What does real discipline look like in a Jewish home?In this episode of Becoming Home, Rabbi Greenwald and Rabbi Yudkowsky explore a deeper framework for parenting — one that challenges the way we think about discipline, punishment, and love itself.They unpack three aspects of love – how they work together and how in their absence disciplinary measures fail and create unintended damage.They also distinguish between discipline, control, and helping a child realize their truest self. Along the way, they touch on:•⁠ ⁠When limits strengthen a child — and when they break them•⁠ ⁠Why punishment often backfires in today’s world•⁠ ⁠The difference between creating compliance and restoring free will•⁠ ⁠What it means to discipline from clarity instead of reaction•⁠ ⁠And how connection changes everythingThis episode opens up a more nuanced, and sometimes uncomfortable, look at what it really means to guide a child — without losing them in the process.Timestamps00:00 What is discipline really for?02:40 Three expressions of love (Ramchal)06:15 Create strength vs. resistance10:30 A hug of connection and boundaries25:45 Punishment as a tool 30:30 Corporal punishment: why it rarely lands as intended35:50 Discipline vs. control — restoring free will41:10 When a child feels rejected46:00 Clarity vs. reacting in the moment54:10 Rethinking consequences58:00 Influence of healthy discipline on a child

As Pesach approaches, many families feel the pressure long before they feel the joy.In this conversation, Rabbi Greenwald and Rabbi Yudkowsky explore how to prepare for the Seder in a way that is calmer, sweeter, and more connected. The atmosphere we create around Pesach shapes what our children will carry with them for years to come.They share practical preparation to the deeper meaning of the Seder itself: how parents can make Yetzias Mitzrayim feel alive, how to speak to different kinds of children, and how the four sons are not just four personalities around the table, but parts of every one of us.They also explores the tension built into the Seder night itself: pain and praise, struggle and freedom, brokenness and redemption. What does it mean to begin with degradation and end with praise? How do we help children, and ourselves, move from constriction to expansiveness?---------- Listen to the Seder Crash Course Here: https://episodes.captivate.fm/episode/9c36d857-cba7-477a-afe0-91ed790b6edf.mp3

As Pesach approaches, many families feel the pressure long before they feel the joy. In this conversation, Rabbi Greenwald and Rabbi Yudkowsky explore how to prepare for the Seder in a way that is calmer, sweeter, and more connected. The atmosphere we create around Pesach shapes what our children will carry with them for years to come. They share practical preparation to the deeper meaning of the Seder itself: how parents can make Yetzias Mitzrayim feel alive, how to speak to different kinds of children, and how the four sons are not just four personalities around the table, but parts of every one of us. They also explores the tension built into the Seder night itself: pain and praise, struggle and freedom, brokenness and redemption. What does it mean to begin with degradation and end with praise? How do we help children, and ourselves, move from constriction to expansiveness?

In this episode, Rabbi Greenwald and Rabbi Yudkowsky tackle a challenge that many parents feel deeply but struggle to explain: the difference between yelling and hitting today vs earlier generations.They explore shifts in children, parents, and society, and contemporary consequences of traditional discipline.Along the way, they touch on anger, fear, authority, self-control, and the deeper goal of parenting.This conversation does not just ask what works. It asks what a child is actually hearing beneath the reaction, and what kind of person a parent is trying to shape over time.For anyone who has ever lost their cool, questioned their instincts, or wondered how to be firm without causing harm, this episode can be a huge help.00:00 Hitting and Yelling?01:49 What changed?08:00 Lessons in a Slap13:13 Building Inner Motivation14:22 Is There Hope For Parents?16:50 Two Kinds Of Discipline18:55 Unconscious, automatic reactions23:44 Rewiring Discipline Beliefs24:40 Child runs into the street - effective intervention.28:48 When Firmness Is Necessary32:48 Cultivating Calm At Home41:31 Letting Teens Choose Well43:35 Building Real Free Will

In this episode, Rabbi Greenwald and Rabbi Yudkowsky tackle a question every parent faces: how do we raise children who know how to be good friends?They discuss how to model and empower children to share and get along with each other, and examine the role of character in interpersonal relationships and obligations.The conversation also addresses boundaries—what to do when a child feels used, overlooked, or bullied. It offers practical guidance for dealing with children's feelings, communicating with other parents or the schools, and creating a safe environment. It also discusses how to help a child deal with conflicts and stand up for himself. A thoughtful, practical discussion about raising children who can give generously—without losing themselves.-----------------------Check out Rabbi Greenwald new book:https://www.artscroll.com/Books/9781422645352.html

In this conversation, Rabbi Yudkowsky and Rabbi Greenwald delve into the subject of friendship, for ourselves and for our children.Rabbi Greenwald outlines three fundamental elements of friendship - the role they play in our lives and the core of true friendships.It also addresses the pain of rejected friendships, especially in children, and how parents can guide their children in building meaningful relationships.Next the conversation touches on the different types of friendships, their benefits, and what sets enduring friendships apart from more transient relationships.It concludes with noting how nurturing and investing in friendships enhances individual and collective well-being.-----------------------Check out Rabbi Greenwald new book:https://www.artscroll.com/Books/9781422645352.html

Building Trust in the Home: Practical Insights for ParentingWhat does it really mean to build trust with our children, and what quietly erodes it over time?In this episode, Rabbi Yudkowsky and Rabbi Greenwald explore trust not as a technique, but as a way of being in the home. They touch on the subtle messages parents send through consistency, communication, and everyday interactions, and how those messages shape a child’s inner world.The conversation raises difficult and honest questions about control, guidance, and what happens when children struggle or push back. Along the way, the rabbis challenge common assumptions about parenting and invite listeners to reconsider what truly helps children grow into confident, grounded adults.This episode offers perspective, reflection, and a deeper way of thinking about trust, without easy answers or quick fixes.Timestamps0:00 Introduction and Welcome0:05 Creating a Trustworthy Environment1:04 The Marshmallow Experiment2:12 Nature vs. Nurture in Trust Development3:31 Teaching Delayed Gratification4:34 Parental Influence on Trust5:42 The Role of Consistency and Honesty8:49 Challenges in Parenting and Trust15:43 The Importance of Struggles and Challenges21:12 Guiding Children Through Mistakes24:27 The Power of Gentle Guidance25:47 A Fathers Persistent Influence27:18 Creating a Trusting Environment28:15 The Impact of Corporal Punishment31:38 Understanding and Addressing Rebellion34:35 Building Trust with Teenagers43:45 Summary and Key Takeaways on Trust and Parenting

Rabbi Yudkowsky and Rabbi Greenwald explore one of the most complex and emotionally charged challenges of parenting: trust. This is episode two of a three-part series focused on what it truly means to trust our children.The rabbis unpack some common fears that if unacknowledged or ignored can block our ability to trust.They distinguish between external compliance vs internal motivation -- obedience driven by pressure or fear and growth that emerges from choice, ownership, and self-direction. They challenge the assumption that constant intervention leads to better outcomes, examining the subversive impact of control on a child’s confidence, agency, and long-term development.The conversation extends into the religious and spiritual realm, considering the difference between cultivating authentic connection to mitzvot and values as opposed to outward conformity.They describe how trusting our children is an outgrowth of trusting ourselves and having the courage to give our children space to struggle, learn, and grow.Ultimately, this episode reframes trust as an act of faith in the process of growth and in our children’s potential. And it explains how meaningful connection—both in parenting and in Avodas Hashem—cannot be forced, only nurtured.-----------------------Check out Rabbi Greenwald new book:https://www.artscroll.com/Books/9781422645352.html