This is a LANDMARK episode for How to Glow because today's guest has had a tremendous influence on the way that I approach coaching and personal development for you all. Rebbetzin Miriam Kosman is a lecturer, teacher, and author of the book Circle, Arrow, Spiral and she joins me today to discuss what gender is all about in Jewish thought and how that might apply to us in our lives and relationships. Want to take this work further? I would love to coach you inside my coaching program, How to Glow. It's a no-commitment monthly program where you can get coached every week and be part of an amazing community of women. Ready to give it a try? Join today at kaylalevin.com/coaching

I finally left social media, after years of thinking about it, considering it, and weighing the pros and cons. I wanted to share my thought process with you. Whether your decision is about social media or any other area of your life where you're constantly wavering back and forth, I hope this episode will help you gain some clarity on HOW we can make decisions that we love. Want to take this work further? I would love to coach you inside my coaching program, How to Glow. It's a no-commitment monthly program where you can get coached every week and be part of an amazing community of women. Ready to give it a try? Join today at kaylalevin.com/coaching

Have you ever had (or heard) this thought? If he really loved me... he'd remember my birthday, or he'd help me out more, or he'd ask about my day... We've all been there. Well, this thought is terrible. It's not just terrible because it feels bad (which it does), it's also terrible because it doesn't get you anywhere productive. Here's how you can check in--imagine yourself thinking this thought. What do you look like? How are you feeling? What are you doing? Now ask: does any of that contribute to you getting more of what you want? In this week's episode, I'm sharing with you a specific process to go from the "if he really loved me" funk into a truly productive way to approach your marriage. Other episodes mentioned: Episode 34 - The Five Love Languages Trap

Ever been in that place where you KNOW you could drop the issue and move on but you just don't WANT to? That's what this episode is all about. The best news is: you get to stay angry if you want. Really, I mean it. But I want you to decide with so much awareness. This week I'll walk you through a coaching exercise to decide whether to keep or let go of your anger towards your husband (or really anyone else). Save it and repeat as many times for as many situations as you need. And if you want to take this all further, join us inside of How to Glow -- Founder pricing is ending soon so get in BEFORE the end of the year and you can get weekly coaching for the amazing price of $39/month. kaylalevin.com/coaching

This week I welcome back one of my favorite marriage thought-leaders, the lovely Alison Armstrong. Alison has recently released the audiobook version of her book, The Queens Code and we talked about her work, the effect it had on my marriage, and the benefits of hearing it in audiobook format. Listen to hear... Alison's experience in the creation of this book and audiobook Why she chose to make it fiction vs. non-fiction How we can feel like a Queen (even if we have big families and/or tight budgets!) The power of our "overflow" and "count-on-ability" and how to use these to support our marriages You can learn more and purchase The Queen's Code Audiobook here.

You know when you did that thing and then you were SO ANNOYED that you did it? It wasn't just about your self control (and it's certainly not that you're "bad").  You had a really strong urge to do a thing, and fighting it didn't work. Today I'm going to share with you something way more effective than fighting your urges, whether it's to eat something that isn't good for you, snap at your husband, say that bit of lashon hara, or go on a Target spending spree.  Want to get coaching to apply this work to your life? I'm there to coach you every week inside of the How to Glow program. Join us at kaylalevin.com/coaching

Hi my friends. I did a webinar about a week ago with. Devra from Adai Ad, and I wasn't planning on sending it to the podcast, but I heard back from so many people that it made such a huge difference. That it was exactly the kinds of things that they're worrying about dealing with, struggling with over Yom Tov spending Yom Tov with family, especially if you have young children. But even if not, managing those dynamics between your husband and your family, or his family, and you and their family and all the different things. Right. Devora had some really phenomenal advice, and of course I'm bringing all the coaching and, um, mindset work and typical relationship things in the whole newlywed experience. So I asked if it would be okay for me to repost this over here on the podcast. She said yes, because she's awesome and I'm sharing it over here with you. I also wanna let you know that if you're hearing any of this and thinking, okay, but. It sounds really good. I'm not exactly sure how to apply it to my situation or my family, or you know, how we're dealing with things. We will be working on relationships for the entire month of October. We even have one call during chol hamoed and there will be written coaching. So if you know that you're gonna be needing some support, I am here to support you during that time, and I wanna really, really encourage you to make this the time that you go ahead and join How To Glow Today, because once you're inside, you're gonna have access to the tools that are gonna get you up and running, and you'll be able to get live coaching with me and written coaching. So anytime you have a question, you can just send it in and it'll get back to you within a couple days. Sometimes even the same day. All right, so this is the way that I have to support you. I know it's making a huge difference for the women that are inside the program, and I really want to be able to help you as well. So you just go to KaylaLevin.com/coaching. You'll be able to sign up immediately and get started on those courses. So by the time you get to the next call, which we have calls every single week, you'll be ready to go. You'll understand the tools that we use. Everything is made to be really short and simple. So, You're not sitting there watching hours and hours of classes. Nobody has time for that right now, but you could listen while you're doing your cooking or packing, right? Be ready to get and get some coaching so we can just, let's just fix whatever these issues are so you don't have to be carrying them from year to year. Wouldn't that be amazing? All right, so that is my offer to you, to come inside and join us for October and work on relationships. I will teach you a completely different way to approach relationships. It is not about communication. That will be enough to just show you that it is not what you've heard before , and it is such a massive relief, and it allows you to really appreciate people that you think right now you will never be able to really appreciate. KaylaLevin.com/coaching. In the meantime, I hope you love this conversation with Devora from Adai Ad 

My job as your coach is to help you become an expert in using your brain. Your unique brain, with its individual quirks, yes. But our brains are so much more similar than they are different. Here are some of the things brains do: Interpret facts and think it’s reality Focus on what other people are doing and lose self-awareness Take ourselves really literally (when I think “I can’t do this,” my brain believes me and responds accordingly) Check out this week’s episode to learn my favorite tools that I use and teach to help us all be experts in using our brains to create the lives we want. And if you're ready to take this work further, visit https://kaylalevin.com/coaching and join the program to get live coaching and work directly with me on mastering your brain and improving your life.

This week I'm chatting with Rebekah Saltzman, owner of Balagan Be Gone, about how to get ready for yuntif without the stress! I know you'll love her no-nonsense approach, and you'll definitely love the awesome giveaway we have in store for you! THE GIVEAWAY! Go to kaylalevin.com/balagan to be entered into the giveaway for... 1 Copy Organized Jewish Life - https://amzn.to/3CZJbzo ($31 value) 1 Copy Organized Jewish Life Shabbat and Holiday Planner - https://amzn.to/3wSW9ef ($18.99 value) 1 Month Free to Journey to Organization Membership - Silver Level ($67 value) 2 3-month Memberships for the How to Glow Community PLUS every entry will AUTOMATICALLY get a coupon for the each of our memberships! Winners will be selected October 19. Enter here! Want to follow Rebekah? Here's where you can find her: Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/BalaganBeGone Facebook Group - https://www.facebook.com/groups/591632997706988 Instagram -  https://www.instagram.com/balaganbegone/?hl=en TikTok - https://www.tiktok.com/@rebekahsaltzman

In this week’s podcast I’m sharing a tool for when your husband is struggling. There are three situations I’m addressing today: When your husband is going through a major transition or priority shift When your husband is struggling with something about you (whether that’s in your control or not) When your husband is dealing with a crisis (such as mental or health crisis, job loss, death of a family member) How can we support him without taking responsibility for what he’s struggling with, or rushing in to try to fix it? Listen today to get a simple tool you can apply in any situation when your husband is struggling.

One of my favorite coaching tools that I developed working with newlyweds is the idea of Baseline Self Care. This not your typical conversation about self care. This is not just about adding what you enjoy into your schedule. This is about understanding that you function on different levels--and the most critical is when you are functioning below BASELINE.  You know the feeling after pulling an all-nighter? Like you absolutely know you shouldn't make any major decisions? That's called being below baseline. It's so critical to know what your baseline is because you'll know a) not to engage in trying to fix anything right now b) not to evaluate yourself, your husband, or your relationship right now c) not to take any of your thoughts seriously Our goal is to get WAY ABOVE baseline--not to get *just* above it. But our response to being below baseline is like a Code Red. We drop everything, including our judgments, until we are back above baseline. Take this work further with us inside of How to Glow, the online coaching membership for married Jewish women. kaylalevin.com/coaching Be Impactful Podcast on Apple Podcasts and Spotify

It's crazy what a 180 we need to go through to go from dating to marriage.  Dating: "Can this guy make me happy?" Marriage: "It's not his job to make me happy... I make MYSELF happy!" Is this a cop-out? Is this even possible? And what's the point of getting married if he's not going to make me happy? Check out this week's replay for my two episodes all about the tool of Staying In Your Lane. It's one of the best things you can do for your marriage and your own happiness. Resources from this week's episode: The How to Glow Coaching Program Jewish Money Matters podcast on Apple Podcasts and Spotify

Ever notice that the things that cause you the most stress are sometimes the exact thing you most wanted? Once upon a time we only dreamed of getting to know and understand our husbands better, have children, or land that exact job. And once we have them, it's so easy to forget and to allow those same things to overwhelm us and stress us out. It's such a simple re-frame, but it can feel life changing when you need it. Make sure to listen this week to hear how to apply this in your life. Can't wait to hear from you about what dream you are living! Resources from this week's episode: Project Honeymoon: KaylaLevin.com/newlywed (Please share!) How to Glow: KaylaLevin.com/coaching (Opens for registration the 28th) The Franciska Show: Spotify Apple Podcasts

Ready for a tool that will make you feel like an undercover superhero? The Invisible Cape is THE magic trick to pull you out of the keeping-up-with-the-Cohens mentality. Because we ALL have our areas where we feel compelled to compete. This tool is one of my longtime listeners' and current clients' favorites--so I know you'll love it. And if you've heard it before, we can all use a refresh. Ready to take this work deeper? Doors open at the end of the month for my monthly membership coaching program, How to Glow. You can get on the waitlist now at kaylalevin.com/coaching  See you inside! Resources from this Episode: The Happy Birthway Podcast - Apple Podcasts and Spotify

This week I'm sharing our family's news which is why I've been MIA so far this summer. I'm also beginning our summer series where we'll be bringing back some of our listeners' most favorite episodes. This week is The Dreaded Housework--how can we use coaching concepts to improve our relationship with our more mundane parts of life? This was originally a two-part episode--we are including both in this week's replay. Sources from this episode: Keys to the Kingdom - How men change over time and why it's so confusing.   The Queen's Code - How we can bring out the best in men (and often bring out the worst)  Episode 12 - Mind Management - For an introduction to thought work 

If you've been struggling to stay on track with a decision you made, this episode is for you. So often, we make decisions when what we should be making are goals.  What's the difference? A decision is one-and-done. A goal is a process. If you think you're making a decision but you really need a goal, you'll end up weakening your faith in yourself and creating a lot of extra frustration. If you set a goal that could easily just be a decision, you're spinning your wheels on work you don't need to do. Listen this week to learn how to distinguish between a goal and a decision, how to make each, and how to stick to it.

If you've found yourself saying "yes" to too many things simply because it's so hard to say "no"... whether because you hate to disappoint others or you want to be nice or you just can't stand the awkward moment.. this week's podcast is for you. I want to show you what's on the other side of learning how to say no. What's on the other side is true giving. When you are willing and able to say "no" when someone asks you to do something you really don't want to or is outside your comfort zone, then when you say "yes" it's a true yes. This week I'll help you check in on your people-pleasing tendencies and get you excited for the huge benefits of real giving. Oh, and here are some links that came up this week: Get the Marriage Check-In Workbook, FREE on my website Say hello over on Instagram and celebrate 200k with me! Learn how to get coached and take this all to the next level.

Today I want to talk to you about the idea of how we relate to one another's feelings and how that relates to the idea that our own thoughts create our feelings. Specifically, we're going to take this into our marriages: "I want to be happy" turns into "I need my husband to do xyz so I will be happy" "I want my husband to be happy" becomes "I'm responsible to do everything he says will make him happy" On the other end of the spectrum, we could go too far-- taking NO responsibility for our behavior, having no sensitivity to what the other person wants or cares about, and washing our hands of it by saying, "well, it's HIS thoughts that made him upset, not me." Want to dive deeper into this work? Doors open soon for How to Glow and I'd love to have you join us! Just head over to kaylalevin.com/coaching to find out more.

Rachel Glasser kept seeing comments on the Frum Girl Problems Facebook group about mother-in-law dynamics that were directly addressed in the research she had done about this relationship, so she decided to share her findings. I saw her post and immediately invited her onto the podcast. I loved our conversation. Having gone through all the major studies about in-law relationships in the last sixty years, Rachel has so much to share about the most common pitfalls in these relationships, the advantages or working on the relationship, and specific ways we can go about this. What was surprising to you about what Rachel had to share?

Has your brain felt noisy lately? I noticed a tendency to reach for a podcast or shiur when I had a lot on my mind and some housework that needed to get done. And when I paid attention, I found (probably not surprisingly) that once the podcast was over, my brain felt just as noisy as before. Sometimes more so. So I've adopted a check-in with myself: If my brain is noisy, what I need is silence. If my brain feels calm, I might want to listen to something. (Or I might just want to enjoy the quiet!) It's so simple, but it's been a game changer. We don't need to listen to anything to get ourselves up and going. When you give your brain some space to do it's thing, you'll be amazed what it can work out on its own. And if you are feeling spacious (or aren't there yet but want to understand this better)--make sure to check out this week's episode where I go into this whole concept much more deeply.

Pursuing happiness tends to make it even more elusive. Most of the women I know and work with know that sitting on the couch with bonbons when life is feeling a little unsatisfying is not going to do the trick. So in this ongoing conversation about self-care, I’m going to make another distinction that I think can help us. There are activities that make your life better.. and there’s rest. And both are critical. When we use “self-care-type activities” to FEEL BETTER (to feel happy, fulfilled, enjoying our life), I’m not sure it’s so effective. When we rest because we are so drained or depleted that there are no happy thoughts to think, (or–please–catch yourself before you get to this point when you can) we set ourselves up to rejoin a life that has meaning and purpose which then leads to real fulfillment and happiness. You can rest on your couch or at a 5-star-spa for all I care, but know that your rest isn’t going to give you what you really need. It’s crucial, but it’s function is just to get you back in the game.

HOT TOPIC today, ladies.  Whether this is relevant to you personally or not, I encourage you to listen for the tools I share in the context of this question. UPDATE: As of the posting of this episode, doors are open for How to Glow! GET IN TODAY for my best tools, live and written coaching, and the chance to hear other people get coached and grow from that! https://kaylalevin.com/coaching This week I'll be discussing... How to know when you need acceptance/thought work vs. a boundary How to deal with internal triggers The effect that western society has had on both women AND men -- and how understanding it will help you navigate this How to have a productive conversation when you've been hurt

"I had an idea for a podcast topic that I don't think you covered. It is actually relevant to current (Jewish) events lately. I want to know what to do when you or your spouse is having a crisis and is not dealing with it properly. Or if there is a crisis in the world that you or your spouse is taking very hard and not functioning as they normally do. If it is you, that is one thing but what do you do when it is your spouse? Especially when it comes at a busy/high stress/just wrong time?" This is such a relevant question right now.  Listen to this week's episode to hear the following tools to help when your husband is struggling to navigate a stressful time... How to use self-awareness to reduce resistance "Zooming out" to create patience and long-term vision for your marriage Asking powerful questions to create meaningful solutions Shifting from "needs" to get yourself out of victim mode Get more support inside my private membership coaching program, How to Glow.

Not to be contrary, but this week we'll be talking about why you might need to take a BREAK from setting goals. This episode is for you if you have a goal that's been lingering for a while that you just can't seem to work up the motivation to achieve.  Listen to hear... Some "symptoms" that you are in need of a goals detox How tying your self worth to your accomplishments is actually making it harder for you to achieve your goals Why taking a break from having any goals will allow you to reset your entire approach How accepting where you are now and loving yourself as you are is your fastest track to growth I'd love to hear your thoughts and what goals you're ready to let go of! Be in touch at kaylalevin.com

We talk a lot on here about getting our needs met, because that's one of the main questions I get as a marriage coach. Today I want to share two tools that will help you get more of what you want--whether specifically in your marriage or in your life as a whole. Listen this week to learn: The main reason you aren't pursuing what you want Clear, doable strategies to help you clarify what you really want in your life How taking pleasure in your life now creates more momentum for pursuing your goals Where easy dopamine sources might be blocking you from pursuing your goals and loving your life Registration opens soon for How to Glow. Make sure you're on the wait list at www.kaylalevin.com/coaching!