around you is struggling. What's a newlywed to do? How do we improve our lives without leaving those we love in the dust? Budgeting for newlyweds can be tricky. You might struggle with getting your apartment organized, or your new home. Maybe for you what's hard is losing weight or drinking less... but sometimes we're ready to move on from these challenges and up-level our lives, but something surprising is holding us back. Check out this week's episode for a whole new way to look at overcoming your challenges. Finding your invisible cape means electing yourself the official representative who is going to break the trend... for the sake of yourself, and for others who need someone to look to. Those around you might be struggling with peer pressure or negative thinking, but you can be the example of what it's like to live life without that particular struggle. Sometimes we don our invisible capes to allow ourselves to buy a more modest home or post less about our fantastic marriages, so that we aren't putting pressure on those around us who might be struggling. This is not only super fun to do, but it can allow us to get the motivation to make the decision we really felt was best for us in the first place.
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Ep. 6 - Zero Based Scheduling Update
Ep. 6 - Zero Based Scheduling Update
Jan 20, 2019
18:12
I got so much feedback and questions and awesome stories about the episode, "Why You Don't Have Enough Time" that I wanted to run another episode--Part 2 on Zero Based Scheduling! Time Management can be one of our major stressors, and this tool has helped my husband and I feel so much more at peace with how we spend our time. This episode addresses some of the more common questions I received and gives you an update on where we are with the tool ourselves. It's been great hearing stories from listeners about how this is giving you clarity and empowerment as you make decisions about what to do and what to cut. And while this isn't only about marriage, one of the main things newlyweds are navigating is learning to share all parts of life--finances, space, and time--with another person, and you want to do it successfully! Please keep sending in your feedback, questions, and stories--I love to hear from you!
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Ep. 7 - Baseline Self Care
Ep. 7 - Baseline Self Care
Jan 27, 2019
21:37
Sometimes all the coaching in the world isn't going to cut it. And that's because you're just too tired. When I was first married, I loved staying up late... but my marriage was paying the price. It took me longer than I care to admit to realize that the zombie my husband was married to wasn't the one he signed up for! In this episode, I'll walk you through my system called "baseline self care" that will allow you to identify what keeps you up and running. This isn't the deep meaningful spiritual retreat or even wine and bubble baths. This is just about having clarity about what's on your list that needs to be done, at a minimum. I'll also teach you my ten second check-in and help you identify when it's time for self-coaching and when it's time for self care.
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Ep. 8 - Shame Won't Make You A Better Wife
Ep. 8 - Shame Won't Make You A Better Wife
Feb 3, 2019
15:16
Do you have an image of your mind of how you wish you were showing up in your marriage? Do you come down hard on yourself when you don't? If so, you MUST listen to this week's podcast. You CAN be a better wife (or husband), but beating yourself up or criticizing yourself is not the way to do it. More than that... you'll actually harm the authenticity of your relationship. Your partner chose YOU, flaws and all. This podcast will teach you how to align your thinking with the result you want in your marriage.
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Ep. 9 - Newlyweds... All Over Again!
Ep. 9 - Newlyweds... All Over Again!
Feb 10, 2019
21:11
This episode is for my listeners and clients who have been married longer than a year but are still wanting inspiration and improved connection with their spouses. Here are my tips on how to bring the "newlywed vibe" back to your marriage, why the 4-7 year phase can be tricky, and some tips on setting up your marriage for the long haul. (By the way, newlyweds, you should listen too and gain some tips for what's to come!)
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Ep. 10 - Going on a Trip
Ep. 10 - Going on a Trip
Feb 17, 2019
14:22
Traveling together… there is so much to say and I hope we’re able to come back to this topic more over the course of this podcast. Is this a vacation or a family trip? If it’s a family trip, who is being prioritized? If it’s your spouse, what does your husband need to be supported and what will you need to be able to give that support? What might come up? What is the goal of the trip? Asking your brain the right questions can take any trip and evolve it to deliver far more value to your life and your marriage. If you have an upcoming vacation with your spouse, listen to this one now and maybe even once more before you leave. Enjoy!
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Ep. 11 - When is the Right Time to Start a Family?
Ep. 11 - When is the Right Time to Start a Family?
Feb 24, 2019
11:54
This question came in from a listener on Instagram. There are several factors to consider before starting a family, but I (of course) want to talk to you about your mind. Start HERE before you move onto the checklist of "must haves" and "to dos."
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Ep. 12 - Mind Management
Ep. 12 - Mind Management
Mar 3, 2019
17:10
This week we're diving deep into managing your mind. While it feels like we should be able to "set it and forget it," really our brains are always at work and if left unsupervised, they can get into a little bit of trouble. This week we'll be talking about how often to do thought work and why, and how this is going to benefit not just your marriage but your entire life. This is where self-improvement and self-development kick into super-speed and your marriage truly transforms.
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Ep. 13 - He's Not The Man I Thought He Was
Ep. 13 - He's Not The Man I Thought He Was
Mar 10, 2019
16:36
Let's talk about disappointment. Whether you went to premarital counseling and made a bunch of agreements that haven't come through or he seems different from the guy you dated, feeling like your husband isn't "what you signed up for" is so common. This week we talk about where this comes from and what to do about it.
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Ep. 14 - It Gets Better
Ep. 14 - It Gets Better
Mar 17, 2019
17:05
I'll say it... the first year of marriage can be HARD! Being a newlywed is such a tremendous adjustment, and it can create a lot of insecurity and anxiety for some people. This week I'm talking about the ways in which our marriages get better with time (and the right focus) and how to find a mentor who will guide you and inspire you in improving your marriage.
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Ep. 15 - Money & Debt
Ep. 15 - Money & Debt
Mar 25, 2019
19:31
How do you agree on finances when one of you wants to save hardcore and the other wants to spend more? This week I'm answering a listener question about how to manage differences of opinion between her and her husband when it comes to MONEY. Money and debt are such hot-button issues in our marriages, and I want to share with you a few things to keep in mind to keep these conversations useful, productive, and connecting.
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Ep. 16 - Self Image
Ep. 16 - Self Image
Mar 31, 2019
12:13
The way you think about yourself might have more of an impact on your marriage than you realize. Join me this week as we talk about self image and how it applies to how we show up in our marriages as well as some practical tools for what to do about it.
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Ep. 17 - And... We're Moving to Israel!
Ep. 17 - And... We're Moving to Israel!
Apr 7, 2019
22:05
This week I’m going to fill you in on our big move, how we use thought work to make major decisions, and how you can live a bigger life... without leaving your home. To learn more about the model and thought work, originated by Brooke Castillo, check out earlier episodes of the podcast!
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Ep. 18 - Submission vs. Self Knowledge
Ep. 18 - Submission vs. Self Knowledge
Apr 14, 2019
20:00
"If I learn to ACCEPT my husband's behavior, aren't I just letting him walk all over me?" This week we are talking about when we don't like our husband's behavior. If you work on your thoughts and you come to accept his behavior, are you expecting less of him? Are you just accepting an unfair, unbalanced relationship? Check out this week's podcast.
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Ep. 19 - Intuitive Eating with Rena Reiser
Ep. 19 - Intuitive Eating with Rena Reiser
Apr 22, 2019
33:54
Meet Rena Reiser, Intuitive Eating Coach at Mind Over Munchies. I had so much fun interviewing Rena and hearing about the tools she uses as an intuitive eating coach to help her clients. So many of us struggle with our relationship with food, and Rena is knowledgeable and relatable, so I know you will love hearing from her! https://www.renareiser.com
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Ep. 20 - Your Marriage Mentor
Ep. 20 - Your Marriage Mentor
Apr 28, 2019
24:14
In this episode I walk you through the 7 factors to look for in finding a mentor for your marriage. Having a coach, mentor, and really taking advantage of all of the resources you can get your hands on is so important for building a solid foundation to your marriage. As I discuss in this episode, you may have 4-5 careers in your life but you hope to only have one marriage... isn't it odd how much more we often invest in mentors for our careers? Listen and jot down these 7 things to look for and then go get yourself a mentor! Also, if you haven't already, check out Episode 14 where I first discussed having a marriage mentor. You can also sign up for my course starting in May here and get free access to the first class immediately.
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Ep. 21 - Zero Based Budgeting with Jenn Neilson of @willsavefortravel
Ep. 21 - Zero Based Budgeting with Jenn Neilson of @willsavefortravel
May 6, 2019
39:35
This month we are diving into the topic of your money. How do you create a budget as a newlywed? What do you do if you fight with your husband about money? How can you travel when you're tight on funds? Jenn Nielson of @willsavefortravel has some amazing resources and fantastic tips on how to manage your money when you're just starting out--even if you have student loans. Enjoy!
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Ep. 22 - There's Something Wrong with Him
Ep. 22 - There's Something Wrong with Him
May 12, 2019
24:57
We may not like to admit it, but we tend to have some opinions about our husbands. Whether he's too messy, bad with money, or not taking his job seriously enough (or too seriously!), it's very common to forget that these are only our opinions and not a true fact. In this episode I'm going to teach you how to coach yourself when you are getting frustrated with your husband.
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Ep. 23 - Interviewing The Husband
Ep. 23 - Interviewing The Husband
May 20, 2019
30:56
Guess what I did?? I interviewed my husband for the podcast! How fun is that? Noah and I talk about the ups and downs of our first year of marriage, learning to be adults, our mistakes with finances, and how we manage running a business together. He has some awesome advice... both for the husbands and the wives. Reach out on Instagram @firstyearmarried after you listen and tell me what you thought--and please don't forget to rate and review the podcast!
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Ep. 24 - There's Something Wrong With His Model
Ep. 24 - There's Something Wrong With His Model
May 26, 2019
15:33
How can we get our husbands to cheer up when they're so down? How do we get them to see that their thoughts and the way they see the problem is really the issue? How do we get them to show up the way we need them? I'm so excited to share an advanced episode with you this week! On episode 24, I'm answering a really common question... "what if the problem is HIS model?" I'll be giving you three tools to deal with this. You'll learn how to examine your own thoughts, separate from the rules in your mind that are actually making you crazy, and get yourself into his corner. It's totally counter-intuitive, but it's so transformational. Additional resources: Watch my free video on how to use the self-coaching model to improve your marriage. Episode 12: Mind Management (this will give you the foundation of this work) The Life Coach School podcast by Brooke Castillo, who originated the self-coaching model. Learn about how to get coached by Kayla!
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Ep. 25 - The Dreaded Housework (Part 1)
Ep. 25 - The Dreaded Housework (Part 1)
Jun 2, 2019
23:30
This is part 1 of a hot topic for many of you ladies, and I can completely understand why. This week I'll be sharing my paradigm shifts that have saved me from years of frustration and resentment when it came to partnering on housework with my husband. I'm sharing how we can use thought work (a la Brooke Castillo) on our house work (see what I did there?) and also some powerful insights from the research of Alison Armstrong. I highly recommend Alison's two books as a great starting point for her research. They are written as fiction so they are an easy and fun read, but packed full of information. Keys to the Kingdom - How men change over time and why it's so confusing. The Queen's Code - How we can bring out the best in men (and often bring out the worst) Episode 12 - Mind Management - For an introduction to thought work
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Ep. 26 - The Dreaded Housework (Part 2)
Ep. 26 - The Dreaded Housework (Part 2)
Jun 10, 2019
30:20
This is part 2 of a hot topic for many of you ladies, and I can completely understand why. This week I'll be sharing my paradigm shifts that have saved me from years of frustration and resentment when it came to partnering on housework with my husband. I'm sharing how we can use thought work (a la Brooke Castillo) on our house work (see what I did there?) and also some powerful insights from the research of Alison Armstrong. I highly recommend Alison's two books as a great starting point for her research. They are written as fiction so they are an easy and fun read, but packed full of information. Keys to the Kingdom - How men change over time and why it's so confusing. The Queen's Code - How we can bring out the best in men (and often bring out the worst) Episode 12 - Mind Management - For an introduction to thought work
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Ep. 27 - Your Vision
Ep. 27 - Your Vision
Jun 16, 2019
16:00
This week we are talking about how to dis-overwhelm yourself (yes, I made that up). I'll teach you the few simple steps to clarify your vision for the most difficult areas of your life and how to pursue achieve it, including the surprising reason we often lose track of our vision.
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Ep. 28 - What if You Were Beautiful?
Ep. 28 - What if You Were Beautiful?
Jun 24, 2019
19:41
I was really excited about this episode when I recorded it, but after living with this work for a few weeks I'm convinced EVERY woman needs to hear it. Years of struggling with accepting my appearance just... over. It's a little bit advanced, but I think it will at least plant a very important seed, even for those who aren't familiar with thought work. Please listen and forward to the women in your lives, whether they are newly married or not.
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Ep. 29 - You Are All Alone
Ep. 29 - You Are All Alone
Jun 30, 2019
15:21
Isn't this a nice, friendly-sounding podcast episode? Here you are, trying to feel connected and in love with your husband, and I go and get depressing on you. Don't worry. This week's episode will teach you a fantastic framework taken from Jewish wisdom that we can all use as a self-coaching exercise to clarify who YOU are in your relationship and your goals for yourself on the deepest level. When we learn to frame our marriages, and all of our relationships and life situations, in the context of personal development, it creates an entirely new context.
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Ep. 30 - Just Ask!
Ep. 30 - Just Ask!
Jul 8, 2019
17:49
What's the one thing you can do to transform the dynamic of your relationship? Start asking for what you want. Sound easy? It's not. For most of us, even identifying what we want is hard--it's not the things we're nagging him about, it's the deeper, more meaningful things that would truly light us up. It's the things we can't do on our own or get for ourselves--and it's so hard sometimes to admit that there's a limit to our independence. But when we lean into that vulnerability and offer him a real chance to win, the payoff in your relationship is unbelievable. By the way, this is an area I personally struggle with SO MUCH... so expect to hear more about it in the future!
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Ep. 31 - What it Means to Give - Interview with the Husband Part 2
Ep. 31 - What it Means to Give - Interview with the Husband Part 2
Jul 15, 2019
25:28
This week I had my husband back on the podcast to talk about a man's perspective about what it means to give. This is a follow up to "Episode 30 - Just Ask!". It's so helpful to hear a guys perspective on this topic. As I share in the podcast, this is my #1 challenge and something that I know shifts they dynamic of the relationship in a very positive way.
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Ep. 32 - Bringing Home Baby (Part 1)
Ep. 32 - Bringing Home Baby (Part 1)
Jul 23, 2019
17:56
Baby on the way? Or maybe just thoughts of a baby on the way? The transition to life with a new baby is a major one and these five pointers are what we learned from our four children and what kept us sane--and our marriage healthy--during this phase. Check out more podcast episodes and sign up for my free online class at www.firstyearmarried.com You can also check out Ruchi Koval's podcast here: Out of the Orthobox Go to Audible to listen to Alison Armstrong's workshop, The Amazing Development of Men (affiliate link).
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Ep. 33 - Bringing Home Baby (Part 2)
Ep. 33 - Bringing Home Baby (Part 2)
Jul 28, 2019
19:55
This week I’m following up on our Bringing Baby Home episode by answering the questions you sent in. 👶How do I set up healthy boundaries with my in-laws before baby is born? 🙅♀️ What do I do about an anxious partner? 😬 Does my husband need to have a good job before we have a baby? 👔 Have more questions? Send them in! @firstyearmarried on Instagram or email me at kayla at kaylalevin.com 👌
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Ep. 34 - The Five Love Languages Trap
Ep. 34 - The Five Love Languages Trap
Aug 4, 2019
21:23
I am a big fan of Gary Chapman's 5 Love Languages. However, I've been seeing some women use this powerful information in a way that actually hurts their relationship, not help it. This week I'll give you a quick overview of the 5 Love Languages, tell you the trap you want to avoid, and how to use this material to benefit your marriage the most. The 5 Love Languages Book*: https://amzn.to/2Zwz4eX *affiliate link
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Ep. 35 - Getting Your Needs Met
Ep. 35 - Getting Your Needs Met
Aug 11, 2019
30:55
I love hearing your questions and I recently got two questions that deserved a better answer than I could give in a quick online chat. Both women were asking about getting what they need from their husbands. Our first question deals with not feeling connected to a husband who travels a lot and doesn't help out when he's home. Our second question is about not getting validation when she needs it. Thank you so much for sending in your questions! If you'd like to send in a question, you can do so @firstyearmarried on Instagram.
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Ep. 36 - Your Husband's Phone
Ep. 36 - Your Husband's Phone
Aug 18, 2019
28:44
Hey newlyweds, What do you do if your husband is spending more time on his phone than communicating with you? What will this mean when kids come along (if they haven't already) and how he's going to be able to connect to him? What if he's getting defensive when you ask him to put away his phone? How much are phones supposed to be used in a healthy marriage? This week we're talking all about the "other wife"--your husband's phone This topic can make us crazy--I get it--but we're going to focus on a practical framework to work on this area in your home. Because let's face it... you probably have a phone, too... Check out this week's episode for a four-step solution to unhealthy phone usage in your new marriage. Here are the steps for you to review when you come back to implement this material! Step 1. The Brain Dump (and analyze) Step 2. Your Vision Step 3. Self-Work Step 4. Pick Your Timeline.
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Ep. 37 - That One Bad Emotion
Ep. 37 - That One Bad Emotion
Aug 25, 2019
24:33
This week we're talking about negative emotions in your marriage. It is so common for newlyweds to feel extremely vulnerable and surprised at the number of negative emotions they may be experiencing in their marriages. The trouble with anger, resentment, frustration, and any negative feeling isn't the feeling itself--its the way we react to it. In this episode, we review our understanding of how emotions work, how to have an authentic emotional life (and how it's not all about "feeling all the feels"), and how to allow negative emotions. Many times, we resist negative emotions either by pushing it away with distractions or by switching to a more comfortable emotion like anger or disappointment. I'll take you through this process and give you an exercise to apply this work to your own marriage. (The thought work here is based on the Self-Coaching Model by Brooke Castillo.)
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Ep. 38 - Your Sister-in-Law
Ep. 38 - Your Sister-in-Law
Sep 2, 2019
29:34
One place I especially like to work on is charged relationships. Partly because this is an area where I have had my own work to do, so I know how important it is, but also because we really discover our own thought processes here and they are funny and surprising. Several of you wrote in asking me to discuss sibling relationships. When I put out a request for specific scenarios, they were almost all about sisters-in-law, so we'll focus on that but these tools really can be applied to any relationship. I have a question about my sister-in-law. I desperately want to become friends with her but every time we do something she is constantly on her phone or gossiping about people from her home town that I have no clue who they are. How can I become friends with someone who doesn’t take the time to talk? There are two parts of to any relationship: how they feel about you and how you feel about them. Which is in your control? We will never know how someone feels about us, and even if we could know, we can’t control it. So I like to have a few thoughts that help me: I get to feel however I want about you. I am going to learn something very important from you. I’m good. How do I deal with a jealous sister in law who wants to make every moment about her? She wanted to know when I was pregnant, when I gave birth, and gender of baby (I’m assuming she means during the pregnancy) and got jealous of my relationship with my MIL. I don’t have involved parents. Let’s break down what’s happening and how we’re interpreting it. Because our interpretations drive our emotional reaction, so we have to have really high standards about what we’ll allow as “fact.” What happened: she asked if you were pregnant (or asked you to tell her when you were) Thought: She needs every moment to be about her. Feeling: Resentment, annoyance, disgust, sadness… whatever Action: Don’t tell her, maybe try to convey with your tone or body language that you’re offended Result: Less closeness, no pairing of you two, so it remains all about her--there isn’t a relationship instead. What if you tried on other thoughts here? How would you feel and behave differently? Have some fun with it. I had my son 9 months ago and my SIL got married 6 weeks before us. Lots of tension. I had a great pregnancy and she is now pregnant and I am extremely happy for them. But at the same time I all of a sudden feel a shift in my MIL since hearing the news. I understand it is her daughter and she is pregnant with her second grandchild, but she is seemingly colder towards me… it may be my own insecurities but what if somehow it could be my SIL stirring it up? She is very insecure with my husband and MIL’s relationship. How do you want to show up in the relationship? Create a clear vision for yourself before any family interaction with your in-laws. It is very normal to feel uncomfortable with your in-law relationship. What if you allowed that? What if you didn't try to make it more comfortable, but just went to a place of observing yourself and your reactions and allowing yourself to be uncomfortable? Want to take this work further? Watch the free video at www.firstyearmarried.com to learn how to coach yourself.
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Ep. 39 - Critical Parents
Ep. 39 - Critical Parents
Sep 9, 2019
20:44
A listener asked me to discuss critical parents and what to do about them. In this week’s podcast we discuss the difference between explicit criticism and subtly undermining your relationship. The key to dealing with criticism is to maintain responsibility over your emotional reaction. When we allow these criticisms to upset us, we have to realize that it’s because we became attached to what they said--that they might be right or that they “shouldn’t” have said it. The easiest way to deal with critical parents is to remember that they “get to” feel and say whatever they want, and you’re FINE. From that place, we can move forward to create healthy, effective boundaries that aren’t an attempt to change them or their behavior. Resources: Brook Castillo on Boundaries: https://thelifecoachschool.com/podcast/12/ Brook's Boundaries 2.0: https://thelifecoachschool.com/podcast/163/
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Ep. 40 - Being Hurt
Ep. 40 - Being Hurt
Sep 16, 2019
18:25
This week we’re going to revisit a familiar topic and take the work further. What is happening when you are feeling hurt? Take the last time you were hurt (or disappointed, angry, frustrated…) with your husband and try to remember the specific details. Consider that the reason that you were upset was that he wasn’t doing what you wanted him to be doing. Try to identify what you DID want him to do. What was your plan or rule book for how he should behave? But here’s the model. You’re crying and he’s texting. If he loved me, he’d be hugging me and taking care of me. So you feel hurt, rejected, and maybe angry (much safer) Here’s the reality: Him texting when you are crying says nothing about his love for you. So why are you hurt? ONLY because of the thought you had about it. We’re going to figure out this week how to find an alternative, how to clarify our vision, and how to experience the relationship we want. Unconditional love is on YOU. Leave him out of it! You want a loving relationship? LOVE HIM. And not when he’s adorable and considerate. Love him when he’s a bear. Love him when he’s obnoxious. Here are some thoughts that have really helped me with this... --I love being in love --I love being surprised by him --He’s so different, so foreign to me, just when I think I know him he surprises me Get a buddy, share this episode, and help each other use this information. It can be hard to observe our own brains sometimes. To work with me on-on-one, you can email me at [email protected] or fill out the form at firstyearmarried.com and I’ll send you my booking calendar. For more ideas about the "rule book" (or the "manual") check out Brooke Castillo's podcast, The Life Coach School Podcast.
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Ep. 41 - A Vision For Your Home
Ep. 41 - A Vision For Your Home
Sep 22, 2019
23:05
We’re back to housework this week, believe it or not! This week we’re discussing how leading with your values and vision can make even the most basic kinds of housework more meaningful. I’ll be showing you how to determine your values within your home (and sharing mine) and realize what things DON’T make the list (so you can stop stressing out about them)! I’ll also give you a clear formula for having a vision-led discussion with your husband to enlist the help you need without bringing negativity into your marriage.
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Ep. 42 - Practical Tips for Running The Home
Ep. 42 - Practical Tips for Running The Home
Sep 29, 2019
23:14
I love sharing tips with other women (and sometimes men) about what makes running the home easier for them. In a way, our personality comes out in our hacks. And so this week we're keeping it light and I'm offering you my favorite tips and tricks that help me run the home. I look forward to hearing yours and sharing them on next week's episode!
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Ep. 43 - Listener Tips for Running the Home
Ep. 43 - Listener Tips for Running the Home
Oct 6, 2019
36:17
WOW. You all sent in some awesome tips for running the home! More than that, I love how you all came out to support and help one another! At the end of the day, we're all in this together if we want to be... and the FYM community keeps proving that you are women who look out for one another. I love it. First, an announcement: I will be hosting a special Kallah Cohort of First Year Married targeted specifically to women in the Orthodox Jewish community. Lots of details at the end of the episode! I broke down your tips into three main categories: Vision and Appreciation, Food and Groceries, and General Household Management and Time Management Tips. Have more tips to share? Please send them to @firstyearmarried on Instagram and I will share them over there! All the best, Kayla
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Ep. 44 - Getting Yourself Out of Victim Mentality
Ep. 44 - Getting Yourself Out of Victim Mentality
Oct 13, 2019
26:11
I was looking through some of the requests that I’ve received for topics to cover and I wanted to address the one that would give us the biggest room for growth, the most potential. And so this question “how do I get out of victim mentality?” really stuck out to me. Because as long as we see ourselves as a victim, we are BY DEFINITION powerless. Before we go further: November 10 is the first call of our Kallah Cohort, a specific LIVE First Year Married course for women in the Orthodox Jewish community! The first class is free and no-obligation, but you need to sign up to get a spot! See you there! An important note about this whole episode: this material, like all of my material, does NOT apply to unhealthy or abusive relationships. We all have ups and downs--as individuals and in our marriages--but I encourage anyone who is unsure if their relationship is abusive or dysfunctional to seek out a qualified couples therapist. Here is one great resource. We all fall into victim mentality sometimes, whether it’s a story about our relationship or our abilities at work or with our physical health or self-discipline… Here are seven steps to help you leave victim mode behind. Identify the feeling. Knowing the feeling, viscerally, will help you “red flag” it for the future. How does it feel in your body? What are your habitual thoughts? What’s the story? Anything with a story is optional. Beware of boundaries set to control. If you are frustrated that you set a boundary and it wasn’t followed, you didn’t set a boundary you just told someone what to do and they didn’t do it. Listen to learn how to set boundaries that don't leave you in victim-mode. Articulate the thought. You guys getting used to me saying this? You can’t question a thought until you articulate it. So what’s the story? “I’m not the happily-ever-after type.” So write it down. Look at it. Feel it. Be with it. Don’t be in such a rush to get rid of it. What we tend to do is we half-articulate it then we try to jump to another thought so fast because this one is so painful. Don’t be in a rush. It’s not urgent, it’s just feelings. Notice the results of your thought. Here’s where we want to focus on the present instead of, as is a natural tendency, to go past-focused. It’s interesting to question where your story came from. You for sure have reasons for why it’s true. But right now just look at WHAT THE THOUGHT IS DOING. How does it make you feel? What kinds of things are you capable of with this thought? What aren’t you? Live with your thought. Now that you’ve gone scientific and cerebral, gather some field research on how it’s playing out for you. Watch it in action. Write it down or send a voice memo to your podcast buddy if you have one (if not, time to get one!) Now you can start to jiggle it loose. How is the opposite true? How do you always get happily-ever-after? (Going into the holidays feeling so low from everything that happened with my health this year… then realized the opposite is equally true.) Advanced skill: Go all-out play and pick a new amazing thought! This ONLY works if you’ve really spent time in your current thought, with awareness and mindfulness! Thanks so much for the question and I look forward to seeing you back here next week! In the meantime, have you checked out my FREE class at FirstYearMarried.com? Well, here it is!
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Ep. 45 - How to Handle Overwhelm
Ep. 45 - How to Handle Overwhelm
Oct 20, 2019
24:56
This week we're going to recap a few of the key tools we've covered over the last 44 episodes that will help us all handle overwhelm.
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Ep 46 - Your Relationship Momentum
Ep 46 - Your Relationship Momentum
Oct 27, 2019
18:44
This episode is inspired by a quote from Elizabeth Gilbert's amazing book, Big Magic. The book is about creativity, but of course we're going to be applying it to our marriages here. She says, “any motion whatsoever beats inertia, because inspiration will always be drawn to motion.” When I heard this quote about motion, a light went off. This is such a great illustration of the change that I've seen in my marriage and my clients' marriages. The motion. The momentum. Our relationships have momentum. This week I'm going to give you four strategies for keeping a healthy, forward momentum in your marriage and keep you out of gridlock.
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Ep. 47 - Letting Go is Not Sad
Ep. 47 - Letting Go is Not Sad
Nov 3, 2019
6:06
ANNOUNCEMENT - this is the last week to sign up for the Kallah Cohort! You can do that here. Today it’s time to talk about letting go of your marriage. Not the one you’re in. I mean the one you thought you’d be in. You’ve been married a few months, maybe a year. The cracks are starting to show. This is NOT what you had in mind. This is not what your friends said it was like, or how it looks when you see other couples. This is not what you thought it would feel like. And when I encourage you to let go of all that, you think it’s sad. It’s devastating, really. But that’s not how I see it as your coach. In this week’s podcast, I’m going to tell you why you REALLY need to let go of your fantasy marriage.
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Ep. 48 - Short Term Gain
Ep. 48 - Short Term Gain
Nov 10, 2019
10:31
This week I’m sharing a hack that I learned while researching how to best care for myself as a type 1 diabetic. While it was intended to help with things like glucose control, I think this hack can help all of us on most long-term goals. Adam Brown, writer for diaTribe, writes in his book Bright Spots and Land Mines* about the benefits of setting specific, short-term goals to help us achieve our long term goals. Want better overall health? Think about how your mood will improve in the next few hours when you exercise. So here’s the hack du jour: ask yourself, what makes you feel better TODAY? -Exercise: long term “numbers” or how I feel? -Food: weight loss, or how I’ll be able to focus the rest of the day? -Laundry: is it about you and your abilities to be organized or can you just think about how nice it is to go to bed knowing it’s done? -Investing in your marriage (why don’t I talk about this more??): is it about working towards a long, happy marriage, or just the nice feeling of being an awesome wife? So here’s the strategy: Identify the long-term goal Identify the short-term gain Then… take a pic and tag me! @firstyearmarried or send to [email protected] Have an awesome week! *affiliate link
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Ep. 49 - Don't Weaponize Self-Improvement
Ep. 49 - Don't Weaponize Self-Improvement
Nov 17, 2019
24:44
Announcement: Next week I will be having the amazing ALISON ARMSTRONG on the podcast!!! Make sure you are subscribed because it’s going to be split over two episodes and you are not going to want to miss this interview. I recorded an episode a while back called “Shame Won’t Make You a Better Wife.” Episode 8 You need to hear it again. Because I keep seeing you all using the idea of self-improvement as a way of attacking yourself and your self-worth. You are weaponizing self-control. Against yourself. How you know you’re doing it: You are more conscious of what you’re doing wrong than what you’re doing right. The Perfect Wife has shown up. Your emotional reactions seem to be worse than makes sense. You aren’t making progress. When we are so down on ourselves and then trying to show up as the perfect wife, it’s totally inauthentic. What to do about it. Name the shame. Thank it for its contribution. Consider life without shame. (Sidenote: accidental spending and kids nutrition sabbatical) Consider that your actions may be coming from a place of fear or insecurity. Speak those out loud. See the reverse of them. Clarify your vision as you would if you were speaking to a beloved younger friend. Consider what you would need to believe, truly believe, to make a step towards that vision.
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Ep. 50 - Interview with Alison Armstrong - Part 1
Ep. 50 - Interview with Alison Armstrong - Part 1
Nov 24, 2019
31:47
This week's episode is truly special. When Noah and I sat down to discuss who would be our absolute dream podcast guests, Alison Armstrong topped the list. Her work has been transformative for hundreds of men and women, as she takes the most confusing and frustrating differences between us and makes them crystal clear with humor, compassion, and her characteristic charm. For this episode, I got on the call with the intention of bringing her work into the realm of the newly married... those couples who are just getting to know each other, maybe building families and careers while they're at it. Alison was so wonderfully generous with her knowledge. The episode is divided into two parts, for several reasons. Mainly, I wanted to give you all the best opportunity to digest and try some of these ideas. So if you aren't subscribed yet, make sure to do that right away and you'll get the second part next Sunday when it is released. Alison Armstrong is the co-founder of PAX programs, author of The Queen’s Code book, Understand Men Online Course, and many more programs and workshops. You can find out much more at Alison’s Website: www.understandmen.com and learn about her upcoming LIVE event called LUX here: https://www.understandmen.com/worldevent/lux/ This is what we discussed in this week’s episode: What exactly is Frog Farming? How we just need to get out of the way. What causes men to misbehave? What should we do if our husbands are working too much? The surprising statistic about men in the first year of fatherhood. Why our plans for others never work. How to survive our husband’s early career intensity. How playfulness and affection feed our relationships. How young mothers can incorporate self-care. Why we aren’t getting what we need, and what to do about it. Let me know what you took from this episode! I can’t wait to hear your wins and celebrate with you!
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Ep. 51 - Interview with Alison Armstrong - Part 2
Ep. 51 - Interview with Alison Armstrong - Part 2
Dec 1, 2019
33:15
Alison Armstrong is BACK for the second half of our interview together! Here are some highlights from this week's episode: "Honey we have an issue" --why these are dreaded words to a man "Women are very motivated by upset, they don't want to upset anybody. So we try to motivate men to change by telling hem how upset we are. And it doesn't work at all. And we don't notice it doesn't work at all." - Alison Armstrong How to make the shift from complaining to getting help solving your problems. Breaking down "self care" into something actionable. Identifying your favorite feelings and becoming self-sufficient in providing them for yourself. For some of us... learning to be an adult while also being a newlywed. How men see beauty so differently than we do. Finally, a life lesson from her beloved late husband, Greg. Thank you, Alison, for taking the time to share your wisdom with us! For more from Alison Armstrong, you can find her at www.understandmen.com
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Ep. 52 - Getting Regular Help from Your Husband
Ep. 52 - Getting Regular Help from Your Husband
Dec 9, 2019
19:31
This week I'm answering a much-asked question: how do I get my husband to help out REGULARLY, not just as "helping" me? We've discussed some of these concepts before, especially in Episode 30 - Just Ask! and Episode 30 - What It Means to Give, Interview With The Husband Part 2, but I've never taken the time to do a full, dedicated episode to this issue. And it really is an issue. The ideas of helping, housework, equally divided responsibility, are all loaded for many of us. And more than that, they strongly play into some of the main differences between men and women. How is enthusiasm perceived by men vs. women? What motivates men to want to help? Why do we hate to ask for help? Why do we feel threatened if it's not clear that it's all FAIR? I'd love to hear your thoughts! Email me at kayla (at) firstyearmarried.com or drop me a line on Instagram @firstyearmarried You can also access my FREE class in which I teach you all about how to use coaching tools to COACH YOURSELF on your marriage. Pretty cool, right? You can get that at www.firstyearmarried.com
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Ep. 53 - When Should I Go to Marriage Counseling?
Ep. 53 - When Should I Go to Marriage Counseling?
Dec 16, 2019
47:45
This week I have Simone Sobel, an Atlanta-based couples counselor and trauma therapist on, to discuss some important and common questions about couples therapy: When is it time to go see a couples therapist? What red flags do newlyweds need to know about that may indicate that their husband might have a personality disorder or they may be in an abusive relationship? How to find a good couples therapist? What to expect when you go to a couples therapist? Is it ever too late for couples therapy? How to know if couples therapy is working? How do you decide who to go to between a therapist, a coach, or a mentor or religious advisor? Simone says that marriage classes and coaching are a great foundation for any couple, teaching psycho-educational tools that are beneficial to everyone, even if they’ve been married a long time. When is it time to go see a couples therapist? There are lots of common reasons that couples come to couples therapy. Communication is very poor (ie, they can never get on the same page about a certain issue, or there is stonewalling, chronic defensiveness, hyper-criticism, etc.) Breach of trust in the marriage (ex, one partner spending a lot of money in secret or looking at pornography) Devestating or dificult life events (losing a job, health crisis, loss of a child or parent) Lifecycle change (retirement, new baby, empty nest, a major move) Negative cycles that aren’t going away and you need outside help. Fine tuning a good relationship (no, there don’t have to be major issues to go to a therapist!) Spiritual mentors can be very helpful for spiritual based issues, and often they give very good guidance and advice. If you find you are going again and again to your priest, rabbi, etc., and aren’t making progress, that would be a time to consider a therapist. What are some red flags that your husband may have a psychological or personality issue or disorder? If a woman feels consistantly criticized and put down in a way that makes him/her feel insecure, demaned, or shamed. Ongoing provocation, even with a calm or apologetic period between cycles, are considered a cycle of abuse. If your husband is trying to isolate you from your friends, this is a red flag. If your spouse can never take responsibility for an issue, this is also a red flag. Kayla’s note: friends are not the best place to “diagnose” your husband. A therapist will be able to distinguish between normal human misbehavior and serious dysfunction or abuse. Simone: Find one person to speak with, more of a mentor, who is supportive. A coach or therapist can be neutral and non-judgemental. Couples can get into negative cycles and say mean things to each other, but it’s not necessarily abusive. Read more on the First Year Married website.
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Ep. 54 - Feel More Love
Ep. 54 - Feel More Love
Dec 23, 2019
9:39
This week sharing one of my favorite Jewish ideas, which I was reminded of by a Tony Robbins quote. Who... last I checked... was most definitely not a rabbi 🤣 The word for love in Hebrew is ahava. The root word of ahava is "hav" which means "give." This is here to remind us that the root of love is giving. What's the last project you truly invested in? Didn't you love it? The more we work, the more we try, the more we love. And yet we somehow expect our marriages to do all the work for us. As if a marriage is a THING that can WORK. But somehow they should make us happy.... or they're broken. So this week we're turning it all on its head. Please join us 💜
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Ep. 55 - Money Dates with Yael Trusch of Jewish Latin Princess
Ep. 55 - Money Dates with Yael Trusch of Jewish Latin Princess
Dec 30, 2019
41:05
Get Yael's free Money Dates PDF at jewishlatinprincess.com/moneydate This week I had the pleasure of inviting Yael Trusch, host of Jewish Latin Princess who is sharing the amazing concept of Money Dates. Yael has a background in finance and is now an author and inspirational speaker, so she brings the vision from one world to the practical of the other! Money is one of the main sources of stress for couples, and often we struggle to have these conversations. While the impulse may be to avoid these conversations, Yael shows us how carving out the time actually helps make it easier to discuss money. And it's not just about counting dollars. Yael brings in values, vision, and dreams, and shows us how the way we spend our money can become a reflection of our deepest values. So what's a money date? A money date is specific time you carved out in the calendar to speak about your finances. Yael suggests discussing it on a global level first--what lessons did you learn from your family? How has your experience with money been so far?--and then gradually adding in budgeting, investing, and planning. Follow Yael at www.jewishlatinprincess.com and on Instagram @jewishlatinprincess Download the free PDF: www.jewishlatinprincess.com/moneydate
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Ep. 56 - The Marriage You Want / Should I Get a Divorce?
Ep. 56 - The Marriage You Want / Should I Get a Divorce?
Jan 5, 2020
31:08
2019 was the year of the podcast at First Year Married (we passed 40k!!!). I’ve been honored to meet you, to have your sisters and friends get hooked, to introduce this work I’m so passionate about. Thank you everyone!! 2020 is going to be the year of group coaching. It’s time to take this work and really dive deep and apply it. Improving our marriages improves every area of our life, and it’s the best place to work on this thought work, which is then a piece of cake to apply elsewhere in our lives. Group Coaching Details: NOT just for newlyweds (and therefore I need name ideas) Monthly focus video Worksheets and journal pages Twice monthly calls Whatsapp group Sign up at FirstYearMarried.com/course -- all participants get 3 months of group coaching for free, then can continue on from there! The Marriage You Want. Here's what I hear... My husband is great but still want a divorce I don't want a divorce, but he drives me crazy I'm not showing up how I want, I get in a funk or I'm mean I'm not measuring up to the wife I have in mind, the one who always has a clean house, makes delicious meals, never gets angry, always feels loving -- even if intellectually I know that’s all ridiculous Here’s the thing. If you are unhappy in your marriage it's ALWAYS because of your THOUGHTS. Example: husband not helping "If he’d only be more involved... if he’d do what I needed... if he’d tell me to get to bed when I’m obviously falling apart..." So let’s say you cook a delicious dinner. You leave work even though you’d rather stay and finish a few things up, shlep to the store, get all the ingredients from this fancy Pinterest recipe you found, slave in the kitchen, you’re starving because now it’s already 8 PM and he’s come in three times to sniff around… and now he reaches into the cabinet and takes out a box of crackers and sits down on the couch to eat them. Now you’re fuming, you’re resentful, what’s happening here? You're cooking, and he's eating. That's it. This is all about awareness. It really does feel like he’s the problem, I know. And the obvious solution is -- at least in theory -- to switch him out for a newer model. But here’s the thing-- wherever you go, there you are. So even if you ultimately make a choice to end the marriage, even if I give you that, don’t do it because you haven’t taken responsibility for your own feelings. Don’t do it because your brain is running wild and you aren’t paying attention. Don't forget to sign up for the free course at FirstYearMarried.com/course or watch the free introductory video at FirstYearMarried.com
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Ep. 57 - Do Your Homework
Ep. 57 - Do Your Homework
Jan 12, 2020
15:31
Welcome to the episode where I bonk you on the head my friends! So many of you are rocking the intellectual game with this thought work. You see it in your friends and family. You know your recurring thoughts. You are even seeing some changes in how you show up. But you have NOT taken out a pen and paper and actually done the heavy lifting! I get it... until you've done it, it doesn't seem that important. Trust me on this one. So this week I'm going to walk you through what exactly you can do to take this work deeper. What exactly to do with said pen and paper. Can't wait to see what comes next for you. For more help with this, watch the free class at www.firstyearmarried.com