Popular Shows by Kayla Levin: Page 2

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Ep. 58 - When You Can't Get Over It

Jan 19, 2020

21:25

I was working with a client and she was stuck on the idea of being authentic with our feelings while at the same time taking responsibility for them and choosing what I call “helpful thoughts.” So this week we're going to talk about the difference between processing our feelings and holding onto our feelings. The easiest way is to think of it as sensations vs words. Thoughts are words (sentences, usually), and feelings are physical sensations. We read the tight shoulders and clenched stomach as anxiety or anger. Focus on what the body is experiencing. We’re told to process our emotions, not to ignore how we feel, to honor our feelings, but we need to get really clear on what that means. Going in thought circles... ruminating on that one horrible thing or that offensive thing she/he said... that's not feeling your feelings. That's just having a thought and getting really attached to it being true and having that thought over and over until you can't see your way out of it. This week I'm teaching you how to process a feeling. The deeper question I think is really, when is it a feeling and when is it intuition? If I know that I’m responsible for my feelings, does that mean I can’t ever use them to help guide me? How do I know the difference? Your intuitive sense is not urgent. It is calm and clear. It doesn’t speak to you in rules like “he shouldn’t” or accusations like, “how dare he” or desperate questions like “how can I possibly not be hurt or be happy like this?” Trust that when you quiet the screaming, loud, urgent emotions, that inner voice will certainly come up for you.

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Ep. 59 - Talking About Your Feelings - Listener Q&A

Jan 27, 2020

29:55

This week I'm taking your questions about sharing your FEELINGS with your husband! Question #1: HOW do I share my feelings with my husband, and how do I create a relationship where we can do that? Answer: First of all, STOP and be absolutely sure that you aren't sharing your feelings in an effort to change him! We always want to be responsible for our OWN feelings, so you must stop and do some thought work and figure this out. Sharing your feelings so that he'll change is, essentially, manipulation, which of course none of us want to do. (If you need support on the thought work piece, go to www.firstyearmarried.com and watch video #1 of my course!) Question #2: How do you separate frustrations in a conversation and say it in a way that your spouse can understand the REASONS for your frustration? Answer: If your frustration is with him, you want to start by taking care of your own emotional well-being (see above). "As long as he's responsible for how you're feeling, you're really limited." Beyond that, sometimes we need to actually plan out a conversation with our husband. Let's say your life is set up in a way that you're not getting enough sleep. First, work on the resentment piece. Then you can come to the conversation with openness and belief that the two of you can find a solution. To hear my interviews with Alison Armstrong where we talked about our husbands' problem-solving abilities, go here. Question #3: What do I do about a husband who can't access his own feelings and frustration? Answer: Focus on your lane. His feelings and thoughts are HIS lane, not yours. So question how YOU want to show up in this situation. What's your story about how he's acting? Why is it a problem? Actually get this down on paper. Question #4: If something bothers you about how your spouse deals with disciplining the kids, how do you communicate that? Answer: Women often have more experience with kids coming into a marriage, so we often see ourselves as the authority. So first of all, go back to the business partner model. Is it possible this highly respected partner might have another good idea? Possibly even a better idea? Could I maybe be wrong about this? He's different from you by design. Question #5: I always hear about your feelings are not your thoughts and the other way around, but how do we work on internalizing this? Answer: There's a difference between processing a feeling and just thinking a thought over and over. This is described clearly in Episode 58, "When You Can't Get Over It." Question #6: I'd love to get help with first identifying the feelings--like, what am I even feeling right now? Answer: It's just a vocabulary problem. You can literally Google "list of feelings" or "synonyms for sad." It is helpful, but don't worry about not being there yet.

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Ep. 60 - The Joy of Staying in Your Lane

Feb 3, 2020

12:13

We're talking this week about the three main parts of staying in our lane: Emotionally, Physically, and in How You Show Up. Instead of feeling good because of what he’s been doing or not doing and what you made that mean, let’s feel good because you are taking care of your own emotional wellbeing. For some of you, especially if you’re new (and there are so many new people so welcome!!) I know that it sounds like a cop out. Like I’m letting him off the hook. But here’s the crazy truth. He doesn’t have the ability to make you happy anyway. Only you can do that. So the best place to start is that whenever we notice our mind wandering, or our feelings reacting, to the way he’s acting or who he seems to be, to gently remind ourselves to get back into our own lanes. He missed date night, because he stayed late at work. Your automatic thought is LIKELY to be, “if he really cared, he wouldn’t miss date night.” Guess how many women out there would be thrilled for their husband to want to work that hard? I’ve got one group telling me they can’t be happy because their husband doesn’t work hard, and the other half telling me they can’t be happy because their husband works too hard. Like I said, he can’t make you happy. There isn’t a happy medium. There’s only what you make it mean. What is too much work, anyway? Is there an amount of hours somewhere that we all mutually agreed upon? Where did you come up with the idea of what’s too much, what’s not enough? That’s the kind of work we want to do, questioning our thoughts, figuring out where they came from and where they are leading us. How do I take care of ME in this marriage? We need a whole episode on this phenomenon I’m seeing where women lose the self-preservation gene the moment they tie the knot. Suddenly he’s responsible for your water intake and whether you’re overworked. For sure, even more so once you’ve had kids! But is that how you would have acted if you were single? Waited around for some guy to bring you a water bottle and remind you to hydrate? No of course not! We want to feel like a good wife. We have to dig a little deeper to know what that means. What did you decide is a good wife? What things are just sticking with you and giving you guilt or shame, but you don’t even believe them? Who are you measuring yourself against? Then get crystal clear on what ideas are rattling around in our heads and THEN you can do the work of clarifying what values you truly believe. Bring those values, bring that woman into the marriage, and just see what that creates. It’s going to be an amazing month If you want to join us to take this work further, this is our entire focus in the month of January, in our Focus video and workbook and live group coaching calls. Group coaching is only available to grads of first year married online, to allow us all to take this work much deeper. Join us by signing up for First Year Married Online -- the foundational course that ALL newlyweds (and I’m talking easily through 5years married but we’ve had women married MUCH longer) should absolutely be taking -- and you get your first three months of group coaching totally free! www.firstyearmarried.com I can’t wait to see you inside. Have a great week! Buh bye!

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Ep. 61 - How it's Supposed to Feel

Feb 9, 2020

16:03

For many newlyweds, they are feeling a lot of shame about negative emotions about their marriage. It's important to know that there is a known physiological high that comes at the beginning of a relationship. For many women, there is also the wedding high. And just like ANYTHING new you begin, there’s a back-to-reality moment. I want you to know that that’s totally fine. Being a newlywed is, on an emotional level, like slow cooker vs instapot…… all the emotions are intensified. Here are some emotions I think you can totally feel sometimes in a perfectly healthy marriage: Annoyed. Enchanted. Frustrated. Resentful. Curious. Insecure -- in him and in you. It’s all fine. It’s all invited here. Where you want to be careful is getting too attached to your story that’s creating the thought. You can feel all the feels. But you also don’t have to get attached to the story that led to them. Was he maybe the wrong guy? Is he inconsiderate? Is he not driven enough? Does he not care enough about your religious values? Notice those thoughts and know that they’re okay, too. The amazing thing that happens is that when we’re scared to think these thoughts, is that we fixate on them. They terrify us. I recently got coached on this. One of my kids did something very dangerous and I was reeling for a month afterwards. I kept having this thought, I can’t keep them safe. But I didn’t want to think that thought, it made me feel sick it was so scary, so I tried to push it away. Guess what happened? I had that thought approximately twenty billion times a day. All my mental energy was in this back and forth energy of thinking/pushing away/coming back… it was exhausting, and I was just getting more and more anxious. It wasn’t until my coach had me get really curious about that thought, to notice it and accept it and even see where it’s true and where it’s not as true and notice what the thought was creating that I was able to move on from the anxiety. You can feel all the feels, without constantly regenerating them by fixating on the thoughts. You can be cranky sometimes. If you want more support to take this further, I just opened a few more spots for one on one coaching. I take you through the full FYM process with private, one on one coaching, you get lifetime access to the full online course, you learn all the material AND how to apply it in your unique situation. To apply, go to firstyearmarried.com and click “personal coaching” up top. Have an amazing week.

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Ep. 62 - Your Marriage is a Baby

Feb 17, 2020

11:55

My business coach Stacey Boehman was giving this analogy about entrepreneurs and their new businesses and even though I’ve heard her say it before suddenly it totally clicked that this is such a fantastic perspective shift for newlyweds as well! Ok so here’s the analogy: Your business is a baby. Your marriage isn’t here to make you happy. (Sorry!) Just like if you had a brand new baby or a brand new business, you wouldn’t expect it to perform for you. Your marriage just happened! There’s nothing there yet. John Gottman, who is a leading marriage researcher, describes the idea as an emotional bank account. 5 to 1 positive to negative--that's the ratio we need to maintain, according to his research, for a healthy relationship. But the other part of the emotional bank account is that it takes time to build up a balance. I remember getting my first ATM card. And who knows what I put on it, maybe $40? At that point, getting something for $20 would be a huge deal. That’s half my account! Also, maybe I didn’t know how much and how often I’d be making money, so that’s also a concern. How am I supposed to take money out of an account if I have no idea when more is coming? It's exactly like this for a newlywed. So this week I want you to remember this--it’s ok if you aren’t getting the dividends on your marriage yet. That comes later. And it really does, I’m telling you at 10 years married I’m literally happier every passing year. But that comes with this attitude of investment. And the great news is it doesn’t have to be major dramatic romantic actions! In fact, John Gottman specifically says so in his research -- it’s better to have lots of small “turning toward” actions than a few large romantic gestures. Also, I think it’s really critical whenever I give you concepts like this, or you learn them elsewhere, that you be onto yourself. You’re going to want to relate it to HIM. Is he making romantic gestures? Is he turning towards? Back in your lane, sweetheart. (That's how I say it to myself.) You can only change yourself, but you are fifty percent of this relationship. Do you think you can improve who you are and not improve your marriage? I don’t think it’s possible. Go take care of your baby :) Sources and links mentioned in this episode: Brooke Castillo’s The Life Coach School Stacey Boehman - Business Mindset John Gottman: The Emotional Bank Account The First Year Married Elite Coaching Program The First Year Married Online Self-Study The First Year Married FREE Class

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Ep. 63 - He's Going on a Trip

Feb 25, 2020

15:36

In this week's episode, inspired by my husband's recent business trip, I lead you through an exercise to re-evaluate your self-care. Many women drop their self-care (especially the most basic things, like sleeping and eating) when we get married or get into a long-term relationship. These are all areas that we generally took responsibility for (even if we were lagging, we certainly weren't blaming our roommates or siblings because we didn't remember to eat breakfast!). And it's more than physical self care, too; it's also about the variety of relationships we fostered and needed. We need someone for advice but we don't expect that person to also give us a laugh or an exciting time out and also to provide our romantic needs and be a listening, supportive ear at the end of the day... etc., etc., And yet when we get married, we often expect our marriage relationship to provide what ALL those individual relationships provided. Which is an unhealthy and unfair expectation. I thought I'd mastered this, but then when my husband told me he was going to be going on a business trip, I immediately realized there were a few things I needed to do if I wasn't going to have him to fall back on. Wait a second--why am I PLANNING to fall back on him in the first place? Why not taking care of myself in the first place?? So here are three ways to reevaluate your self-care regimen. 1. Imagine your husband is going to be going away for a week. What are the three things you'd for sure need to do to make sure your physical needs are taken care of? (Even if you usually do these things but they are now moving up to "nonnegotiable"--listen to the episode for my example about showers.) 2. What things would you "get" to do with some time and energy freed up that you may be holding in reserve for your husband? Did you imagine a coffee date with a friend or a paint night? How can you schedule that in now? 3. Imagine your husband is away -- what would you miss? What would be sad about that? And then you can take those things and celebrate all these wonderful elements he provides for your marriage! We always need to encourage our minds to be more positive and notice the positive, because they aren't naturally inclined to do so. What are three little things you'd be sad about if he was away? Interested in learning more? The first lesson in the First Year Married Online Course is available for free at www.firstyearmarried.com Enjoy!

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Ep. 64 - Self-Esteem and Your Marriage

Mar 2, 2020

25:21

This week I’m answering a listener question and I think it’s a topic that will be so fun to dive into. Let me start by reading what she wrote: Could you discuss “the importance of self-esteem: how both poor and healthy self-esteem can influence our relationships, and how to strengthen it. I realise that this is absolutely a backbone of all your material, but maybe it's worth revisiting a basic.” Self-esteem is definitely a hot topic, and it’s one of those things that we talk about so much that we actually can lose touch with SPECIFICALLY what it means. So let’s start by defining our terms. Miriam-Webster defines self-esteem as: “a confidence and satisfaction in oneself : SELF-RESPECT” So essentially, self-esteem is nothing but the thoughts we have about ourselves. But that’s not how we talk about self-esteem. The way we talk about self-esteem, if someone didn’t have a clue what it was, it sounds more like a physical condition you have or don’t have. She doesn’t have self-esteem. That will hurt her self-esteem. And since we discuss self-esteem in this way so consistently, we start to act like it’s a physical thing we can control and grow and hurt and effect. Not a series of thoughts. We all have the thoughts we go back to the most. The way our brain is wired, the more we think a thought the easier and more automatic it becomes to think it --or sometimes a specific major event will just give us one really deeply embedded thought right away. And the reason I want to break it down for you is this: If I think I need to work on my self-esteem, or I think I don’t have good self-esteem, those are also thoughts. And neither one is terribly empowering. So I want to offer to you that self-esteem isn’t really a thing. It’s not. You can’t touch it or measure it. No two people will exactly agree on it. It’s totally subjective. Can you see that? And when you don’t have a thing called “self-esteem” that is causing you to act a certain way or that you need to work on or that he has a problem with (I’ve coached on all of those, multiple times), what are you left with? What you’re left with is a question: why did I act that way? And it always comes back to a thought. I don’t know what I’m doing. I don’t know how to be married. I’m no good at this. I can’t learn. The commuter train you always took before you hop on without even noticing. The train that goes downtown to the dangerous neighborhood you let fly by. And you can just sit in the station and watch them all go by. I’m more interested in the person you can be than how accurately you’ve described all your shortcomings. I still have negative thoughts about myself. But I just don’t spend so much time there unless I feel I need to do some major soul searching. Which sometimes I do. And I make changes. So the most motivating thing, I think, is to remember: how do I want to show up? How do you want to show up in your marriage? Are you willing to skip some of your comfortable, recognizable trains to get there? Are you able to focus on HIM and what you’re BUILDING and not on you? Stop riding those trains. Let them get old and rusty. Get clear on where you want to go. Then you’ll have a better idea of how to get there. To take this work deeper and learn the critical research that will help you understand and support your husband and your marriage better, check out the First Year Married course at www.firstyearmarried.com. Join in March and be part of our March challenge!

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Ep. 65 - Purim & He's Not a Reflection of You

Mar 9, 2020

13:41

We are celebrating a holiday in the Jewish world... one that isn't quite as famous as Yom Kippur or Passover... today is Purim! What happens on Purim? Among many other things, like donating money to charity, hearing the story of Purim read in synagogue, dressing up and bringing gifts to friends… men drink. Sometimes women drink, too, but generally it’s the men. And with that often comes behaviors that make us uncomfortable, nervous, critical... And this can make some women really uncomfortable. But guess what, it’s not Purim’s fault, because we have similar situations coming in from non Jewish listeners, too! "He doesn’t know how to be around my family." "He blew it at work." "He’s so embarrassing when he fights with my friends." There are two pieces to this that we have to get clear on. 1. Identification -- we have a primal instinct to want to be accepted into the team or the tribe. Once you know that, you can start to settle that very anxious part of your brain that thinks this is all going to kill you. 2. Judgement -- wait, me? No way! Yep, call it like it is, my friend. Start to notice when you're in judgement. Be honest with yourself, so that you can start to learn when and how to move out of judgement. Check out the podcast for the how-to on working through these two issues. Happy Purim for those celebrating!

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Ep. 66 - Coronavirus & Zero Based Scheduling on the Fly

Mar 16, 2020

22:26

Many of you have listened to and adopted Zero Based Scheduling (from Episode 2: Why You Don't Have Enough Time and Episode 6: Zero Based Scheduling Update). But now, thanks to work-from-homes, school closures and, for some of you, kids at home (gasp!) that beautiful zero-based schedule has gone right out the window. Never fear! Zero-Based scheduling can be done on the fly. And it's still awesome. Planning out your day the night before (and I give you the main tips on how to do this successfully) will transform the following day. PS If you and hubs are about ready to kill each other in lockdown, go NOW and check out the free video at firstyearmarried.com and give yourself a mental breather!

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Ep. 67 - The Newlywed's Coronavirus Survival Guide (& Passover!)

Mar 25, 2020

26:50

* Coronavirus Update: After hearing from several of you, Noah and I talked extensively about how to best support you all during this situation. We've decided to make a temporary pay-what-you-can pricing on the First Year Married online course. Please share with your friends and let's support each other as much as we can. This doesn't have to be hard on your marriage--it could actually be amazing. www.FirstYearMarried.com/course gets you to the signup page. Let's talk about surviving this whole COVID-19 situation as a newlywed. Schedules are out the window, your normal bucket-fillers like social time or work or the gym are non-options, and the stress may be running very high. So we're going to talk about what we can do to make the most of this situation. First, of course, we gotta look at thoughts. How do we manage our minds so we don’t go insane or start to hate our husbands? Second, (you won't be so surprised) we'll talk about hacks. Science and psychology based hacks are easy ways to improve your quality of life with a minimum of effort. I'm also going to be talking a bit about getting ready for Pesach/Passover at the end, for those of you who celebrate. So let's start by taking a look inside your head. How are you thinking about this whole thing? Coronavirus, being home probably, still newly married... For a lot of you I'm talking to, the thought sounds something like this: “this is all very bad.” It's a pretty vague and generic thought, actually, but it's plenty strong enough to stir up some anxiety, overwhelm... What if you were wrong about that? What if this whole Coronavirus situation could actually be really good for you? For your new marriage? Actually, this could be a fantastic opportunity for growth for you. You are in the major leagues now. You've been listening to this podcast, reading books, working on your relationship... now's the time to put all that to work. Now's the time for some major self-awareness, some fantastic growth potential. What are you feeling and where is it coming from? And how are you a little wrong? How is the opposite also true? Take some time to get some awareness. If you're feeling off-kilter or overwhelmed or stressed, or you just got to the bottom of the container of Oreos and nobody helped you... Great time to take a look inside your brain. Ok so now for some hacks: 1. News restriction. When do you want to check? Take a day on. Take a day off. You could even ask your husband to keep you updated and just turn it all off. How many different places are you getting your news from? Twitter and WhatsApp and TV? Pick one. Narrow it down. The news is designed to suck you in. Put up some guardrails so you can maintain some mental space for yourself. Technology/social media restriction. ebook or book? Go for the physical book if you can. We are much more on our screens than usual. What can you do that’s tech-free, even if for only a few minutes a day? If you can still go for a walk, can you leave your phone at home? Or just make some boundaries--leave the phone out of the bedroom and dining area, for instance. More phone calls. There’s a hierarchy of meaningful communication, according to humanetech.com. Actual live phone/video calls are best, so try to make at least one a day. After that, voice messages are better than text, and using emojis actually improves the connection quotient of a text message. Group messaging, which isn’t really personal, gives the feeling of socializing but doesn’t pack the same punch. So call your bestie. Read the full episode notes on the podcast page at www.FirstYearMarried.com

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Ep. 68 - Why is My Husband Wasting His Time?

Mar 29, 2020

15:42

In this week’s podcast, I’m answering questions that have come in about being irritated with a husband who is wasting his time during lockdown. This is a pretty common challenge (a LOT of you commented on this one!) so know you’re not alone--but I wanted to share a few ideas to help you understand this differently and hopefully experience less frustration. He seems like an extension of us when we want to get things done. Now I have four hands! But… he’s not. He does actually get to decide how to spend his time. I find the easiest approach here is to catch yourself and laugh at it. Just because you’re going through the same experience doesn’t mean you’re experiencing it the same. This whole coronavirus experience, even though for many of us it doesn’t require a lot of physical energy, it can be very draining. So he may be vegging out. And the truth is… maybe it ISN’T the most helpful way for him to process his stress or anxiety, but... you get that, right? Sometimes we reach for chocolate when we probably should go for a run. It seems to me that on a meta level, we are being forced into appreciating the feminine. Male brains, due to testosterone, are wired for accomplishment and scoring points. Women’s brains are wired for emotions and communication. And we both have both, but right now practically ALL we have is the relationships and communication. Most of our externals are the same. And what most of us raised in the West have gotten is that our value comes from how much we accomplish, but that’s an inherently masculine approach. What if we’re wrong about that? Or what if it’s not right or wrong and this is an opportunity to see that value for what it is--an arbitrary value? What does it mean just to be?

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Ep. 69 - For the Love of Lists

Apr 22, 2020

15:59

It's been a crazy few weeks for us all! I'm sorry I haven't been here in a little bit but I needed to step back for a few weeks. Hopefully you had a chance to catch up on some older episodes during the break. ;) There's no possible way for a podcast episode to address the range of experiences and emotions that COVID-19 is bringing up for us. For some, it's the frustration of being stuck inside, needing our normal outlets, missing our friends and support systems. For others, it's the devastation of losing loved ones or anxiety about high-risk friends and family (or ourselves). So instead of addressing this whole gamut of experiences, I wanted to give you one clear tool you can focus on. I find this personally to be very grounding when life feels out of control so I hope it will be valuable to you, as well. This episode is about my love of using lists, and how lists pick up where scheduling can leave off. Much of what I learned about lists and routines I learned as a newlywed from Marla Cilley, the Flylady. Enjoy!

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Ep. 70 - Your Thoughts About Your Thoughts

Apr 27, 2020

12:58

Are there some things you just shouldn't think in a marriage? What does it mean if I'm annoyed by my husband? Do happy couples ever think like this? This week we're going to dive into something that's been coming up a lot in my coaching-- worry and panic and fear about certain thoughts. Put another way, your thoughts ABOUT your thoughts are causing more trouble than the thoughts themselves! How do we address this? Can Kayla manage to describe this without a visual aid? You'll have to listen to find out ;) New here? Check out the free video at FirstYearMarried.com to get the full foundation for everything I talk about on this podcast.

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Ep. 71 - Newly Married & Unemployed

May 4, 2020

24:54

Whether it's you or your husband, because of COVID-19 or you simply haven't landed the right job yet, unemployment can cause huge stress--particularly for newlyweds. In this episode, I'm diving into some of the neuroscience that explains why our reaction might be more intense than logic dictates, what to do about it, and how to use this (or any) challenge as a way of building and supporting your new marriage. I'm also sharing our personal journey as unemployed newlyweds, and why I wouldn't take that experience back for the world. Learn more: www.firstyearmarried.com/course Source: The Female Brain by Dr. Louann Brizendine

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Ep. 72 - How to Prepare to Be an Amazing Parent

May 11, 2020

19:36

It amazes me how much more comfortable we are talking about working on our parenting, but nobody wants to mention that they're working on their marriage. Somehow, we can grow in parenting and it's noble, but if we need to grow in our marriage, it speaks of some deep failure in us. But let's take a step back and consider... What is actually going to make the biggest impact on your child's life? Another class, or a healthy and happy home? In addition--not that we need anything beyond that--the meta-skills you learn in your marriage all translate to your parenting. Self-awareness. Self-control. Self-compassion. Realizing that no, your child is NOT actually the problem and yes, you CAN experience this differently. And knowing how to do that. Understanding how to step out of our experience and biases and see from another's perspective. Modeling that negative emotions are not dangerous and we can handle some discomfort. Count me in on that parenting class. It starts with your marriage. Join us at firstyearmarried.com/course

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Ep. 73 - Using Questions to Deepen Your Relationship - A Conversation with Maggie Reyes

May 18, 2020

54:09

What do you get when you put two marriage coaches on a Zoom call? A fun, loving deep dive into the world of making marriages better. Maggie Reyes recently came out with a (now best-selling) book, Questions for Couples Journal and I thought this was the perfect chance to invite Maggie on to share with the FYM audience! I get so many questions about how to make date nights more meaningful and what books I recommend. I also love this book as an idea for couples who aren't going out on traditional dates--whether due to COVID or newlywed finances. We covered a lot of ground in this episode--well beyond just the book--and I know you'll get a lot out of it. Find out more about Maggie Reyes at MaggieReyes.com Follow First Year Married on Instagram @firstyearmarried Sign up for the First Year Married online course at FirstYearMarried.com/Course

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Ep. 74 - The Danger of External Validation

May 24, 2020

21:01

In this week's episode, we're diving into what happens in your brain when someone gives you a compliment and why never manages to improve our self image in the long term. It's a brain-nerdy one, so I know you'll love it :) Think about who you could be when you could generate your OWN confidence and self-esteem, whenever you need it. I'm going to tell you how. First Year Married Online Course First Year Married on Instagram

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Ep. 75 - Happily Ever After

Jun 1, 2020

6:41

Sometimes we get so caught up in "fixing" things that we lose sight of what we are actually aiming for. But what does marriage look like with *true* connection? What can we achieve when we allow ourselves to drop our agenda and truly experience our spouse? Disney may have given us one image of what "Happily Ever After" looks like. Design your own dream. Let's aim high.

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Ep. 76 - Getting Re-Centered in the Middle of Chaos

Jun 9, 2020

7:48

This isn't the podcast I wanted to record this week.⁠ I wanted to record a podcast to help you feel safe and connected even when you disagree with your husband.⁠ Even when you disagree about the big stuff.⁠ But right now the big stuff has me off-balance. So I'm taking some time to re-center myself.⁠ Remind myself of what I know to be true.⁠ This is the only way for me to be the best wife, mother, coach, and rabble-rouser that I can be.⁠ What do you know to be true, my friends?⁠ Stay centered.⁠ Ibram X. Kendi on Unlocking Us with Brene Brown: https://brenebrown.com/podcast/brene-with-ibram-x-kendi-on-how-to-be-an-antiracist/

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Ep. 77 - Anxiety & Resentment

Jun 15, 2020

16:04

The best thing about working on your marriage is that you get exposed to patterns of thinking that have existed for years--maybe even your entire life--and never really surfaced until it affects you in this relationship. What looks like a big problem is actually an amazing opportunity to improve your own self-mastery in a way you never could before. Anxiety and resentment both come from an essential judgement, either of ourselves or of another person. With many newlyweds, these emotions seem negative and sometimes even scary--because we make it mean that we can’t have a good marriage if we’re feeling bad emotions. I often find that identifying the emotion of resentment can be tricky when we’ve spent our lives believing that there are “resentful people” and the rest of us. But gaining awareness is the critical first step towards gaining traction. These emotions aren’t dangerous and you’re for sure not alone. Check out the episode to get some tips on dealing with these feelings in your marriage. What You’ll Learn In This Episode: What drives anxiety and resentment Why we often mislabel them How to identify them more accurately, and why that’s important Why neither of these are a problem for your marriage What to be wary about when learning from a marriage educator or coach When you’re ready to take this work deeper, join us in the First Year Married Online community.

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Ep. 78 - Your Inner Guru

Jun 20, 2020

16:35

In this week’s episode, I’m going to teach you a fun, easy tool that you can use to access the “wise” part of your brain when your thoughts feel out of control. When we get caught up in anxiety, insecurity, resentment, or other strong emotions, especially if we are also newly-married and those emotions can be super intense, it can feel like our thoughts are spinning out of control. We get caught up in playing out every scenario, every conversation, every imaginary argument, and it feels productive but the truth is it gets us nowhere. To recenter ourselves, to get back to a place where our thoughts can serve us and help us to get to a more balanced place, we need another “voice” that is distinct from the one spinning out of control. So on this episode, I’ll teach you how to access your inner guru and play out some fun scenarios of what that could look like. Want to take this work further and join a community of women committed to enjoying the newlywed season and growing as they do it? Check us out at www.firstyearmarried.com/course See more episodes at www.firstyearmarried.com/podcast

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Ep. 79 - Find a Guru (Summer Series Announcement!)

Jun 28, 2020

15:33

Last week we talked about finding your inner guru, the voice of calm that you can call upon when your brain feels like it’s spinning out of control. This week I want to introduce you to the idea of finding an external guru. The concept is simple. Find an area where you struggle, whether practically or emotionally. And instead of troubleshooting, look for the person for whom this is natural, satisfying, even... dare I say it... fun? Actually, you don't need to go looking, because this summer I will be interviewing one powerful woman each week to be our guru in all the areas I hear most from you that you are struggling with. Whaaat!!! This is going to be so. much. fun. Make sure you subscribe so you don't miss a single episode! We have some AMAZING interviews lined up! https://firstyearmarried.com/ep-79-find-a-guru-and-summer-series-announcement/

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Ep. 80 - Cooking Guru - Jamie Geller Part 1

Jul 8, 2020

26:24

WE GOT JAMIE GELLER!!! Can you tell I'm excited?! Jamie Geller, today the head of the largest kosher network in the world, has been an inspiration to me from the time I was a newlywed and stumbled upon her first cookbook, Quick and Kosher. Reading about her transition from successful single professional to what-am-I-supposed-to-do-with-this-oven made me feel so validated in my total lack of kitchen know-how. In this first half of our interview, Jamie opens up about her own newlywed transition, foods her audience loves the most, and how to make the never-ending chore of cooking something you can actually enjoy (actually, I was really surprised by her answer!). Whether you keep kosher or not, Jamie is such an inspiration and I know you're going to gain a lot from this interview. Enjoy! Sources from this episode: JamieGeller.com Jewlish on Instagram Jewlish on Facebook Make sure you've subscribed to hear part 2 of the episode, plus more amazing guests in our summer #whosyourguru podcast series!

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Ep. 81 - Cooking Guru - Jamie Geller Part 2

Jul 12, 2020

22:03

In the second half of my interview with Jamie Geller, we moved beyond cooking to some other major areas where she's been an inspiration to those around her. As the head of the largest kosher food network, Jamie Geller has a lot to teach us about entrepreneurship. In this episode, she shares a bit about her background as a successful producer at HBO and the transition to building her own business. She also gives some really practical advice for those of us who are launching our own businesses. I also asked Jamie to talk about her family's decision to make aliyah. What was the inspiration? what were the challenges? Jamie was extremely candid about her inspiration but also her resistance to the move, and what it's really like to pick up your whole family and move across the world. Finally, we chatted about our great big cooking failures as newlyweds (and how our husbands helped us repackage the remains!). Enjoy! --------------- Sources from this episode: JamieGeller.com Jewlish on Instagram Jewlish on Facebook

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Ep. 82 - Torah & Marriage Guru - Shevi Samet

Jul 20, 2020

49:58

Today I'm excited to bring you a conversation with Shevi Samet, a Jewish educator who, among other things specializes in working with women before and after marriage. We're going super meta here today, talking about true meaning of marriage (we discuss this from the perspective of Torah concepts but feel free to use this as a springboard for your own belief work). We also dove into why we get married, the social and individual concepts that drive us that we sometimes aren’t even aware of, the difference between love and commitment, and some bizarre and yet very helpful metaphors about parenting and marriage. Most importantly, make sure you listen to the end when Shevi explains where love and giving fit into a marriage and how neither have anything to do with selflessness. You can find Shevi at @itsalearninglife on Instagram or by email at sametshevi at gmail.com

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Ep. 83 - Home Organization Guru - Shira Gill

Jul 26, 2020

49:08

Professional organizer/stylist Shira Gill talks about how to hack the thinking of a tidy person, what simple system she uses with all her clients to go from overwhelming mess to styled space, and how she and her husband communicate about their different tidiness-styles. This episode is PACKED with tips and amazing ideas. Enjoy! Follow Shira: www.ShiraGill.com instagram.com/shiragill

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Ep. 84 - Self Care Guru Krystal Conner

Aug 4, 2020

46:32

This week I have Krystal Conner on to talk to us about self care. Krystal takes what can sometimes seem like an undefined, unattainable idea and makes it super clear and actionable. I loved this conversation and I know you will, too! Website: https://www.krystalconner.com/ Instagram: @drkrystalconner

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Ep. 85 - Do-Over Guru Bari Mitzmann

Aug 11, 2020

46:15

We talk a lot about the challenges that can come up with connecting to your spouse, especially as a newlywed. However, for some of us, the initial stressors of married life come from external factors. Bari Mitzmann came on this week to share her story about her first year of marriage and the health struggles she dealt with right as they were getting married. Bari is a great example of someone who embraces the “do-over.” Bio: Bari Mitzmann is a wife, mother and content creator living in Nevada. Her content on her Instagram @barianna and the Woman of Valor Podcast is geared toward finding meaning and inspiration in every day as well as breaking stigmas tied toward mental and chronic illness. Sources: Instagram: @barianna Website: https://barianna.com Podcast: Woman of Valor

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Ep. 86 - Pre & Post Pregnancy Guru - Lauren Ohayon

Aug 17, 2020

43:58

This week I'm so excited to bring you Lauren Ohayon of the popular Restore Your Core and One Strong Mama programs. Lauren is a body expert who guides her clients to prepare for healthy births and recovery. I asked Lauren to come on and share with us, since I've had so many questions about preparing for and recovering from a first pregnancy. Whatever type of birth you are aiming for, I just love how Lauren describes how the body works and functions in a way that is totally understandable and holistic. We morphed from interview to conversation, but I think you'll really enjoy eavesdropping on that so I included our conversation on our brain's power over our bodies (so if pregnancy isn't on your radar you may want to skip ahead to about 2/3 through the episode to hear this). Sources from this episode: Restore Your Core One Strong Mama @thelaurenohayon on Instagram

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Ep. 87 - Pre & Post Pregnancy Guru - Lauren Ohayon Part 2

Aug 24, 2020

30:06

Last week we covered everything pre-and-during pregnancy. On this week's episode, Lauren Ohayon is answering questions about post-partum recovery and what myths we need to break about our bodies and what fitness is all about to take the best care of our bodies and ourselves. Sources from this episode: Restore Your Core One Strong Mama @thelaurenohayon on Instagram

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Ep. 88 - Self-Regulation Guru - Chava Neiditch

Aug 30, 2020

1:01:03

LADIES I have such a treat for you this week! This conversation is such a total shift from what we normally talk about and SO IMPORTANT! I often get questions from women about how being tired/pregnant/sick/hormonal fits into thought work. This conversation, with occupational therapist/homeschooling supermom Chava Neiditch goes deep into our own individual profiles of what we need to stay regulated, balanced, and centered and how we all vary so much from one another. This is a fabulous episode if you're a parent but a must listen if you're a human being. Enjoy!

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Ep. 89 - Your Relationship With Yourself

Sep 7, 2020

24:08

Your relationship with yourself is nothing more than the sum total of your thoughts about yourself. It’s not more profound. ⁠ It’s not more literal.⁠ And, despite popular belief, finding out WHY you have negative opinions of yourself is not always necessary. In fact, it can be counterproductive when this “research” into our thinking inadvertently reinforces the opinion.⁠ Wanna know the good news?⁠ If it's all about your thoughts, you can change them.⁠ ⁠Listen this week to find out how. Other episodes on this topic: First Year Married: Shame Won't Make You a Better Wife The Life Coach School Podcast

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Ep. 90 - Your Relationship With Your Husband

Sep 13, 2020

14:40

So many times, we go outside of ourselves for answers that are ours to decide. We ask, "how is my relationship doing?" and then wait, looking for clues to tell us. But if a relationship is, at its essence, just the thoughts you have about a person and your connection... Then you're the one who gets to pick how it's doing. What do you want to choose to think on purpose about your marriage? This week I'll walk you through this exercise.

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Ep. 91 - Your Relationship With Others

Sep 23, 2020

20:14

This week we're diving into the idea of your relationship with Others--this can be the closer relationships like parents, siblings, and in-laws, or more distant relationships like coworkers or neighbors. We usually run a paradox in our minds: "I wish you were less like you" and "I want us to have an authentic relationship." But an authentic relationship means we accept the other person AS THEY ARE. Your brain wants to believe that if they changed you'd feel better. But the reality is, if you stopped resisting them as they are, you would IMMEDIATELY feel better. Crazy, no? So join us this week as we talk about dropping the resistance, allowing ourselves to stop trying to please everyone else and show up in an authentic way,

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Ep. 92 - My Goals for the New Year

Sep 29, 2020

23:29

In this episode I'm sharing my somewhat unusual take on new year's resolutions. Whether you celebrate now or in January (or heck whenever you feel like it), this episode will help you think about your goals in a way that will be more compelling and more sustainable than the goals you've tried before. Join the mailing list at www.firstyearmarried.com Or you can apply here for 1:1 coaching

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Ep. 93 - Choosing Up! with FYM Book Club Author Ilana Kendal

Oct 6, 2020

37:23

Hi friends! I wasn't planning to post my Zoom conversation with Ilana last week onto the podcast, but it was just so darn good that I had to! Enjoy the inspiration from Ilana Kendal who will teach you on this episode about how to use storytelling to channel personal growth, plus you'll get a peek into our very first FYM book club book. It's fun, we had fun, and I'm excited to share it with you. We'll be having Ilana back on in early December to answer your questions about the book, and I'll be sharing my thoughts as I work my way through her book. You can buy Choosing Up! from www.mosaicapress.com with the code FYM10 for 10% off Or find the book on Amazon

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Ep. 94 - Newlywed Lessons (for Every Stage) with Alison Armstrong - Part 1

Oct 14, 2020

31:45

WHOOPEE! One of my absolute favorite humans, teachers, thought leaders, the marvelous Alison Armstrong, is back on the podcast this week!! We talked about what newlyweds come up against--the frustrations and struggles--and how they reappear at each stage along the line. Mainly, you'll learn about expectations: how they change when we get married (for ourselves and for our partners) and how we often realize they're there a little too late. I know you'll enjoy this episode so much! LEARN MORE: Alison Armstrong's programs can be found at her website UnderstandMen.com I strongly recommend her two books, Keys to the Kingdom and The Queen's Code Learn more about Kayla's upcoming Mastermind Group Program and 1:1 Coaching at FirstYearMarried.com (not just for newlyweds!) To hear my previous interview with Alison, listen to Episodes 50 and Episode 51

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Ep. 95 - What Motivates Your Husband with Alison Armstrong - Part 2

Oct 26, 2020

33:10

Don't miss Part 2 of my interview with Alison Armstrong! Here are a few gems she shares: Your husband ACCEPTS YOU FULLY (and what that actually mean) Your husband manages his energy and motivation differently than you do. How men change throughout their development, and how we change, too (but differently) How to communicate with your husband so that he'll WANT to help LEARN MORE: Alison Armstrong's programs can be found at her website UnderstandMen.com I strongly recommend her two books, Keys to the Kingdom and The Queen's Code Alison refers to our natural time schedules and the website thepowerofwhenquiz.com Learn more about coaching with Kayla at FirstYearMarried.com (not just for newlyweds!) To hear my previous interview with Alison, listen to Episodes 50 and Episode 51

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Ep. 96 - Grief & When It Won't Be Getting Better

Nov 8, 2020

20:57

On the two year anniversary of my "diaversary" - the date of my type 1 diabetes diagnosis - I wanted to talk about how we use thought work when we can't improve a situation. We focus a lot on what we can change--SO MUCH more is in our power than we realize. But sometimes it's not in our control. What do we do with that? www.firstyearmarried.com

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Ep. 97 - When Your Husband Skips Minyan

Nov 19, 2020

28:39

(Heads up: I'm calling this one a #Jewsode because it is PARTICULARLY specific to the religious Jewish world. All are welcome to listen and apply as you like, of course, but since the content is inherently about Jewish life, this episode may be less generally applicable than usual.) I've had several requests, especially during COVID, to talk about husbands who are skipping minyan (prayers), not going to shul or praying at all, or otherwise not doing what you expected in the spiritual realm. In this episode, I'm taking you through a simple exercise to help you identify why you're feeling triggered by his behavior and get some space so you aren't so reactive. So grab some paper :) At the end of the episode, I also discuss the concept of a woman's olam haba being tied up in her husband's learning and how to not let that idea make you go totally bonkers when he slacks off, and also how to pursue your values in a way that's truly effective and doesn't generate all this stress and anxiety. ** My husband pointed out that I didn't translate all the words! So here's your glossary (and some helpful articles) if you need it. minyan - prayer quorum daven - pray olam haba - the world to come Shacharis (or Shacharit) - morning prayer

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Ep. 98 - Exercise Guru Beatie Deutsch, Olympic Candidate

Nov 26, 2020

34:35

Wife, mom of five, and... Olympic marathon candidate?! Beatie is going to blow your mind with her story about how she took up running to get herself back to being active and ended up as a professional runner for Israel and a candidate for the Tokyo Olympics. Not only is her journey incredible, but she speaks from such a real place about the struggle of taking care of yourself, especially while growing a family, and the value of exercise for each person--marathon runner or not! She is such an amazing example of tuning into what feeds her deeply and making space for it in her life. And look where that took her! So whether you're looking for general inspiration for self care or to rethink your approach to exercise, make sure you check out this episode. You can find Beatie on Instagram @marathonmother and Facebook And don't forget to subscribe to this podcast so you can catch each new episode! Enjoy!

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Ep. 99 - How to Do a Marriage Check-In

Dec 3, 2020

18:14

As we wrap up 2020 I wanted to share a simple tool that can have a profound impact on how you experience your marriage: the Marriage Check-In. Now, there are ways in which just generally thinking about our marriages can actually lead us unintentionally into negativity and worry. A structured process allows us to guide our brains to help us to think creatively and proactively so we find answers that will give us the biggest real-life benefit. To get the PDF, go to www.FirstYearMarried.com and join the email list. You'll get it in your inbox! Enjoy! Kayla

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Ep. 100 - That Time I Let My Husband Interview Me (part 1)

Dec 14, 2020

40:53

In honor of our 100th episode (WHAATTTTT!!!), The Husband (AKA Noah) is interviewing me this week. 99 episodes of editing this podcast has given him a lot of ideas of what he'd LIKE to hear me talk about! In the first half of this interview, we discuss newlywed cooking meltdowns, a devastating loss during shana rishona, the challenge of aliya, and how our marriage has transformed over the years. Happy Chanukah everyone! Rabbi Tatz Marriage shiur on SimpletoRemember.com (part 1) Rabbi Tatz Marriage shiur on SimpletoRemember.com (part 2) Rabbi Orlofsky: Eretz Yisrael and the Geulah

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Ep. 101 - The Husband Interviews Kayla (part 2)

Dec 27, 2020

23:50

Your feedback on part 1 was awesome and here's the second installment. This week you'll hear all about how we've used self-coaching tools to improve our marriage and deal with challenges that have come our way. More from Kayla at www.firstyearmarried.com (make sure you're subscribed to the email list!) Learn more about the self-coaching model by Brooke Castillo that we reference in the episode at thelifecoachschool.com

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Ep. 102 - Inlaws, COVID, and Playground Fights

Dec 31, 2020

17:47

This week I'm addressing a really common situation I've heard from a surprising number of you! Dealing with EXTRA in-law time when your family is far away and you can't see them due to COVID. BUT even if that's not your highly-specific scenario, I want you to know that I'm also teaching a new tool that you will DEFINITELY want to use in your self-coaching! So don't miss this one. By the way, make sure you're on the email list. Really good stuff coming your way soon. You don't want to miss it. You can sign up at firstyearmarried.com

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Ep. 103 - Your Superhero Mission - Invisible Cape Part 2

Jan 10, 2021

18:18

What struggles are you dealing with that could actually be a non-issue? How do we find the mental obstacles we've created? When you set a compelling goal, your brain has a heyday. Lucky us, right? But what's awesome about that is it gives you a chance to see WHAT your brain has been offering you all the time. (It just gets louder.) So this week I'm taking you on a mini coaching session (workbook included at www.firstyearmarried.com on the podcast episode page) to find your obstacles, clarify your goal, and live the dream. Also... make sure you're on the wait list to find out when new coaching spots become available and new workshops are offered!

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Ep. 104 - Living the Dream

Feb 4, 2021

26:01

This week we're talking about what the "dream" is in your marriage -- and why you might already be living it without even realizing it. Also, I ramble a lot. ...and use the phrase "pea in a cup" EXTENSIVELY -- but it's not like the kind at the doctor. Ennnnjoy! More stuff: www.firstyearmarried.com Mastermind (because obvs): www.firstyearmarried.com/coaching

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Ep. 105 - What You Want

Feb 11, 2021

23:06

Hey friends! This one was a re-record thanks to technical difficulties but I think take two turned out even better for you! This week I'm talking about what you want. No, not the simple fluffy "I feel like a VANILLA latte" type of wanting, but what you REALLY want, what lights you up--and what to do if you don't even remember. But we're also going to take it another level deeper and learn a skill about using the language of "want" when you are working towards your goals--whether that's a career, family, educational, or spiritual goal. This one's gonna be a game changer for you. Want to take this work deeper? Make sure you're registered for the next Mastermind. Spots are limited. www.firstyearmarried.com/coaching

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Ep. 106 - Do It For You

Feb 24, 2021

16:57

[The Newlywed Mastermind is open for registration for the March cohort! What in the WORLD are you waiting for?! www.firstyearmarried.com/coaching] Who says coaching has to be complicated? In this week's episode, I'm sharing a quick tip for building more positivity, commitment, and love in your relationship... and you can do the entire thing yourself. Working on your marriage isn't always about the heavy lifting--sometimes, it's a small shift in mindset and a tiny detail. Also, coffee. (Photo by Takahiro Sakamoto on Unsplash)

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Ep. 107 - The Pesach Episode (Part 1)

Mar 11, 2021

31:04

This week Noach and I are answering your questions about getting ready for Pesach (aka Passover)--as it applies to your marriage, extended relationships, and general sanity. Enjoy! If you're looking for more support, registration is open for a few more days for the Newlywed Mastermind. Get details and register here: firstyearmarried.com/coaching

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Ep. 108 - The Pesach Episode (Part 2)

Mar 14, 2021

30:30

Welcome back! For Part 2, Noach and I continue to share communication ideas and tools to help you have a happier Pesach. Make sure to join the mailing list to get updates and coaching tools at www.firstyearmarried.com Enjoy!

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Ep. 109 - Input, Output, and Silence

Apr 7, 2021

26:07

This could be the most important episode you listen to. I’m sharing this week my journey, and that of my client, as we create more space for integration in a world that is so full of content. It wasn’t easy or comfortable. It was more profound and rewarding than either of us could have imagined. --- Book recommendation: Digital Minimalism by Cal Newport Homework: Create space for integration by choosing one task (ie laundry, dishes, driving to work) that you will do with no audio input. Allow your brain to come up with what you’ll be thinking about. Once you’ve listened, I’d love you to join the conversation. You can do that by emailing me at kayla @ firstyearmarried.com or going to https://anchor.fm/firstyearmarried to leave an audio note (click on where it says “message”--please keep audio notes under 1 minute so we can include them in a future episode!) I look forward to hearing from you! To make sure you are on the wait list for my next Mastermind group, go to firstyearmarried.com/coaching

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Ep. 110 - Confidence Isn't About You

Apr 18, 2021

16:16

For a lot of my clients, preparing for Pesach meant getting ready to spend time in situations or with people where they just didn’t feel they could be themselves. They felt judged, self conscious, or just otherwise stifled. So I want to share with you a simple paradigm that will take you from insecure to confident. We’ll do this by examining what is really happening for us when we feel insecure, what artificial confidence is and why we do it, and how to create genuine, authentic confidence in any moment. (You’ll see you already do it a lot.) Make sure you’re on my wait list to take this work deeper with my next Mastermind group at www.firstyearmarried.com/coaching

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Ep. 111 - Watching Thoughts

Apr 25, 2021

20:10

This week I'm sharing with you my thoughts about our thoughts--and how busy and attached we can get with them. (This is an advanced episode, so if you're new here I invite you to go back to some of the earlier episodes and revisit this one later.) To get on the interest list for my next round of group coaching, go to firstyearmarried.com/coaching

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Ep. 112 - Hair Covering & Sheitals with Elisheva Storch - Part 1

May 2, 2021

26:36

Welcome to our #Jewsode - Elisheva Storch is our hair covering guru, discussing all about how Jewish women who have chosen to cover their hair can make the process more enjoyable, plus how to manage the world of sheitals (AKA wig) purchasing. Are you destined to hate your first wig? Is wig covering hard for everyone? How can we bring this mitzvah into our awareness and connection to Hashem? Elisheva has so much to share--enjoy! And make sure you are subscribed for part 2! Find Elisheva on Instagram at @elisheva wigs atlanta

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Ep. 113 - Hair Covering & Sheitals with Elisheva Storch - Part 2

May 9, 2021

18:41

I have Elisheva Storch back again this week for part 2 about our conversation about hair covering and sheitals. This time we're talking about maintaining the wig, working with a stylist, and some common mistakes that many wig owners make. Elisheva's passion for this mitzvah really shines through and I love that she shares so generously with our audience! Here's the story of Charlene Aminoff, as referenced in the podcast You can find Elisheva on Instagram at @elisheva wigs atlanta Get on the mailing list for all the FYM fun: www.firstyearmarried.com

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Ep. 114 - What We Can Learn From Search Engines

May 15, 2021

12:04

Our brain is kind of like Google. We can ask it a question like, ‘does my boss like me?’ and it’ll spit back results - right? Wrong. No sirree. Big fat no. Our brain is NOT like Google. It gives us results to questions we didn’t even ask it. And those results can be terrifying sometimes (read: often). But once you understand how your brain’s search engine works, you can actually take control of it.

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Ep. 115 - Dating Mindset vs Marriage Mindset

Jun 3, 2021

14:27

Dating. It’s all about “do we have the same values?” “Do we want the same things?” And some version of, “can I be happy with him?” Marriage. It’s a journey of learning, knowing, and seeing the other person fully, accepting them unconditionally. Could they be any more different? To go from one to another is a process. In this week’s episode, I’m going to show you how you can help your brain if it’s stuck in Dating Mindset (even once you’re married!), evaluating and wishing your husband would be different than he is. In this episode you will learn: What is a Dating Mindset and a Marriage Mindset? How we use exploration and curiosity in both phases How to transition from a Dating to a Marriage Mindset Why it’s not a problem for it to take some time and what to do if it does Get on the wait list for the next Marriage Mastermind at www.firstyearmarried.com/coaching

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Ep. 116 - Sticky Thoughts

Jun 13, 2021

21:26

Sometimes even when we know a thought is not serving us, we still can't let it go. I call these "sticky thoughts." This week I'm walking you through how you can work with even the stickiest thoughts and improve your happiness and love your life more. Interested in working with me? I have opened my schedule for private meetings for women considering joining the next group coaching program. Go to firstyearmarried.com/coaching to book your appointment.

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Ep. 117 - Elul Your Marriage

Aug 8, 2021

3:42

Chodesh tov! Listen this week to hear why Elul is the PERFECT time to introspect on your marriage. Join me for my month-long email program where I'll be helping you take stock, set goals, and get more perspective on your marriage: www.firstyearmarried.com and join the email list!

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Ep. 118 - EYM Part 1: Taking an Accounting

Aug 12, 2021

10:50

We're going to be using everything we know about the month of Elul and introspecting and reflecting and GROWING to benefit our marriages. Join us by signing up for the email list at firstyearmarried.com -- I LOVE the workbooks I'm preparing for you all and can't wait to share them with you! If you haven't done my Marriage Check-In mini-workbook yet, that's the best place to start (totally FREE when you join the email list) and more marriage-enhancing goodies coming your way all month! Final thought: as you sign up, consider what helps you stay engaged and accountable. Whether that means you grab a buddy to do this together, get an accountability partner, repost to social as you go, or anything else you dream up. Download the workbook here.

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Ep. 119 - EYM Part 2: Dreams and Connection

Aug 20, 2021

21:28

This week we go from our introspection and accounting energy (last week’s podcast) into the “fresh notebook” energy of Elul. It’s time to set our goals, and I challenge you to do this from “big-dream” energy, not “what I think I can get” energy. Download your episode workbook here: firstyearmarried.com/ep-119-elul-your-marriage-part-2-dreams-and-connection/ In this week’s podcast you’ll learn How to set goals for what you REALLY want in your marriage How to get out of victim or blame mode and make effective changes in your marriage How to dream bigger without fear that you can’t have what you really want Also, a reminder! The Newlywed mastermind is opening for registration SOON! Make sure you're on the wait list! firstyearmarried.com/coaching/

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Ep. 120 - EYM Part 3: Bringing It All Together

Aug 26, 2021

17:21

Heads up! The Fall Newlywed Mastermind opens for registration on Sunday JUST for the people on the waitlist so make sure you’re signed up. We are now up to part THREE where we are bringing together our introspection work with our big dreams. Here are two concepts before we go into application mode. It’s important not to judge our result of how we’re showing up as a wife based on how our husband feels. That doesn’t mean we don’t get to be empathetic, intuitive, or compassionate. But when my goal is to make him happy, I’m trying to take control of something that is not mine to own. His feelings are his. It’s also helpful to remember that any work you’re doing, whether that’s these workbooks or reading marriage books or joining the Mastermind, is not for him. So it isn’t “unfair” that you’re working on your marriage and he’s not. You’re doing it for you. The best way to make change is to take one of your goals, find something specific you can do, and then cut it down to the smallest possible version. Want to be warmer to your husband? Look him in the eye and smile at him for two seconds when he arrives home from work. Choosing a habit that is easy to do means it will snowball. And then give yourself credit when you’ve completed it! What you’ll learn in this episode What it means to take too much responsibility Why making our husband happy can’t ultimately be our goal How to be ok with a husband who you think should feel “better” or act differently How to create habits Sources The Fall Mastermind Wait List Tiny Habits by BJ Fogg The Final Elul Your Marriage Workbook

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Ep. 121 - The Most Important Thing

Sep 14, 2021

31:12

Registration is open now for my Fall Mastermind. Register here to grab your spot! If you have any questions you can book a consult here. Today I'm sharing my vision of what is possible for us when we are dedicated to our marriages. Come along with me to hear and get inspired by the ripple effects of this one relationship being on solid, loving ground. Even beyond the value of being happy and confident in your marriage, I'll show you how your marriage effects your personal growth your parenting (even if you don't have kids yet) your emotional well-being the technical running of your life Sometimes the most valuable thing we can do is step back and take the long view, regain clarity, and then step back in.

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Ep. 122 - How to Get More Done (with Less Overwhelm)

Oct 5, 2021

24:56

Updates: First 5 Mastermind registration closes soon! Book a consult call here to learn more. Wednesdays at 2 PM Eastern. Another group for women married longer is forming as well. Email me at [email protected] to join the wait list. Coming off the whirlwind of Jewish holidays, I feel like everyone is talking about taking things off your to-do list. I won't be doing that. I'd like to talk about making your to-do list easier. The mistake we make (and I have a long Shabbos prep saga to share the idea) is that we are constantly shifting between decision making and execution. Instead of giving ourselves the chance to move into flow and get to work on a task, we question the task, reevaluate it, and often change tracks midway. This week I'll be teaching you a simple tool to get more done with less time, simplifying your life--which I figure is one of the best ways to achieve a happy marriage. In this episode you will learn: How to have an efficient planning session even if you are super overwhelmed How to get more done with less mental energy burn How to experience flow even in less glamorous tasks How to stay in execution mode and follow the plan you set

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Ep. 123 - Love Confidence

Oct 17, 2021

13:41

Have your attempts to evaluate your marriage ever ended in a spin-out of anxiety or negativity? If so, there's a simple and straightforward solution. Generating Love Confidence before moving into any troubleshooting will allow you to troubleshoot from an empowered and clear space. Listen to this week's episode to learn: How to generate more confidence in your marriage How to evaluate your marriage without freaking out How to feel good about your marriage without putting blinders on about what could be fixed H/T to my business coach Stacey Boehman for the foundation of this concept, which I adjusted from business to marriage. Make sure you're on my email list for goodies, workbooks, and news about upcoming coaching opportunities! www.firstyearmarried.com

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Ep. 124 - The Other Half of Life with Meredith Boggs (Part 1)

Oct 24, 2021

22:16

This week I’m chatting with Meredith Boggs about social media and our homes. Meredith is a speaker, writer, podcaster and blogger who focuses on "The Other Half" -- in her words, "real life that doesn’t make the highlight reel." On today’s call, we’re discussing… Simple changes that help you to be present with your husband and family when home Can we really “win” over the media giants that are trying to capture our attention? How do we get out of compare and despair when we see our peer’s lives online How to maintain real, authentic relationships in a social media world Please let us know what YOUR systems and strategies are! If you're on Instagram, tag Meredith @meredithwboggs and me @firstyearmarried so we can continue the discussion! More from Meredith: Instagram Website Podcast

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Ep. 125 - Social Media and Marriage - Meredith Boggs Interview Part 2

Oct 31, 2021

19:47

Meredith Boggs is back this week and we are continuing our discussion about social media and its impact on our marriages. Listen to hear: The value of giving ourselves some time in the morning before getting on our smartphones. Us busting the myth that anyone can “do it all” Why there is no shame in admitting you get help! How to stop the scroll once and for all Get Meredith’s Stop the Scroll download at her website.

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Ep. 126 - Managing Your Emotions

Nov 7, 2021

17:09

Lots of announcements this week but I'm also really excited to share this skill with you. BIG NEWS! #1: The podcast name is changing -- so keep your eyes out next week for How to Glow! This new name reflects a change in my focus--to serve Jewish married women of all ages and stages. #2: The How to Glow Membership coaching program is launching this Chanukah! Coaching is going to become available to more Jewish women--women with busy lives, busy budgets, and who deserve coaching support more than anyone! Make sure to get on the waitlist to hear when doors open for registration at firstyearmarried.com/coaching Managing your emotions is way bigger than you might realize. When you can manage your emotions you can get yourself to do whatever you need to. It's the first of the four fundamental self-mastery skills that really allow you to live the life you want. (Stay tuned for the next three episodes to hear the remaining skills!) The only reason we don't accomplish our goals is that we aren't willing to feel a feeling. Here's a simple process to work on managing your emotions: 1. Pick ONE specific goal you have 2. Think about where you aren't following through right now 3. Identify what emotion you'd have to feel if you were to follow through anyway (it will be a negative emotion) 4. Commit to feeling that feeling for three seconds at a time Give it a try and let me know how it goes! Want some coaching to help you with this tool? Make sure you're on the waitlist for the How to Glow membership so you can join us this Chanukah!

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Ep. 127 - Staying in Your Own Lane

Nov 14, 2021

21:08

This week we are in our second of the four self-mastery skills that will move us into Glow energy! A few updates before we get started The Modern Jewish Girl podcast is awesome! If you know anyone exploring Judaism, send them her way! Lots of questions coming in about How to Glow! I'm sharing some details with you about what it will look like inside: We will have a monthly Topic Call and two Q&A calls where you can get coached live or submit questions in advance. I'm also offering my three signature courses inside: Time Management, Foundations, and the First Year Married Online Course. How to Glow is open for membership from November 28-30. Today's skill is Being in Your Lane. It's simple and you can use it all the time. First I want you to notice what happens when you get busy with "his lane"--what he's doing, what you think he SHOULD be doing, and all those things. Where does it take you? How do you show up? How do you feel? Are you effective now? Does it work? No! Resisting and judging doesn't really change what's happening. It's not effective. What do you get to experience when you're in your lane? Focused on your goals, your power, your possibilities... This is so much more fun! And more effective--we are engaged in an area where we can make changes Choose what you want to create with the reality or situation you are in Want more support? Join us inside How to Glow to get all your coaching questions answered.

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Ep. 128 - Real Goals

Nov 24, 2021

24:40

In today's episode I'm sharing with you a more nuanced, human way to use goals that will serve you so much better than traditional goal-setting. In this episode you will learn... How to set "Real Goals" Why your goals won't always be SMART (specific, measurable, achievable, realistic, time-bound) How goals help keep your brain proactive How goals help with your brain's natural negativity bias How to NOT use goals against yourself Episode References Circle, Arrow, Spiral by Miriam Kosman How to Glow Coaching Program

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Ep. 129 - Having Your Back

Nov 28, 2021

24:04

UPDATE: How to Glow is now open for registration--but only for THREE DAYS! Make sure you get your spot at kaylalevin.com/coaching Can't wait to see you inside!! --- This is a perfect continuation of the Real Goals podcast. Last week I discussed how we can use goals as a way of beating ourselves up or invalidating everything between here and there… Having your back means that no matter what, you don’t use your failures to condemn or hate yourself. In this episode you will learn: Why we SHOULD call them failures Why you want to embrace your failures How to love yourself and be proud of yourself when you fail big How to dream big without burnout How to create a goal that gets you really excited How to break the habit of beating yourself up in an attempt to be better Have an audacious goal you want to commit to loving yourself through? I'd love to help you do this work--join us inside How to Glow and let's get to it!

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Ep 130 - The 5 Love Languages Trap (Replay)

Dec 5, 2021

19:11

Happy Chanukah! This week I'm on vacation but I wanted to send you a blast-from-the-past--this episode was originally aired all the way back in August of 2019! Hard to believe. It's a great reminder of how we can use the idea of the Five Love Languages to help ourselves--not to make us feel like we are missing out in what we need from our husbands. Want more? Go to kaylalevin.com/coaching and join the wait list for access to my Marriage Check-In workbook and to find out when doors open next for How to Glow!

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Ep. 131 - Physical Discomfort

Dec 12, 2021

26:15

This week I'm teaching you how to manage when you are TIRED. When you're up a lot at night, or have a very schleppy life-situation, or an extremely physically demanding job. Often we make the mistake of thinking that thought work doesn't apply to our physical experience. I've seen time and time again that this is not true. Our thoughts about our discomfort create the true bulk of our experience. Whatever your situation, I invite you to listen this week to hear... - How to stop resisting and adding drama to physically demanding parts of your life - The real benefits you can gain when you embrace physical discomfort - How to get out of "energy scarcity" -- when you're worried about spending energy now because you might not have it later - How to trust yourself to make decisions about how to take care of your body Join us next month in my membership program, How to Glow, and bring any of your questions about this topic or others to our live coaching calls! kaylalevin.com/coaching Mentioned in this episode: Ellen Langer Study Ellen Langer books

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Ep. 132 - Marriage Is Not Hard

Dec 19, 2021

10:03

When we say "marriage is hard" we mean to encourage. We mean to empathize, to validate, to normalize the struggles that can so often happen in marriage. But I want you to know that there's a major negative impact of saying this so unquestioningly. Make sure you listen this week as I pull in thought work to understand why the phrase "marriage is hard" can be one of the biggest disservices we do for one another and for ourselves, and why I think we should all chuck this well-intentioned phrase right out of our collective vocabulary.

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Ep 133 - Two Ways to Get More of What You Want

Dec 26, 2021

20:10

We talk a lot on here about getting our needs met, because that's one of the main questions I get as a marriage coach. Today I want to share two tools that will help you get more of what you want--whether specifically in your marriage or in your life as a whole. Listen this week to learn: The main reason you aren't pursuing what you want Clear, doable strategies to help you clarify what you really want in your life How taking pleasure in your life now creates more momentum for pursuing your goals Where easy dopamine sources might be blocking you from pursuing your goals and loving your life Registration opens soon for How to Glow. Make sure you're on the wait list at www.kaylalevin.com/coaching!

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Ep 134 - Why You Might Need to Go on a Goals Detox

Jan 2, 2022

21:08

Not to be contrary, but this week we'll be talking about why you might need to take a BREAK from setting goals. This episode is for you if you have a goal that's been lingering for a while that you just can't seem to work up the motivation to achieve. Listen to hear... Some "symptoms" that you are in need of a goals detox How tying your self worth to your accomplishments is actually making it harder for you to achieve your goals Why taking a break from having any goals will allow you to reset your entire approach How accepting where you are now and loving yourself as you are is your fastest track to growth I'd love to hear your thoughts and what goals you're ready to let go of! Be in touch at kaylalevin.com

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Ep 135 - Listener Question: What Do I Do About My Stressed-Out Husband?

Jan 16, 2022

16:42

"I had an idea for a podcast topic that I don't think you covered. It is actually relevant to current (Jewish) events lately. I want to know what to do when you or your spouse is having a crisis and is not dealing with it properly. Or if there is a crisis in the world that you or your spouse is taking very hard and not functioning as they normally do. If it is you, that is one thing but what do you do when it is your spouse? Especially when it comes at a busy/high stress/just wrong time?" This is such a relevant question right now. Listen to this week's episode to hear the following tools to help when your husband is struggling to navigate a stressful time... How to use self-awareness to reduce resistance "Zooming out" to create patience and long-term vision for your marriage Asking powerful questions to create meaningful solutions Shifting from "needs" to get yourself out of victim mode Get more support inside my private membership coaching program, How to Glow.

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Ep 136 - When it Gets Really Hard

Jan 23, 2022

17:50

This week I want to offer some really practical solutions for when life--or your marriage--is getting really hard. When you should NOT be trying to do thought work How to get past "cliche" forms of self care to something that would really be helpful for you The role our lower brain plays in our well-being and how to deal with your nervous system Clarify what your signs are that you're spiraling How to use your brain to help you find solutions when you're feeling stuck Registration opens at the end of the month for How to Glow. Join us here: kaylalevin.com/coaching

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Ep 137 - When Your Husband is Critical of Your Looks or Weight (Listener Question)

Jan 30, 2022

23:48

HOT TOPIC today, ladies. Whether this is relevant to you personally or not, I encourage you to listen for the tools I share in the context of this question. UPDATE: As of the posting of this episode, doors are open for How to Glow! GET IN TODAY for my best tools, live and written coaching, and the chance to hear other people get coached and grow from that! https://kaylalevin.com/coaching This week I'll be discussing... How to know when you need acceptance/thought work vs. a boundary How to deal with internal triggers The effect that western society has had on both women AND men -- and how understanding it will help you navigate this How to have a productive conversation when you've been hurt

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Ep. 138 - When Your Husband is Sick

Feb 8, 2022

22:24

This episode is a long time coming! Many women struggle with feeling a REALLY strong negative reaction when their husband is sick--whether annoyance, judgement, resentment, frustration, even fear. This. Is. Normal. Even very lovely, wonderful, nurturing women struggle with this. Today I'm going to help you with what to do about it.

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Ep. 139 - Real Requests Are Like Offers

Feb 13, 2022

12:40

This week I'm offering you a tool to help you get more clear on what you want from your marriage. So much of the time, we "hint" at what we want and really believe we've been clear. There are a few tools I teach to help you do a self-check of whether your communication was clear enough and what to do about the vulnerability we feel when we make a real, authentic request from our husband. Ready to take this work further? kaylalevin.com/coaching

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Ep. 140 - We Don't Do Damsel In Distress

Feb 20, 2022

20:32

This week we are revisiting and going deeper on the whole idea of mashpia/mekabel AKA provider/receiver. What does this concept mean in the context of a Jewish marriage? What is the Jewish ideal for how a woman "receives"? What have we picked up from other cultures about what it means to be provided for, and what downsides does that bring? How can we strengthen ourselves without burning ourselves out or neglecting our own needs? Excited to share this episode with you. If you want to take this work deeper, make sure to join us in How to Glow next month at kaylalevin.com/coaching

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Ep. 141 - How to Stop Wasting Your Time

Feb 28, 2022

19:17

It's about to be one of the busiest seasons of the year and I want to give you a skill to get back a lot of your time. One of the main reasons we waste time is called buffering. Buffering is any time we engage in an activity and we lose out in the end--usually to avoid some negative emotion, whether that's loneliness, disconnection, boredom, anxiety... pick your poison :) Today I'll go over how to identify your buffers, why it's so crucial that you learn the skill of NOT buffering, and how you can go about it.

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Ep. 142 - Rest vs Self Care

Mar 7, 2022

29:13

Pursuing happiness tends to make it even more elusive. Most of the women I know and work with know that sitting on the couch with bonbons when life is feeling a little unsatisfying is not going to do the trick. So in this ongoing conversation about self-care, I’m going to make another distinction that I think can help us. There are activities that make your life better.. and there’s rest. And both are critical. When we use “self-care-type activities” to FEEL BETTER (to feel happy, fulfilled, enjoying our life), I’m not sure it’s so effective. When we rest because we are so drained or depleted that there are no happy thoughts to think, (or–please–catch yourself before you get to this point when you can) we set ourselves up to rejoin a life that has meaning and purpose which then leads to real fulfillment and happiness. You can rest on your couch or at a 5-star-spa for all I care, but know that your rest isn’t going to give you what you really need. It’s crucial, but it’s function is just to get you back in the game.

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Ep. 143 - Purim Thoughts

Mar 13, 2022

10:00

I love Purim + Thought Work! So many women struggle on Purim. It's normal-- but it's not necessary. Tune in to hear how you can make a thought-plan for Purim to make it a day more meaningful and enjoyable (yes even with the wildness, the mess, the over-sugared kids, and the vomiting husband)! Want to join us next month? We'd love to have you in our community! kaylalevin.com/coaching to get on the wait list!

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Ep. 144 - Just One of Those Days

Mar 22, 2022

8:15

Sometimes it's not about coaching yourself, it's about acceptance. It's so easy to fall for the myth that we're supposed to always feel good. Ironically, thinking we're always supposed to feel good... feels terrible. It creates so much resistance. Today I'm sharing one of my "one of those days" days. And I know you have them, too. Here's how we can allow them, which actually allows us to tap into a deeper level of our own truth and helps us move past and through so much more easily.

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Ep. 145 - How to Be a Smarter Couple - Interview with Rabbi Ben Tzion Shafier

Mar 27, 2022

40:38

I am so excited to bring you this interview with Rabbi Ben Tzion Shafier, founder of TheShmuz.com and author of the new book, 10 Really Dumb Mistakes that Very Smart Couples Make. We dove into a really interesting discussion about how men and women communicate differently, how we perceive and give criticism differently, and how changing our approach can have a powerful impact on our marriages. Referenced in this episode: Check out Rabbi Shafier's book here To learn more about TheShmuz.com

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Ep. 146 - The Terrain of Your Brain

Apr 3, 2022

19:19

Has your brain felt noisy lately? I noticed a tendency to reach for a podcast or shiur when I had a lot on my mind and some housework that needed to get done. And when I paid attention, I found (probably not surprisingly) that once the podcast was over, my brain felt just as noisy as before. Sometimes more so. So I've adopted a check-in with myself: If my brain is noisy, what I need is silence. If my brain feels calm, I might want to listen to something. (Or I might just want to enjoy the quiet!) It's so simple, but it's been a game changer. We don't need to listen to anything to get ourselves up and going. When you give your brain some space to do it's thing, you'll be amazed what it can work out on its own. And if you are feeling spacious (or aren't there yet but want to understand this better)--make sure to check out this week's episode where I go into this whole concept much more deeply.

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Ep. 147 - A Better Relationship with Your Mother-in-Law with Rachel Glasser

Apr 10, 2022

45:37

Rachel Glasser kept seeing comments on the Frum Girl Problems Facebook group about mother-in-law dynamics that were directly addressed in the research she had done about this relationship, so she decided to share her findings. I saw her post and immediately invited her onto the podcast. I loved our conversation. Having gone through all the major studies about in-law relationships in the last sixty years, Rachel has so much to share about the most common pitfalls in these relationships, the advantages or working on the relationship, and specific ways we can go about this. What was surprising to you about what Rachel had to share?

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Ep. 148 - Are We Responsible for Each Other's Feelings?

Apr 26, 2022

23:30

Today I want to talk to you about the idea of how we relate to one another's feelings and how that relates to the idea that our own thoughts create our feelings. Specifically, we're going to take this into our marriages: "I want to be happy" turns into "I need my husband to do xyz so I will be happy" "I want my husband to be happy" becomes "I'm responsible to do everything he says will make him happy" On the other end of the spectrum, we could go too far-- taking NO responsibility for our behavior, having no sensitivity to what the other person wants or cares about, and washing our hands of it by saying, "well, it's HIS thoughts that made him upset, not me." Want to dive deeper into this work? Doors open soon for How to Glow and I'd love to have you join us! Just head over to kaylalevin.com/coaching to find out more.

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Ep. 149 - Giving Feels Amazing

May 1, 2022

13:07

If you've found yourself saying "yes" to too many things simply because it's so hard to say "no"... whether because you hate to disappoint others or you want to be nice or you just can't stand the awkward moment.. this week's podcast is for you. I want to show you what's on the other side of learning how to say no. What's on the other side is true giving. When you are willing and able to say "no" when someone asks you to do something you really don't want to or is outside your comfort zone, then when you say "yes" it's a true yes. This week I'll help you check in on your people-pleasing tendencies and get you excited for the huge benefits of real giving. Oh, and here are some links that came up this week: Get the Marriage Check-In Workbook, FREE on my website Say hello over on Instagram and celebrate 200k with me! Learn how to get coached and take this all to the next level.

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Ep. 150 - A Positive Money Mindset with Yael Trusch

May 15, 2022

33:44

I'm so excited to have Yael Trusch, financial expert and Torah teacher, on this week to discuss our thoughts about money. How do we not get too wrapped up in money? What if our financial situation is keeping us from being happy? Can you be wealthy AND holy? What does that look like? I know you'll love this conversation--can't wait to hear your thoughts. AND Yael will be our guest coach inside of How to Glow in June so you can learn more from her by signing up for How to Glow at kaylalevin.com/coaching! Want to learn more about Yael? Check out her website here.

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Ep 151 - Goals vs. Decisions

May 29, 2022

15:16

If you've been struggling to stay on track with a decision you made, this episode is for you. So often, we make decisions when what we should be making are goals. What's the difference? A decision is one-and-done. A goal is a process. If you think you're making a decision but you really need a goal, you'll end up weakening your faith in yourself and creating a lot of extra frustration. If you set a goal that could easily just be a decision, you're spinning your wheels on work you don't need to do. Listen this week to learn how to distinguish between a goal and a decision, how to make each, and how to stick to it.

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Ep. 152 - Update & Replay of Ilana Kendal - Choosing Up!

Jun 26, 2022

36:45

This week we kick off our July How to Glow Take-over with Ilana Kendal, author of Choosing Up. Enjoy this episode replay and don't miss registration in the coming days to get into the community for July. Register Here Enjoy

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Ep. 153 - The Dreaded Housework - Summer Series Replay

Jul 10, 2022

53:40

This week I'm sharing our family's news which is why I've been MIA so far this summer. I'm also beginning our summer series where we'll be bringing back some of our listeners' most favorite episodes. This week is The Dreaded Housework--how can we use coaching concepts to improve our relationship with our more mundane parts of life? This was originally a two-part episode--we are including both in this week's replay. Sources from this episode: Keys to the Kingdom - How men change over time and why it's so confusing. The Queen's Code - How we can bring out the best in men (and often bring out the worst) Episode 12 - Mind Management - For an introduction to thought work

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Ep. 154 - Your Invisible Cape - Summer Series Replay

Jul 17, 2022

21:49

Ready for a tool that will make you feel like an undercover superhero? The Invisible Cape is THE magic trick to pull you out of the keeping-up-with-the-Cohens mentality. Because we ALL have our areas where we feel compelled to compete. This tool is one of my longtime listeners' and current clients' favorites--so I know you'll love it. And if you've heard it before, we can all use a refresh. Ready to take this work deeper? Doors open at the end of the month for my monthly membership coaching program, How to Glow. You can get on the waitlist now at kaylalevin.com/coaching See you inside! Resources from this Episode: The Happy Birthway Podcast - Apple Podcasts and Spotify

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Ep. 155 - Living The Dream - Summer Series Replay

Jul 24, 2022

29:58

Ever notice that the things that cause you the most stress are sometimes the exact thing you most wanted? Once upon a time we only dreamed of getting to know and understand our husbands better, have children, or land that exact job. And once we have them, it's so easy to forget and to allow those same things to overwhelm us and stress us out. It's such a simple re-frame, but it can feel life changing when you need it. Make sure to listen this week to hear how to apply this in your life. Can't wait to hear from you about what dream you are living! Resources from this week's episode: Project Honeymoon: KaylaLevin.com/newlywed (Please share!) How to Glow: KaylaLevin.com/coaching (Opens for registration the 28th) The Franciska Show: Spotify Apple Podcasts

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The How to Glow Podcast Trailer

Jul 26, 2022

2:00

Welcome to How to Glow!

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Ep. 156 - Be Birth Positive with Lauren Seidman

Jul 31, 2022

1:00:47

Today I'm excited to bring you a conversation with Lauren Seidman, a down-to-earth, relatable, and super knowledgeable childbirth educator who runs online classes and also shares her knowledge at her Instagram account @birth positive This is a long overdue topic for us here! The more knowledgeable we are, the more we can advocate for ourselves and feel confident in the process. Looking forward to hearing your feedback! Resources from this week's episode: How to Glow online community Lauren's website Lauren's Instagram account The Weekly Squeeze podcast - Apple Podcasts and Spotify

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